Atlanta Divorce Law Group - August 2022

Atlanta Divorce Law Group - August 2022

w

When I meet with a new client about their divorce case, there is usually at least one quiet moment. That’s when they’ll lean toward me and ask their burning question: “Sara, do you think I should forgive my ex after everything they’ve done?” My answer usually surprises them because it isn’t a yes or a no. It’s this: “Before you can forgive someone else for doing you wrong, you have to forgive yourself for the hurt you felt.” This might be an unconventional strategy, but it has helped me navigate a lot of disappointments, betrayals, and disagreements in my own life. It’s useful not just for divorce, but for any conflict within a relationship. Usually, when I share my tip, I get raised eyebrows and more questions. Should You Forgive and Forget? The First Step Toward Healing Post-Divorce

August 2022

level. We agree to things that aren’t in our best interest or trust the wrong people and end up getting hurt. Being a participant doesn’t mean you’re to blame for what happened — the other person can still be in the wrong for breaking your trust or violating your commitment! But you do share a sliver of responsibility. Looking at your situation with clear eyes and owning that reality is the first step toward healing. The second step is forgiving yourself. After that, you’ll finally reach the stage where you can consider forgiving the other person. For this third and last step, ask yourself: “What do I need from this person in order to forgive them?” Maybe you need an apology or an explanation for their actions. There’s no shame in asking for what you need! Your ex-spouse might not be mature enough to say, “I’m sorry” on their own. But you can empower yourself and stand up for your feelings by asking for that apology. Asking for what you need passes the burden of forgiveness onto the other person. It’s up to them now whether they’ll be forgiven. You’ve given them the tools and done your part, so you can move from the conflict — whether it’s something as complicated as divorce or as simple as a fight about who will pick the kids up from school. Once you’ve mastered this three-step method and discovered your agency, you won’t be the kind of person things happen to; you’ll be the kind of person who makes things happen.

AtlantaDivorceLawGroup.com 678-203-9893

“What do you mean I have to forgive myself? What did I do?”

Maybe you’re wondering that same thing. If so, you may think you’re not blaming yourself for your situation, but deep in your gut, you probably are. When someone hurts or disappoints us, we hold onto that hurt because we feel like we let it happen. You might be upset at yourself for failing to put up boundaries, failing to speak up for yourself, or being too vulnerable.

The hard truth is that we are participants in every situation we find ourselves in, at least on some

Don’t knock my method until you try it. You may be surprised by how well it works!

“Before you can forgive someone else for doing you wrong, you have to forgive yourself for the hurt you felt.”

–Sara Khaki

1

678-203-9893

HEAL AFTER DIVORCE — OR START THE PROCESS With Help From These Virtual Events

HAPPILY EVER AFTER DIVORCE SUPPORT GROUP MEETING (VIRTUAL SUPPORT GROUP) When: Saturday, Aug. 13 at 10 a.m. Register: AtlantaDivorceLawGroup.com/happily-ever-after-divorce-support-group Make no mistake: Going through divorce is tough. Our team does everything we can to make the process smooth, but it still takes an emotional toll. Sometimes the best way to get through the process is to talk with other people who have been in your situation. That’s why we created our Happily Ever After Divorce Support Group. If you’re struggling to deal with your divorce, do yourself a favor and register for a meeting. You’ll be surprised just how productive it is! At the online gathering, you’ll hear from peers who are/have been in your shoes and get invaluable guidance from Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Kathleen Shack. It’s the first step toward healing.

Our complimentary divorce support groups and seminars are available online! Register for these upcoming events to gain knowledge, resources, and emotional support that will help you feel empowered while you go through major life changes.

DIVORCING A NARCISSIST (COMPLIMENTARY WEBINAR) When: Tuesday, Aug. 9 at 6:30 p.m. Register: AtlantaDivorceLawGroup.com/our-seminars

Let us guess: When you first met, your spouse was incredibly charming. You loved their confidence, ambition, and independence. But now, several years in, you’ve realized that behind the facade they’re self-centered, entitled, and controlling. If that sounds familiar (or if you have a friend in that situation), you might be dealing with a narcissist — and this webinar can help. Maybe divorce is the best solution, or maybe it isn’t. Either way, this webinar will give you (or your friend) clarity. Our team will explain the steps to take toward divorce, what to expect, and how to prepare. Divorcing a narcissist is tricky. They’ll push your boundaries, gaslight you, and try to take control at every turn. But you can get through it and do what’s best for your family. Sign up for this webinar now or share the URL with your friend to secure a happier future.

Here at ADLG, we’re not letting COVID-19 slow us down. Sign up for these virtual events to get the information and support you need without leaving home.

Our feathered friends may need a hand when their food sources are scarce or when winter rolls around, which is where bird feeders come in! Making homemade bird feeders is a fun way for you and your family to be creative while learning about birds and other local fauna. You can create a bird feeder in many ways and encourage kids to get crafty! GATHER YOUR SUPPLIES. Most homemade bird feeders can be made with materials you can find in your own home! Recycled items such as toilet paper rolls, cereal boxes, egg cartons, milk jugs, paper plates and bowls, or even pine cones from the yard are perfect building blocks. Whatever you choose to build with, make sure the feeder is accessible to the birds! Cut holes so the birds can peck at the food and craft a place for them to perch on. If you’re hanging the feeder, cut holes for twine and ensure it won’t hang too low. For food, you can use regular bird seed from the store, or you can use items from your own fridge. (As part of the project, take a little time to look online for safe bird food suggestions if you don’t use seed.) You can adhere seeds and pieces of fruit and veggies to the side of the feeder with peanut butter — no glue required! JAZZ IT UP! This is where kids can personalize their own bird feeder. Using bird-safe paints (such as oil-based, latex, acrylic, or watercolor), your kids can design their own bird feeders with bright colors or designs that express their personalities or interests. Be sure not to paint the inside of the feeder, as birds may scratch and consume the paint while trying to reach the food. Then all you have left is to find the perfect spot. Try to find a space where you can see the birds but with enough distance so you don’t scare them away. After that, hang it up and watch the flocks come to you! Homemade bird feeders can be a great way to get your kids involved with Mother Nature and teach them how to care for and observe wild animals, all while being good to the environment.

With Homemade Bird Feeders! GET CRAFTY WITH MOTHER NATURE

2 AtlantaDivorceLawGroup.com

EXPLORE KID-FRIENDLY YOUTUBE CHANNELS

And Enhance Your Child’s Learning

Every family has their own approach when it comes to their children watching online content. The vast world of videos and channels in the media can be dicey. When media is used thoughtfully and appropriately, though, it can enhance your child’s learning experience. Here are four great YouTube channels for your kids, or even your whole family, to watch. DODO KIDS After years of parents telling The Dodo they loved watching their videos with the whole family, Dodo Kids was created. This channel is great for kids who have an interest in or passion for animals and enjoy watching cute, heartwarming animal videos. This channel features kid hosts, funny voice-overs, and colorful graphics to make stories fun and engaging. Check out the cuteness at YouTube.com/c/ TheDodoKids/featured. PBS KIDS This channel is committed to making a positive impact in the lives of children through their

curriculum-based media. A large inventory of educational videos feeds your child’s curiosity about science, the world, or even emotional challenges they may face. To kids, it’s just an interesting video, but in reality, they’re getting a deeper understanding of the world they live in. Give it a try at YouTube.com/c/PBSKIDS/featured. NETFLIX JR. In 2022, Netflix will launch Netflix Jr., where kids can watch feature characters from their favorite shows, like “StoryBots” or “Super Monsters.” Children can learn and sing along with engaging content like the “ABC Jamboree” or educational videos like “What Makes an Airplane Fly?” See all the fun at YouTube.com/c/NetflixJr/featured. CRASH COURSE KIDS From the producers of Crash Course, this new channel for kids highlights grade school science. They focus on the Earth, habitats, space, chemical reactions, engineering, and much more. Many teachers and home-school parents use Crash

Course in their classrooms because it’s full of engaging topics and enhances the learning experience visually versus reading from a textbook. Discover what you can learn at YouTube.com/c/ crashcoursekids/featured. YouTube can be a great outlet for children to learn and engage their creativity. They can discover new interests, learn from diverse perspectives, and even enjoy a greater sense of community. Who knows? You might even learn something along the way!

If you’re a busy professional, just got divorced, or are in the middle of the divorce process, the last thing you should be worrying about on weekends is cleaning out your gutters! It’s messy, grueling work that steals the time you should be spending on yourself and your family. To get that time back, consider working with the experts at Outback GutterVac. Outback GutterVac is an Australian company that recently brought its state-of- art ThunderVac™ Technology Process for gutter cleaning to the U.S. They offer a range of services for both homes and businesses, including gutter cleaning and repair, the GutterRoo gutter protection system (an improvement on traditional gutter guards), and power washing. CONCIERGE PARTNER’S CORNER SUSAN DOYLE WITH OUTBACK GUTTERVAC

What Our Clients Are Saying!

“These are very caring and professional lawyers with a lot of knowledge about family law and divorce. Shawna Woods is a great attorney who listens and will work really hard on your behalf. I highly recommend this firm!” “I was a divorce lawyer for over 10 years, so when I needed legal advice in my own life, my first call was to Shawna and her team at ADLG. From that first call to the end of my case, everything and everyone was amazing. My questions were answered, my emails and calls were returned, and unlike most of the firms, there were no charges on my bill that were unnecessary (they bill honestly and do not create work that does not need to be done). I have nothing but great things to say. Thank you, ADLG!” –John L. –Emily T.

When you work with Outback GutterVac and Susan Doyle, their Greater Atlanta corporate markets manager, you won’t have to worry about water damage, rust, pests, waterway pollution, or fire hazards stemming from your overflowing gutters. Susan has been a homeowner in

the Atlanta area for more than 25 years, so she knows exactly how stressful maintenance can be. That’s why Outback GutterVac can take care of everything from cleaning up storm messes to performing preventive maintenance.

Give Outback GutterVac a call today at 877-703-4822 or visit OutbackGutterVac.com to see how much time and stress they can save you.

3 678-203-9893

In today’s society, we are faced with tragic stories and upsetting information, no matter where we turn. This can quickly lead us to a negative mindset where we believe things can’t be fixed and will only get worse, so it’s even more important now to establish a positive mindset. Though it might be easier to bury your head in the sand, fostering positivity in your life will provide you with many benefits. Choosing Joy Every Day 3 WAYS TO FOSTER A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

But doing so is easier said than done. If you’re unsure where to begin, try out some of these methods to help you get started.

FOCUS ON THE SILVER LINING. When something bad or unfortunate happens, we are quick to think about the negatives and how they will impact us in the future. Instead, we should be searching for a silver lining. You can find a positive in any situation, but you’ll have to put in the effort to flip your perspective. KEEP A GRATITUDE JOURNAL. When we think about gratitude and thankfulness, our minds usually think about Thanksgiving. But we don’t need to wait for a special day to show gratitude. Things happen to us every day that we should be grateful for. If you’re struggling to acknowledge your blessings, keep a gratitude journal and write a few things you are thankful for each day. Over time, that thought process will seep into your daily life.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE. The people we associate with play a huge role in our mental well-being. If you’re constantly around people who put you down or tell you that you can’t accomplish certain things, you will feel worse about yourself — or even believe them. You need to block the negative people from your life and surround yourself with those who think optimistically.

Establishing a positive mindset in today’s world may be difficult, but it is not impossible if you develop a strategy and follow through with it. Welcome to the Team, Judge Sumner! A FAMILY LAW JUDGE JOINS ADLG

We have fantastic news this month: Retired Superior Court Judge John Sumner has joined our team as a senior attorney! We couldn’t be happier to have John with us. He brings 35 years of valuable experience in family law to the table, including time spent on both sides of the bench. Before joining ADLG, John was a judge for 20 years and a trial attorney for 15. He began his legal career at a public defender’s office working on appeals and domestic law, child representation, juvenile court, personal injury, and criminal defense cases. Then, he was appointed as a superior court judge with an emphasis on family law. He served on three different statewide committees and was also president of the Council of Juvenile Court Judges at one point. Many people would have retired after such a successful career, but John decided to step back into practicing law instead. As a senior family law attorney, he can put his experience to work helping victims of domestic violence. Like the rest of our team, he’s passionate about guiding people through hard times such as divorce and child

custody battles. He prides himself on honesty and hard work and strives to give his clients hope and help them move forward. John has been through divorce himself and found his Happily Ever After Divorce later in life with his “soul mate and best friend.” When we asked John what family means to him, he said, “Family is everything. It goes beyond DNA and legal documents. … It’s the people in our lives we can turn to in the good times as well as the hard times.” John chose our team out of all of the family law firms in Atlanta because of our top-notch reputation and holistic team approach based around clients’ needs. He has been working with us for a couple months now and is already educating people on the law, finding out the facts, and helping clients through difficult times. We couldn’t ask for more than that! We’re so excited to have John as part of our ADLG family. He’s going to do great things for our clients, and we’ll be cheering him on every step of the way.

4 AtlantaDivorceLawGroup.com