Atlanta Divorce Law Group - December 2020

Atlanta Divorce Law Group - December 2020

December 2020

WHATWILL YOU CARRY INTO 2021? WHATWILL YOU LEAVE BEHIND? 2020 CHALLENGED ALL MY ASSUMPTIONS

We did it — we made it to the last month of 2020! What a crazy, uncertain, stressful year this has been. 2020 brought massive growing pains for everyone, including our team here at ADLG. It stretched us to our limits as parents, professionals, and human beings facing our fears, including death, illness, and losing our loved ones. I know my daily routine was impacted dramatically, and I’m sure yours was, too. All that said, I’m a firm believer in the fact that nothing reveals a person’s strength quite like a trial by fire. Now that we’ve survived this year, we’re all better suited to move forward into 2021. This pandemic has brought out our resilience, and that’s something to celebrate! At ADLG, we always applaud change and growth because it means moving toward a healthier, stronger future. It also means leaving behind what no longer serves you. Usually when we say that, we’re referencing an unhealthy relationship or something else holding a client back from thriving, but 2020 has widened our scope. I, for one, have realized that a lot of the rules I’d made up in my head about day-to-day life (e.g., my kids have to go to a certain school, I have to work in a particular office, I need to keep the same monthly appointments, etc.) weren’t rules after all. They were just assumptions I’d made. The circumstances of 2020 challenged those belief systems, and I’m starting to think that challenge was for the better. Here are a few examples. For years, my husband and I were determined to keep our kids in a particular public school. That meant living in a certain neighborhood so we were always in the school zone. Then, this year, our children’s learning went virtual and we started to wonder, “Is this school really the only good option out there?” The answer turned out to be “No,” and that opened up a whole new world of possibilities for our family.

COVID-19 also forced us to take another look at our budget, and we realized just how much we used to spend on unnecessary things. It was amazing to see how often we’d been getting our nails done, eating out, and going to movie theaters and arcades just because. As it turns out, a lot of that spending wasn’t necessary — we can get the same thrill at a much lower cost by taking our kids to the park or going fishing with them. I can already tell that realization will have ripple effects for years to come. This month, I have a challenge for you: Try using these last few weeks of 2020 as a moment of reflection. What did you give up this year that you don’t need (or want) to add back into your life? Do you really need to work in an office instead of from home? Do you really need to spend that much on hair and beauty appointments? Maybe not. You might find, like I did, that you’re holding on tightly to things that don’t serve you. Once you’ve identified those things, ask yourself the opposite: What are you truly missing that you’d like to prioritize going forward? The answers to these questions will be our armor going into the New Year. In 2021, we’ll be healthier, smarter, and stronger. Just wait and see. “At ADLG, we always applaud change and growth because it means moving toward a healthier, stronger future. It also means leaving behind what no longer serves you.”

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From our families to yours, happy holidays!

–Sara Khaki

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ADD THIS SWEDISH TRADITION TO YOUR HOLIDAY

Make Swedish Saffron Buns on St. Lucia Day on Dec. 13

As you might remember, ADLG founder Sara Khaki grew up in Sweden. There, she and her family celebrated St. Lucia’s Day every year on Dec. 13. The holiday kicks off the Christmas season in Scandinavia, and it’s also sometimes called the Festival of Light. It honors St. Lucia, one of the first Christian martyrs, and dates all the way back to the early 11th century. Traditionally on St. Lucia’s Day, the oldest daughter of every family dresses in white to represent St. Lucia and brings her parents a breakfast of coffee and saffron buns (called “lussekatter” in Swedish). Sara’s family made these delicious pastries together every December when she was a little girl, and here in the states, she, her mom, and her kids still bake them to this day! Along with gingerbread, they’re Sara’s favorite Christmas dessert. Lussekatter are beautiful S-shaped pastries that glow yellow from the threads of saffron baked into them. The word “lussekatter” actually means “Lucia cats,” and is said to reference the pasty’s shape, which looks a bit like two curled cat tails. Traditionally, the treats go into the oven dotted with raisins and glazed with egg to give them a reflective sheen.

Sara’s mom and kids doing some Christmas baking

recipe like Sara’s at SimplyRecipes.com/Recipes/St_Lucia_Saffron_Buns, complete with helpful photos that show the whole baking and shaping process.

If you give the pastries a try, we’d love to see your results! Post a picture of your finished pastries on our Facebook page, Facebook.com/ AtlantaDivorceLawGroup, and we just might show off your skills in a future newsletter. Happy baking!

If you love baking during the holidays, why not give lussekatter a try this year? They’re buttery, sweet, and definitely a crowd-pleaser. You can find a traditional

Be a Better Listener for Someone

Who Needs to ‘Get It All Out’

It’s not always easy to share feelings of frustration, anger, sadness, or other strong emotions — but it’s healthy to share them. Sometimes, we need to vent and get it all out. Venting gives us an opportunity to release these emotions, which often leads to mental clarity. However, when someone comes to you to vent and share their heavy emotional burden, listening can be just as challenging as sharing. You want to be supportive, but you don’t want to interfere. Strong feelings and tough situations may be involved. What can you do to be the listener they really need?

It starts with your body language. Open yourself to their emotional needs. Gregorio Billikopf, an interpersonal relationship expert at the University of California, Berkeley says if you begin the conversation standing, invite the person to have a seat with you. Another thing you can do as a listener is position yourself below their eye line. This puts the person venting in a more active “storyteller” position and you in a better “listener” position. While in this position, maintain eye contact. It’s okay to look down or away occasionally, but try to keep steady eye contact. Billikopf also notes that, as a listener, it’s important to avoid interjecting. Don’t offer input, suggestions, or guidance to the person venting until after the person has had the chance to get it all out. “During this venting process, there is still too much pressure for a person to consider other perspectives,” Billikopf says. While you don’t want to interject, you do want to be an active listener. This means you don’t want to be completely silent. This is where “reflective listening” comes in. Occasionally repeat what the speaker says — but don’t use their exact phrasing. Reword slightly in a sympathetic manner. Don’t spin their words or mistakenly interject an opinion, as it may not be the opinion they’re interested in hearing. Alternatively, listening cues like “mm” or “hm” and nods are always welcome. One last thing to keep in mind: You do not need to offer a solution to the person’s problem or concerns. They may just be venting to get their negative emotions out, not looking for answers or explanations. If they are looking for answers or guidance, wait for them to ask. In the meantime, lend your ear and let them know you’re there for them going forward.

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BE THE HOST WITH THE MOST AT THIS YEAR’S VIRTUAL HOLIDAY PARTY

GET IN THE SPIRIT OF GIVING. Sometimes, a lull in conversation during a video call can feel agonizingly awkward. But this is a party, and you want to keep festivities lively, so avoid potential lapses by providing plenty of things to do. Games are always

This year, you’ve probably celebrated Halloween and Thanksgiving a little differently in order to keep your gatherings safe. But ’tis the season for holiday parties, so if your annual get-together is one you just can’t go without, consider creating the perfect virtual party this year. KEEP INVITES CLASSIC. Just because your partygoers won’t be attending in person doesn’t mean they should be any less excited when their invitation arrives! Create a fun and festive invite and send it to your guests in the mail, complete with date, time, attire, and exact instructions for how to access your virtual party. This physical reminder will keep your event top of mind and bring some familiarity to the process. OVERDO YOUR ATMOSPHERE. Just as you would decorate and set up before guests arrive in person, you should do the same for your virtual party if you want to create a truly festive spirit. Because people will see you and your home through a camera, you should ramp things up a bit. Pick a corner of your home where you can hang plenty of lights and decorations, crank up some tunes, dress in your holiday best, and have a glass of eggnog and some classic hors d’oeuvres nearby. Treat your virtual party like a real party, and it’ll be one to remember.

a great option, and if you want to keep with the spirit of holiday parties, send your guests party

favors before the party that they can open during the call. Mail wrapped gifts with strict instructions to wait until

the party. Fun food items, gag gifts, and ugly Christmas sweaters make for great conversation starters, and taking turns opening gifts on camera gets everyone involved. There’s no reason to cancel the holiday party you’ve been looking forward to hosting all year. Virtual parties present an opportunity to get creative, start new traditions, and provide loved ones with the holiday cheer they’ve been needing.

Concierge Partner’s Corner

HERE’S WHAT OUR Clients Are Saying!

Since the COVID-19 pandemic arrived in the U.S., 46 million Americans have emptied their emergency savings accounts, according to a CNBC/Acorns survey. On the flipside, more people are scrimping and saving right now than this same time last year, trying to put away funds just in case things get worse.

Does that sound familiar? Regardless of which side of the equation you’re on, your bank accounts probably keep you up at night — but they don’t have to.

“The Atlanta Divorce Law Group did a great job representing me during my divorce. Jeanette, Kate, Ashley, Sara, Becky, and Nicole were all wonderful. Any time I had a question, they were responsive and guided me along during the process. They gave me great advice and ultimately settled with a reasonable amount. I would highly recommend them to anyone who is looking for great divorce representation.” – Thomas H. “Careful, diligent advocacy with great attention to detail and exceptional compassion — that’s what clients experience at the Atlanta Divorce Law Group. Their drive is truly exceptional.” – MatthewM.

When you feel overwhelmed, it’s time to bring in the professionals at oXYGen Financial. This financial services company offers advice on everything fromwealth management to retirement, taxes, and insurance. It’s run by CEO and co-founder Ted Jenkin, a renowned financial advisor licensed in more than 20 states. Ted has been named a Top 10 Financial Advisor by Investopedia for three years running and was the Investment News Innovator of the Year in 2019. He’s also a TV and podcast host and the author of two books: “The 21-Day Budget Cleanse” and “Real Life, Real Money: 100 Smart Money Moves

To Make NOW.” In short, he knows his stuff! Whether your goal is saving for retirement, increasing your investments, creating a budget, or putting your kids through college, he can help. Using an eight-step financial process, Ted and his team help clients understand their finances, set goals, and build personal financial plans that work. To learn more about oXYGen Financial and whether it’s a good fit for your family, visit oXYGenFinancial.com .

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2 ADLG EVENTS YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS OUR SUPPORT GROUPS AND WEBINARS ARE HERE TO HELP

consider when you’re deciding if divorce is right for you, how the process works, what to expect out of a divorce if you get one, and the financial concerns to be aware of. You’ll leave this with a renewed sense of purpose and clarity, whether you opt for a divorce or want to try working things out with your spouse. HOLIDAYS DURING A DIVORCE (VIRTUAL SUPPORT GROUP) When: Thursday, Dec. 17, at 6:30 p.m. Register: AtlantaDivorceLawGroup.com/Happily-Ever-After-Divorce- Support-Group/ Christmas is almost here! This is one of the most cheerful times of the year, but it can also be one of the most complicated when you factor in a divorce, a child custody battle, or any other new family dynamic. Luckily, our team of experts have helped hundreds of people just like you navigate the holiday season — and we can get your family through it, too. This month, our friend and the founder and CEO of Family Solutions Counseling, LLC, Kathleen Shack, is leading an online support group to help you cope with holiday stress. Sign up today to get expert advice, connect with your peers, and learn how to put the joy back in your holiday celebrations.

Our complimentary divorce support groups and seminars are going online! Register for these upcoming events to gain knowledge, resources, and emotional support that can help you feel empowered while you go through major life changes. CONSIDERING DIVORCE (COMPLIMENTARYWEBINAR) When: Saturday, Dec. 12, at 10 a.m. Register: AtlantaDivorceLawGroup.com/Webinars/Considering-Divorce/

Have you been thinking about getting a divorce? If you’re debating which option is best for your future and the future of your family, you’re not alone. One study by The National Divorce Decision-Making Project found that more than 2 out of every 3 people considering divorce mull over the prospect for a year or more before making a decision. In this complimentary webinar, we’ll help you through the decision-making process. We’ll discuss what you should

Here at ADLG, we’re not letting COVID-19 slow us down. Sign up for these virtual events to get the information and support you need without leaving home.

Laugh, Cry, and Get Inspired With Andre Agassi Sara Reviews ‘Open’ for Read a New Book Month

Did you know that December is National Read a New Book Month? Some people argue that September has the real designation, but we think December is a better pick. After all, when it gets chilly outside, nothing is more comforting than curling up with a blanket and a book. Since Sara is an avid reader, we couldn’t resist asking her for a recommendation this month. She loves autobiographies, and one of her current favorites is “Open,” a 2009 memoir penned by tennis star Andre Agassi. “Most people see this guy as one of the greatest tennis players ever, and that’s all they know about him. But in the book, he tells you so much more,” Sara explains. “He’s honest, raw, and authentic, and it’s a great window into how messy we can be as human beings. Reading ‘Open,’ I realized that no matter how great someone is at something or how famous and wealthy they are, they’re still a human being. As humans, we’re really good at punishing and shaming ourselves. Between these guilt trips and endless dysfunctional patterns, it’s hard for even the best of us to appreciate our gifts and what we have.”

Agassi’s memoir covers everything: his childhood as a tennis prodigy, his eight Grand Slam titles, and his life as a celebrity. But it also dives into the dark side of his story, discussing his difficult relationship with his father and early unhappiness on the tennis court. “He even talks about his failed marriage to actress Brooke Shields. They fell into the same trap so many other people do. Their marriage seemed to make sense — it made everyone else around them happy, and they were a picture- perfect couple — but while that fed their egos, it didn’t fulfill their vision of what love and family should be,” Sara says. “Agassi’s not trying to make himself look like a superhero or win fans; he’s just being real.” Whether you need a new travel book for the holidays or just want to spend a lazy Christmas on the couch, “Open” is the addictive read for you. You can buy a hard copy on Amazon, find a digital version on Kindle, or listen to the audiobook at Audible.com.

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