Book of HOPE

BOOK OF HOPE

)LQGLQJ+RSHLQDQXQH[SHFWHGSODFH ZULWWHQE\.HYLQ'RQDJK\

, KDG EHHQ KHUH EHIRUH (LJKWHHQ PRQWKV SUHYLRXVO\ , KDG DQ RSHUDWLRQ WR UHPRYH 6WDJHWZR 0HODQRPD IURP P\ IRUHDUP DQG HYHU\WKLQJ KDG JRQH WR SODQ 7KH UHOLHI WR EH WROG WKH FDQFHU KDGQ¶W VSUHDG ZDV WRWDO DQG LQ WKH ZRUGV RI WKH SHUVRQ DW WKH HQG RI WKHSKRQH , FRXOG HQMR\ P\ ZHHNHQG ,W OLWHUDOO\ IORRUHG PH , VWLOO UHPHPEHU VWDQGLQJ RQWKDW EXV\ VWUHHW LQ WKH KHDUW RI (GLQEXUJK EUHDNLQJ GRZQ DQG FU\LQJ :KR NQRZV ZKDWWKH SDVVHUVE\ WKRXJKW RI PH DV , ZDV FUXPSOHG ZLWK P\ EDFN WR WKH ZDOO VREELQJ OLNHDORVWFKLOG\HWIHHOLQJWKHJUHDWHVWUHOLHI /LIH FDUULHG RQ DV QRUPDO DQG WKH VFDU RQ P\ DUP ZDV VWDUWLQJ WR KHDO TXLWH QLFHO\ ,WZDVQ¶W DV DQJU\ ORRNLQJ DV LW KDG EHHQ DQG , KDG MRNHG ZLWK P\ ZLIH 6RSKLH WKDW , ZRXOGKDYH LW WXUQHG LQWR D VQDNH WDWWRR DV LW VHHPHG WR VOLWKHU GRZQ P\ DUP 6KH KHOSIXOO\SRLQWHGRXWWKDW,FRXOGQ¶WDIIRUGWKHGLYRUFH )RUHLJKWHHQPRQWKVZHOLYHGUHOD[HGDQGWRRNPRUHMR\IURPWKHVLPSOHWKLQJVLQOLIH 7KHQLQ1RYHPEHU,WKRXJKW,KDGSXOOHGDPXVFOHLQP\EDFN7KHXQSODQQHGWULS WR$ (GXHWRWKHVHYHUHSDLQKDGOHGWRDYHU\TXLFNFKDLQRIHYHQWV 6R KHUH , ZDV EDFN LQ WKH :HVWHUQ *HQHUDO &DQFHU &HQWUH LQ (GLQEXUJK RQ P\ RZQ ,WZDV P\ FKRLFH WR EH RQ P\ RZQ ZKLFK KDV WR EH WKH ZRUVW GHFLVLRQ RI P\ OLIH )LIW\ \HDUVRQWKLVSODQHWDQG,VWLOOKDGQ¶WOHDUQHGWKDW\RXFDQ¶WGRHYHU\WKLQJRQ\RXURZQ 7KH ODUJH SDOH EOXH ZDLWLQJ URRP ZDV ILOOHG ZLWK RWKHU SHRSOH ZKRVH OLYHV KDG EHHQµWRXFKHG¶ RU PRUH DFFXUDWHO\ KDPPHUHG E\ FDQFHU 7KH\ VDW SDWLHQWO\ ZLWK D ZRUULHG H[SUHVVLRQ ZKLFK , ZRXOG VRRQ FRPH WR DGRSW DQG DORQJ ZLWK WKHLU SDUWQHUV IULHQGVDQGVLEOLQJ¶VWKH\VDWZDLWLQJWRVHHDQ2QFRORJLVW :KDWQHZVZRXOGWKH\JHW":RXOGWKHUHEHWHDUVMR\GHVSDLURUHYHQKRSH" ,W GLGQ¶W WDNH ORQJ IRU P\ OLIH WR FKDQJH 0\ VRIWO\ VSRNHQ LQFUHGLEO\ SROLWH 2QFRORJLVW VWDUWHG WR WDON DQG LPPHGLDWHO\ , ZDV HQYHORSHG LQ GDUNQHVV 1RW WKH NLQG RI GDUNQHVVZKHUH \RX FDQ MXVW VZLWFK RQ D OLJKW RU WDNH RII D FORDN FRYHULQJ \RXU KHDG EXWDIRJRIIGDUNQHVVZKHUHWKHOLJKWRIKRSHFRXOGQ¶WJHWLQ

7KLVZDVDQRXWRIERG\H[SHULHQFH:DVKHWDONLQJWRPH" +LVZRUGVIORZHGRYHUPHLQMHFWLQJPHZLWKDQXPEQHVVDQGDIUHH]LQJFKLOO 6WDJH)RXUOLIHOLPLWLQJLQFXUDEOH7KHVHDUHWKHRYHUDOOVXUYLYDOVWDWLVWLFVWKLVLVWKH WUHDWPHQW,W¶VTXLWHDQHZWUHDWPHQWDQGLILWZRUNVZHFDQKRSHIXOO\H[WHQG\RXUOLIH 6LOHQFH , FRXOGQ¶W VSHDN , JDWKHUHG WKH IUDJPHQWV RI P\ WKRXJKWV DQG VWDUWHG WR DVN TXHVWLRQV EXW DQ KRXU ODWHU , ZRXOG VWUXJJOH WR UHPHPEHU P\ TXHVWLRQV OHW DORQH WKH DQVZHUV , FDOOHG 6RSKLHDQGDVNHGKHUWR FRPH DQGPHHWPH ,FRXOGQ¶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¶WGHILQHPH,ZDVQ¶WFDQFHUDQGFDQFHUZDVQ¶WPH , QHHGHG WR ILQG VRPH VRUW RI FRQWURO DQG , ZDQWHG WR VKDUH P\ FDQFHU 1RW HYHU\RQH ZDQWHGWRVKDUHDQGLWGLGIHHOVHOILVKWRWKUXVWLWXSRQWKHP,W¶VKDUGWHOOLQJVRPHRQHDQG EHLQJPHWZLWKFRPSOHWHVLOHQFH:KDWGRWKH\VD\ZKDWGR,VD\" ,GLGQ¶WH[SHFWSHRSOHWRWDNHP\FDQFHUIRUPHEXWLIZHZHUHWRPDQDJHLWOLYHZLWKLW VXUYLYHLWZK\VKRXOGZHGRLWDORQH" , VKDUHG P\ FDQFHU ZLWK P\ FXVWRPHUV DORQJ ZLWK P\ IULHQG DQG FROOHDJXH 0DULVD 0DULVD NQHZ WKH GHYDVWDWLQJ LPSDFW WKDW FDQFHU KDG RQ KHU IDPLO\ DQG VKH VRRQ EHFDPHP\QHZVLVWHU 0DULVDVDWZLWKPHZKHQ,VKDUHGP\FDQFHUZLWKP\IULHQGVLQWKDWERDUGURRP0DULVD GLGQ¶WQHHGWREHWKHUHEXWVKHZDQWHGWREHZLWKPH7KDQN\RX0DULVD ,VKDUHGP\FDQFHUZLWKWKHSHRSOHLQWKDWURRPDQGWRP\FRPSOHWHVXUSULVH.HQQ\VDLG ³0\EURWKHULQ$XVWUDOLDKDVDFRPSDQ\WKDWWHVWVWKHWUHDWPHQW\RXDUHJRLQJWRUHFHLYH ,¶OOSXW\RXLQWRXFKZLWKKLP´ ,FRXOGQ¶WTXLWHJUDVSWKHHQRUPLW\RIZKDW.HQQ\KDGVDLG+LVFROOHDJXHVORRNHGDWKLPLQ FRPSOHWHVXUSULVHDVGLG0DULVVDDQG,&RXOGWKLVEHWKHKRSHZHZHUHORRNLQJIRU"

&RXOG.HQQ\¶VEURWKHUJLYHPHP\PLVVLQJSLHFHWRWKLVFDQFHUMLJVDZ"

:H OHIW WKDW URRP LQ DV PXFK VKRFN DV RXU IULHQGV LQ WKHUH DQG , FKHFNHG P\ SKRQH HYHU\ IHZ KRXUV RU HYHQ WR EH KRQHVW HYHU\ IHZ PLQXWHV DV P\ KHDG ZDV VWLOO VSLQQLQJIRUDQ(PDLOHPDLOIURP.HQQ\+HGLGQ¶WGLVDSSRLQWDQG,TXLFNO\UHFHLYHGKLV EURWKHU¶VHPDLODGGUHVV ,VHQWDQ(PDLO ,JRWDUHSO\ ,VDWDQGUHDGLWZLWK6RSKLHDQGUHUHDGLWDJDLQDQGDJDLQ +HUHZDVWKHKRSHZHFUDYHG.HQQ\¶VEURWKHUH[SODLQHGLQVLPSOHODQJXDJHWKHSRZHURI WKH WUHDWPHQW , ZDV WR UHFHLYH WKH SRWHQWLDO VLGH HIIHFWV DQG PRUH LPSRUWDQWO\ WKH FKDQFHVRILWZRUNLQJ 7KH VXIIRFDWLQJ IRJ KDV GLVDSSHDUHG DQG RXU YLHZ RI WKH ZRUOG DQG RXU IXWXUH ZDV QRZORRNLQJPRUHFOHDU:HFULHGDQGVPLOHGIRUWKHILUVWWLPHLQGD\V ,VKDUHGP\FDQFHU.HQQ\DQGKLVEURWKHUWRRNLWDQGJDYHXVKRSHLQUHWXUQ .HYLQ

0\VNLQFDQFHUMRXUQH\ ZULWWHQE\0DUN)LW]SDWULFN

,GRQ¶WYLVLWP\*3XQOHVV,¶PUHDOO\GHVSHUDWH,XVXDOO\³VHOIGRFWRU´+RZVHQVLEOH,KHDU \RX QRW VD\ ZKHQ ZH KDYH D IUHH KHDOWK VHUYLFH , XVXDOO\ WDNH LW HDV\ IRU D ELW KRSH ³WKLQJV´ JR DZD\ %XW VRPH ³WKLQJV´ ZRQ¶W JR DZD\ &DQFHU GRHVQ¶W EXW VRPHRQH HOVH XVXDOO\JHWVWKDWGRQ¶WWKH\" ,Q -DQXDU\  P\ ZLIH ³PDGH´ PH ERRN DQ DSSRLQWPHQW WR VHH P\ *3 , KDG WZR ³VXVSLFLRXV´VNLQEOHPLVKHVRQO\VPDOORQP\FKHHNDQGQHFN1RSDLQQRGLVFRPIRUWRU LWFKLQJEXWXQOLNHDQ\WKLQJ,¶GKDGEHIRUH ,¶GKDG WKHPDUNRQ P\QHFNIRU D FRXSOHRI \HDUV,KDGLWWHVWHGRQFHDQGZDVWROGWRMXVWPRQLWRULWIRUDQ\FKDQJHV,FRXOGQ¶WVHHLW SURSHUO\,WZDVKLGLQJEHORZP\HDUOLNHDEORRG\VQLSHU/XFNLO\0UV)FRXOGVHHLWDQG VKH WROGPHLW ZDV FKDQJLQJFRORXUDQG JHWWLQJ GDUNHUDSSDUHQWO\ +DG, OLYHGDORQH, RIWHQZRQGHULIDQ\RQHZRXOG¶YHVHHQLWLQWLPH" %HIRUHP\*3YLVLW,GLGWKHXVXDOLQWHUQHWUHVHDUFK