Bruce Law Firm - February 2021

Bruce Law Firm - February 2021

Have Courage and Be Kind

“Have courage and be kind.” – Brittany Candau “Be kind, for everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” – Unknown “Always be a little kinder than necessary.” – James M. Barrie “Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference.” – Helen James

other and an understanding of where the other person was coming from, then there would not be such vitriol and acrimony in divorce cases. (Indeed, there may be fewer divorce cases!) Clients’ cases would get over sooner, they would spend less money fighting over things that do not return the investment, and they could move on to live their best life sooner. But it is hard to expect clients to do this, especially when their emotions are still raw. That is why the attorneys and professionals working on the cases should lead by example. Don’t pick every fight or “stir the pot.” Don’t inflame client emotions or go on what we call “forays.” Incivility produces nothing other than to line their pocketbook. Before we continue, let us get one thing straight — we are not saying that a lawyer should not zealously advocate for their client, not at all. At our firm, we do that every day. We are tough and stand our ground, especially when dealing with spouses who have a personality disorder. But when representing clients who are looking for guidance and who trust us, and where one small thing can enrage our clients or cause a meltdown, as attorneys representing only divorce and family law clients, we know better. If other attorneys showed understanding and compassion (and a little foresight!), then many cases would probably end sooner and on fair terms. Surely our clients and their spouses do not want to slog through a divorce case for years, but unfortunately, we have very recently seen just that in one case that we had to take over. We believe getting things over faster is usually better for our clients, both financially and psychologically. So, kindness comes in all forms.Whether it be feeding stray animals behind a shopping center, letting someone cut in front of you during rush hour, responding to a nasty message gracefully, or even volunteering your time to show others that you care, show kindness when you do not have to. The next time you have the option of responding with a nastygram and inflaming the situation, or laughing at someone who has failed or made a mistake, remember to follow the golden rule: “Treat others how you want to be treated.”

These quotes embrace the main tenants we live by personally and professionally — empathy and kindness. Have empathy and show kindness to others, and you will make the world a better place. Feb. 17 is Random Acts of Kindness Day — a holiday that gives everyone a chance not just to celebrate kindness but to also spread kindness to every person we meet. Yet, shouldn’t we strive to do random acts of kindness every day?

Surely, if each person in a divorce case showed empathy to each

The kids volunteering their time to make toys

With kindness,

– Ashley and Christopher Bruce

The kids showing kindness to animals

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Spreading the Spark of Kindness

4 Inspiring Quotes

As you read in the cover article in this newsletter, many quotes can inspire us to be kind to others. Sharing and discussing quotes like these all motivate people to spread acts of kindness and encourage them to indulge in random acts of kindness themselves. To continue the spirit of kindness, here are four more kindness quotes to help inspire you. “Be kind, for everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” This quote, featured in the cover article, is a well-known phrase that has been repeated by many people. The origin of this quote is still debated to this day, though it is commonly thought to have come from the ancient Greek philosopher Plato. Regardless of its origin, however, this quote is still important for many people in both spreading kindness and empathy. “A true selfless act always sparks another.” Though Christmas is over, this quote from the Christmas movie “Klaus” resonates. This movie shows that one act of kindness can spread, turning a town from a dreary dark place to one of great cheer and love. It shows the impact of even the smallest kind deed. “Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life.” Despite having a difficult childhood, Jackie Chan did not let that hold him back from doing his best in life. Now, Chan is a well-known martial artist and actor. His accomplishments and his words inspire us. This quote is just one of the many from Chan that has motivated many others in the world to pursue their dreams and spread kindness. “Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day, someone might do the same for you.” In 2019, Prince Harry and the Duchess of Sussex were trying to encourage acts of kindness when they turned to this quote from Harry’s mother, Princess Diana. They shared this message on their official Instagram page, and within a few days had over 300,000 likes.

A Simple Way to Improve Your Day! The Calendar of ‘Things to Look Forward To’ Many families have faced disappointment in one way or another. Since early last year, countless activities and events have been canceled, and people had to skip many family vacations and get-togethers. Though it is a new year, it’s still going to be a while before normal activities and events will be scheduled, meaning there might not be a whole lot to look forward to, which can be disheartening. So, why not change that and give yourself and your family something to look forward to? A great way to improve your day — or week, month, or even year — is to write down things you’re excited about. In an article on Lifehacker.com, one mom talked about how she improved the overall mood of her family by creating a calendar of things to look forward to every week. In a post on Facebook, she wrote, “I wanted something for me and my kids to look forward to each day, so I posted a list to my fridge of the days of the week and one fun thing each day. (Like Taco Tuesday, Takeout Thursday, Dance Party Friday, Movie & Popcorn Sunday.)” It’s an idea anyone can easily implement. Create themed days (like game night or park day) or create a schedule of fun things. Write down when the next show or movie you’re interested in will be available to stream. You can do the same for a new book or video game that may be coming out and apply the concept to virtually anything. The important thing is that you write it down on a calendar so you can see it. When you or your family glance at the calendar and see what’s coming up, it elevates your mood and boosts your day. And the more things you’re looking forward to, the better!

With these quotes, our team at Bruce Law hopes to inspire acts of kindness throughout this month and the rest of the year.

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Give it a try and get everyone in the family involved. When you need a little extra joy in your life, this is an incredibly simple way to achieve it!

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3 Ways of Dealing With a Narcissist

SEE THROUGH THEM The first step in dealing with a narcissist is to see who and what they truly are. This can be difficult, as a narcissist can be very charming. Narcissists know how to manipulate someone to get what they want, and when they do, they can easily turn on the charm. To see through this, watch how they interact with the people around them and how they treat you when they’re not trying to put on a good show. To a narcissist, another person’s needs, wants, or feelings will not matter. MAKE A STAND A narcissist enjoys making people feel insecure and small while simultaneously boosting themselves. Remember, they are ego-driven. If you find yourself in a situation where someone is putting you down, even in a small way, speak up for yourself. When you make a stand calmly and gently and tell them it is wrong to treat you that way, you are letting them know you are not someone to be pushed around. THEY’LL PUSH BACK Most often, a narcissist will push back against anyone telling them that they are doing wrong — because they believe they can’t do wrong. If someone sets boundaries for the relationship, a narcissist may try to alter, ignore, or set boundaries of their own.When they do push back, stand your ground. Given an inch, and a narcissist will take a mile. One of the most important things to keep in mind when dealing with a narcissist is that you are not at fault for being hurt by something they did. If you are struggling to deal with a narcissist in your divorce, call our office. Our team is here to help.

When someone is struggling in a marriage, it can be made all the more difficult if their spouse is a narcissist. Narcissists are people who are not only self-centered but believe they are entitled to anything they want. In a situation in which a married couple is going through a divorce, a narcissist may do all they can to fight it. They will wholly believe that anything wrong in a relationship is not their fault. If you find yourself having to deal with a narcissist through a divorce, here are three ways to help.

Bruce Law TEAM

Butter and Herb Baked Oysters

Inspired by TheSpruceEats.com

Ingredients

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Rock salt or uncooked rice (to coat your baking sheet) 1 dozen fresh oysters, scrubbed and shucked 1 stick butter, softened and divided into 8 tbsp

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3/4 cup panko breadcrumbs 2 tbsp fresh chives, chopped

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1 tbsp lemon juice 1 tsp lemon zest

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Lemon wedges and chopped parsley for garnish

Directions

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In a small bowl, combine remaining butter, chives, lemon juice, and zest. Top each oyster with a teaspoon of chive mixture and a sprinkle of sautéed breadcrumbs. Bake for 8–10 minutes and serve garnished with lemon wedges and chopped parsley.

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Preheat oven to 425 F.

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On a rimmed baking sheet, spread out a layer of rock salt or uncooked rice. Arrange oysters on the baking sheet, meat side up. In a skillet over medium heat, melt half of the butter. Add breadcrumbs and sauté until brown.

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Members of Bruce Law Firm celebrating at their outdoor holiday lunch

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Be Kind This Valentine’s Day page 1

Improve Your Day With This Simple Life Hack Spreading the Spark of Kindness page 2 Narcissism: You Are Not to Blame Butter and Herb Baked Oysters page 3

A Tiny Dog Is Crowned the Biggest Hero page 4

Heroes Come in All Sizes

MacKenzie the Chihuahua Is One Big Hero

The American Humane Hero Dog Awards competition is an annual celebration that honors some of the world’s most extraordinary canines. The awards recognize dogs that have gone above and beyond the call of duty, whether it’s saving lives on the battlefield, comforting the ill or elderly, or demonstrating just how powerful the bond between humans and animals can be. Winners are crowned in several categories, but the “American Hero Dog” is the top winner selected by expert panelists and a popular vote. It most often goes to dogs who show astute bravery in what they do, and in 2020, that bravery came in a 4-pound package.

odds, her owners noticed her affinity for other animals — despite being tiny compared to many of them. That’s when they gave her a special job: caring for baby animals born with birth defects just like she was. Many of the rescue animals MacKenzie helps care for have medical problems that prohibit them from staying with their mothers, but MacKenzie takes a genuine interest in each baby from the moment they’re introduced, no matter its species or size. She plays nurse, cleans, and comforts them through their recovery, becoming a pseudo-mother that teaches them how to socialize and play. She’s nurtured countless puppies, kittens, birds, squirrels, mice, goats, and turkeys. Despite her tiny size, she’s even mothered a Great Dane. In addition to caring for rescued animals, MacKenzie also helps kids learn to be open- minded about both animals and people with physical differences or disabilities. The Chihuahua teaches the kids kindness and patience and shows them that no matter how small you might be, you can make a big difference. MacKenzie lost her ability to bark very early in life, but she has one of the loudest voices when it comes to speaking for disadvantaged animals. Heroism truly comes in all shapes, sizes, and forms, but MacKenzie demonstrates that the most heroic act of all is exuding compassion for others, no matter their circumstances.

MacKenzie the Chihuahua bested over 400 competitors to be selected as 2020’s American Hero Dog. Born seven years ago with a cleft palate and severe pneumonia that nearly took her life, MacKenzie fought hard to overcome her sickness and birth defects. Soon after she defied all

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