Bruce Law Firm - July 2021

Bruce Law Firm - July 2021

Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness

BREAKING FREE FROM UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

The Fourth of July fireworks, barbecues, and backyard get-togethers are fun annual summertime traditions. But the holiday also carries more meaning. The original American settlers who wanted autonomy and were willing to put their lives on the line to gain control of their fate from British rule set a tone that continues to influence U.S. culture today. Freedom is one of our highest ideals in this country. And in the Declaration of Independence, which the Fourth of July commemorates, the Founding Fathers famously wrote that we all have the right to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”When you really stop to think about that, it’s fascinating that happiness is mentioned alongside liberty and life. It’s easy to think of happiness as icing on the cake, not a fundamental right! But the truth is that happiness and freedom often go hand in hand. We see that with our clients all the time, and a friend’s recent story also illustrates this.

wife, and all the while, he felt more and more constrained by the relationship.

It’s so common for individuals in unhappy relationships to continue to go along with things, waiting for the right time to break free. Sometimes they don’t realize how much of their freedom and happiness they’re giving up by doing so. That was the case with our friend. When the couple finally decided to separate, our friend knew he wanted to move back home. He packed up a truck with all his belongings and hit the road. While the open road often conjures up images of freedom, this particular road trip was particularly profound. Our friend said as he drove home, that’s when he truly began to feel liberated. He had a sense of freedom and purpose, knowing he was

driving back to the right place and where his life was supposed to be. That newfound sense of freedom is what propelled him to reevaluate his life and how he wanted to spend his time. It gave him the energy to get back into playing tennis, to reignite his love of music, to get together with friends he’d been neglecting. While leaving a relationship can be daunting, we wanted to tell this story to remind you that freedom is on the other side. Many people experience a freeing feeling when they leave unhealthy relationships. New possibilities arise and you may even feel more expansive. We truly believe that everyone deserves to live their best life. As you’re watching fireworks this Fourth of July, think about whether or not you’re feeling free to live your best life. If you are living it, notice the gratitude you feel for that. And if you’re not living it, tune in to what you need to do to feel freer. If that means leaving a relationship, know we’re here to help and support you through the process.

Ruby feeling free watching fireworks and fireflies in Cherokee, NC

Our friend was in his second marriage, and he started to feel the weight of the relationship, which wasn’t working well. He sensed that he and his wife would

likely divorce, but like many couples, they stayed together well

“It’s so common for individuals in unhappy relationships to continue to go along with things, waiting for the right time to break free”

past this initial feeling. Among

other reasons, they were working on a promising business venture together. Our friend ended

– Ashley and Christopher Bruce

up moving out of state for his

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Responsibility, Choice, and Freedom Your Role in Creating the Life You Want In this month’s cover article, Ashley and Chris wrote about the freedom a friend of theirs felt after he finally made the decision to divorce his spouse and end an unhappy marriage. They also mentioned that many individuals struggle to make these big life choices. For those who are in an abusive or controlling relationship, this choice may feel even more difficult to make. The good news is that you do have the power to change your life.While the divorce process has many parts, coming to this realization may be the most important! To have the best divorce, you first need to accept that you are in control of your destiny and then use that knowledge to create the life you deserve. While it’s common to feel afraid of the unknown future without your spouse, many people feel empowered by taking responsibility for their situation and trusting in the knowledge that they can create a better situation for themselves. This is especially true for those who’ve been with abusive or narcissistic spouses who have degraded their self-esteem over time. If you’re in an unhappy marriage, but you still feel hope for your future with your spouse. This knowledge can be just as empowering. Instead of continuing to remain stuck in a rut, you need to do something different. Often this means reaching out for support, including help from a marriage counselor.We have some great resources on our sister page StayMarriedFlorida.com for those looking to improve their relationship and address the recurring challenges making them feel constrained or unhappy. Regardless of what you decide to do, the important thing is to remember that you are free to choose and create the life you want. This freedom, however, comes with the responsibility to own your situation and your role in it, get clear on what the best choice is for you, and use that knowledge to act. We’re here to help. In addition to the resources on StayMarriedFlorida.com for couples seeking to mend their marriage, you can also find resources BrucePA.com to learn more about the divorce process.

Want to Save Money and Improve Your Diet? Grow Your Own Sprouts! You’ve probably crunched down on a mouthful of bean sprouts in a sandwich or stir-fry, but those delicate white stalks are just one part of the massive, super- healthy sprout family. Almost any seed, bean, nut, or grain can be sprouted, including black beans, broccoli, sunflower seeds, and quinoa! Sprouts offer tons of health benefits, including essential vitamins and minerals, digestion-easing fiber, and age-fighting antioxidants. Sprouts will level up your diet, but they can be expensive and come in non- recyclable plastic containers. To get the benefits without the hit to the wallet or the planet, grow your own with this handy five-step guide.

1. Decide how many types of sprouts you’d like to grow. Then buy your seeds at a local garden center or online at TrueLeafMarket.com or SproutPeople.org.

2. Purchase a seed-sprouting jar kit OR a corresponding number of quart-sized glass canning jars, wide-mouthed canning rings, and stainless-steel sprouting screens (these will replace the metal jar lids). If you have jars and rings at home, use those and save another buck. 3. Add 3 tablespoons of sprouting seeds and 2 cups of water to the bottom of each clean jar. Screw on the lids and sprouting screens, then swirl the seeds, pour out the water, and replace it another 2–4 cups of water. Leave the jars on the counter to soak overnight. (These measurements may vary from seed to seed. Check your seed packaging or ask your local gardening store for guidance.) 4. In the morning, dump out the water and repeat Step 3. Then, place each jar upside down or at an angle (in a bowl or on a stand) and leave it there to fully drain. Toss your sprouts and start over if they start to smell rancid or turn brown.

Is your friend or client married to a controlling, manipulative, narcissistic husband?

5. Repeat Step 4 several times a day for 3–5 days, until your seeds sprout. Then, dry the sprouts and store them in the fridge.

OUR BOOKS CAN HELP!

When it’s time to eat your homegrown sprouts, be careful! Seeds can be contaminated with bacteria, so The Cleveland Clinic recommends boiling, roasting, or steaming your sprouts, just in case. To learn more about growing your own sprouts, pick up “The Sprout Book,” “The Sprouting Book,” or “Homegrown Sprouts” at your local library.

The book can be downloaded for FREE at www.divorceinformationbooks.com.

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July Is Purposeful Parenting Month

3 Tips to Approaching Parenting Purposefully

July is Purposeful Parenting Month, and it means we’ve made it past the midway point of the year! This a great time to check in on goals or intentions you set at the turn of the new year. When it comes to parenthood, it can be tempting to focus all our energy and attention outwardly on our children and family. But to parent with purpose, you also have to nurture yourself to ensure you’re able to be active and engaged with your children.

Here are three tips to help:

SET CLEAR EXPECTATIONS This tip applies to you and your children.When it comes to kids, having clear expectations and boundaries is an important way to foster good behavior and routines that help your day run more smoothly. As a parent, keeping reasonable expectations in mind for yourself — and remembering there’s no such thing as perfection! — will help you keep a positive attitude when things inevitably go awry. WORK TOWARD BALANCE It can be easy to spend so much time and energy parenting that you let your other roles slide. Take a page from your own parent playbook: You’d never want your child to neglect their friends, studies, family, or play time, and you shouldn’t neglect the important roles and activities in your own life, either. Remember that your career, friends and family, and hobbies help you stay balanced.

RELY ON THE VILLAGE There’s a reason the saying “It takes a village to raise a child” is so popular. Parenting is one of life’s greatest challenges and biggest joys. Share both with others by asking for the support you need. This is crucial to helping you maintain the balance and boundaries mentioned above. Take stock of the important people in your life and your child’s life, including other parents in your circle, teachers, medical professionals, and the friends and family you rely on. There is no stronger role model in a child’s life than their parent or caregiver. Approaching this role with purpose will help you and your child develop a strong relationship and give you both the tools you need to be safe, happy, and successful.

Have a LAUGH

Easy Zucchini Enchiladas

Inspired by Delish.com

Ingredients

• • • • • •

1 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, chopped

• • •

3 cups rotisserie chicken, shredded 1 1/3 cups red enchilada sauce, divided

2 cloves garlic, minced

4 large zucchini, sliced very thin lengthwise and dried

2 tsp cumin

2 tsp chili powder

• •

2 cups shredded cheese

Salt, to taste

Sour cream and cilantro, for garnish

Directions

of chicken mixture, then roll into a tube. Repeat with remaining zucchini slices.

1.

Preheat the oven to 350 F. In a large skillet, heat oil over medium heat. Add onion and cook, stirring for 5 minutes. Add garlic, cumin, chili powder, and salt. Cook for one minute, then add chicken and 1 cup enchilada sauce. Stir to combine. On a cutting board, lay out three slices of zucchini side by side. Top each with a scoop

4.

Add the rolls to a baking dish.

2.

5.

Top the rolls with the remaining enchilada sauce and cheese. Bake for 20 minutes. Top with garnishes!

3.

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Breaking Free From Unhealthy Relationships page 1

Save Money and Improve Your Diet by Growing Sprouts at Home Freedom Comes With Responsibility page 2

3 Tips to Approaching Parenting Purposefully Easy Zucchini Enchiladas page 3

An Olympic Medal — For Arts page 4

An Olympic Medal — For Arts

From 1912–1952, the Olympics awarded medals for arts and sculpture, though most people do not remember this. In 2012, the first book in English on the topic was published, “The Forgotten Olympic Art Competitions” by Richard Stanton. Stanton dug through decades-old, crumbling files that were packed away in Switzerland in order to uncover the origin of this forgotten Olympic tradition. Apparently, Baron Pierre de Coubertin, the founder of the International Olympic Committee (IOC) and the modern Olympic Games, saw art competitions as integral to his vision of the Olympics. Stanton told Smithsonian Magazine of Coubertin, “He was raised and educated classically, and he was particularly impressed with the idea of what it meant to be a true Olympian — someone who was not only athletic, but skilled in music and literature.” Coubertin thought that without the arts, it couldn’t be a true Olympic event. However, Coubertin had no luck convincing local organizers from Athens, St. Louis, or Paris that art competitions were necessary. At the 1912 Stockholm Games, Coubertin finally secured the Olympic fine art competitions. There were categories for architecture, music, painting, sculpture, and literature, but every work had to somehow be inspired by sports.

was awarded in every category. (Coubertin even won for his poem, “Ode to Sport”! He disguised it with a pseudonym.) As the Olympics exploded into a beloved international event, the fine arts competitions rarely caught people’s attention. Not all categories won gold

medals, if any at all. There were significant winners, however. John Russell Pope (the architect of the Jefferson Memorial) won a silver at the 1932 Los Angeles Games for his design of the Payne Whitney Gymnasium, constructed at Yale University. Other famous participants include Italian sculptor Rembrandt Bugatti, American illustrator Percy Crosby, Irish author Oliver St. John Gogarty, and Dutch painter Isaac Israëls. Even if the art competitions are not a part of the games anymore, they are fascinating to learn about! We’ll definitely think about them the next time the Olympics (finally) roll around.

Judges didn’t have to award gold medals if they were disappointed by all the submissions, but 1912 was a success. With 33 artists in participation, a gold medal

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