Bruce Law Firm - May 2022

Bruce Law Firm - May 2022

To Have and To Hold WHY I STILL BELIEVE IN LOVE

Bruce Law is like a family, so when I got married earlier this year, I was thrilled that the entire office attended the wedding. I consider my coworkers to be my closest friends, and I’m grateful they could come out for my special day and celebrate with us.

Palm Beach Gardens. I’d go every day to get coffee and breakfast, and we would see each other in passing and exchange pleasant words here or there. One day, I came out to my car and found a note on my windshield asking if I had any plans that weekend — and I completely ignored him! It wasn’t until I was going to work on Monday that I realized I was going to see this guy, and since I’d blown him off, it was going to be awkward. So, I texted him, and we started talking. And here we are eight years later! Jason and I got engaged in 2016 and planned our wedding for 2018, but a family tragedy forced us to postpone. Soon after, we got pregnant with our first child. Then the time wasn’t right because I got a new job, and then we were pregnant again. We pushed back the wedding so many times that we thought about a courthouse affair, but we ultimately decided that we wanted a traditional wedding experience. So, we finally tied the knot on February 19, 2022, with our children Andrew and Daniella acting as our ring bearer and flower girl. The wedding was outside on a golf course and rain threatened and ruined some hair, but ultimately we saw rain as good luck! Red roses, candles, fantastic food from my husband’s catering business, great music, and family and friends, all made the day memorable. A family law attorney getting married might seem a little strange to some people. After all, I spend a large portion of my working hours helping people get divorced. It would be easy, people imagine, to become cynical about marriage. They wonder how I can still believe in love after witnessing so much heartbreak.

I met Jason in 2014 when I was working at a law firm located close to my husband’s restaurant in

The truth is that I try to separate my life from those lives that I am helping. I have learned a lot from my clients over the years about creating a healthy marriage, and I’ve identified some pitfalls I want to avoid. Knowing how many relationships rupture will hopefully help us remain connected and happy. Most of all, I’ve learned that communication is the foundation of any marriage. I frequently speak to clients who had unspoken expectations they never discussed with their spouses. Resentment and contempt eat away at a relationship. No one can give you what you want if you’re unwilling to say what it is. Speak up! Often, the problems start small, but they go unaddressed and build over the years until the relationship becomes unsalvageable.

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The Blame Game When Kids Are Angry About a Divorce “You ruined my life!” If you’re a parent, you’ll probably hear your child shout those words at you someday. It’s a hard thing to hear, especially when you’re only trying to do what’s best for them. But it’s even worse when their anger stems from a divorce. Divorced parents often feel guilty at the best of times. So, how do you handle it when your kid directly expresses their resentment? There are few opportunities riper for self-reflection than a divorce, so it’s first worth examining your behavior. If you had an affair, blew the family’s money with irresponsible spending, or fractured the relationship with an addiction, your child’s blame might be well-founded. In these cases, the best thing you can do is sincerely apologize for your actions and explain what you’re doing so you don’t repeat your mistakes. Next, you should look at the energy you’re bringing to your children. If you seem angry about the divorce, they’ll probably mirror your emotions. Do you bad-mouth your ex, complain about how they spend money, or regularly gripe about your reduced standard of living? If so, you’re making matters worse. Model resilience and show your kids how to survive hard times with grace. Regardless of your level of fault, never minimize your child’s emotions about the divorce. You may feel they’re better off in the long run, but if they don’t feel that way too, you can’t talk them out of it. Don’t apologize for your choices, but do acknowledge and own them. And don’t try to tell your kid that they’re wrong about what they feel. Shifting the blame also won’t help — even if you’re right and it was all your ex’s fault. It’s common for the child to blame the parent who makes them feel safest. If their other parent is unreliable, they’re more likely to lash out at the one whose love they know is unconditional. Even if it hurts, they need your continued understanding and support to provide stability. Ultimately, time is the great healer. Most kids eventually move on, and if you navigate these complicated emotions with understanding and honesty, your family will come out stronger on the other side. Instead of taking the blame personally, remain compassionate and curious about what your child is feeling. It’s the only way to work through the matter effectively together.

The Art of Quieting Your Mind Before Bed All day long, thoughts run through your mind, and by the end of the day, your head is probably ready to explode. After all, it’s estimated that in 24 hours you can have between 60,000–80,000 thoughts. At some point, your brain needs a break, and that’s especially true before you try to go to bed. Here are some ways to quiet your mind, so you can get a full night’s sleep! Keep your bed for sleeping. If you aren’t sleeping, get out of bed! Getting in the habit of scrolling through your phone, watching TV, reading, working, or even eating in bed teaches your brain that your bed is for things other than sleeping! If you find yourself tossing and turning, get out of bed and try a relaxing activity such as reading, journaling, listening to music, or meditating. When you get tired, try getting back in bed. Breathe deeply. Breathing exercises can not only help calm your mind and spirit, but they can lower your heart rate, which is especially beneficial in relieving stress or anxiety when things are upsetting you. Write it down . Instead of letting thoughts fill your mind right before bed (such as the next day’s tasks or any worries you have), set aside time before bed to write it out. Whether you are a fan of journaling, writing letters, or simply just listing out your problems, goals, and thoughts, grab a pen and paper and make it a nightly routine. This way, your thoughts will be freed before your head hits the pillow. Try a light snack. When you can’t sleep, the last thing that you want to do is eat something heavy. In fact, when you eat a large meal right before bed, your digestive system can become overwhelmed. But, studies have shown that eating a light carbohydrate snack such as crackers or popcorn when you can’t sleep may be helpful. Turn your room into a sleep haven. Keeping your bedroom neat, relaxing, and calm can help improve your sleep! Keep all televisions, computers, and screens out of the bedroom and furnish it with soft colors and textures that are tranquil and soothing to you. Pumping the brakes on worrisome thoughts racing through your mind can be tough, but trying these tips and tricks may earn you some relief and much needed sleep.

Is your friend or client married to a controlling, manipulative, narcissistic husband?

OUR BOOKS CAN HELP!

The book can be downloaded for FREE at DivorceInformationBooks.com.

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When the World Revolves Around Your Ex Tips for Divorcing a Narcissist

Narcissists never do anything wrong — at least, in their own minds. So, if you’ve started divorce proceedings against one, be prepared to fight. They certainly will, every step of the way. It’s their last-ditch attempt to maintain control over you, and giving in will only encourage them to push further. Everything is a game to a narcissist, and there’s nothing worse to them than losing. To “win” the divorce, they’re likely to extend their manipulative behavior by responding vindictively and trying to turn others against you. Narcissists are experts at baiting other people into lashing out. When they succeed, their victim ends up looking like the irrational and difficult one. That’s why we encourage our clients to eliminate any unnecessary communication with their narcissistic spouses. Leave the arguing to your lawyer. If you do need to communicate — for example, to coordinate your parenting schedule — don’t get dragged into debates or end up discussing your legal case. Many narcissists will attempt to

manipulate their ex into delaying the divorce proceedings. If they succeed, they won’t stop. Even when their requests sound reasonable, don’t give an inch because a narcissist will take a mile.

Many narcissists will also resort to threats, especially when they feel like they’re losing control. They can range from frightening to absurd. Though most threats are idle boasts, always document them, notify your lawyer, and contact the police if the threats become physical. Speaking of last-ditch efforts, a narcissist may also try to regain control by “love bombing” their ex. Even if you want to believe it’s true, your ex has not changed or become a better partner. Ignore their lies and stay away. Some narcissists will also threaten self-harm. While we take mental health issues seriously, narcissists will often weaponize a person’s compassion to gain an advantage or stall the case — anything they can do to win. A narcissist is unlikely to agree to mediation, and if they did, we’d probably advise against it. You also don’t want to face their wrath alone. Hire a divorce attorney who is well-versed in their underhanded tactics and knows how to combat them. Bruce Law Firm has years of experience with narcissistic spouses. We’ll be glad to review your case and help you get out from under their thumb once and for all.

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Mother’s Day Brunch Rainbow Frittata

And as important as it is to voice your own needs, it’s just as imperative to listen. So many divorcing people come into my office and tell me, “I feel like I’m talking into thin air.” Taking the time to hear your partner can make all the difference. You might not always see eye to eye, but you can’t resolve a problem unless you understand your spouse’s point of view. But if you are trying to listen, communicate, have empathy, and overall be a good partner, and your spouse is not responsive, then you should seriously consider your life and whether you are happy. I’d urge people to not rush into a status change until they’re sure it’s what’s right for them. I didn’t intend to wait so long to get married, but waiting ultimately helped me realize that marriage is what I genuinely wanted. The same rings true for a divorce, make sure you think about whether that path is truly right for you. And so before you walk down the aisle, or move forward with a divorce, think about what marriage means to you and be confident that you’re ready for whatever path you take. Know that whatever path you take and decision you make, is yours.

Inspired by EatingWell.com

Ingredients

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Nonstick cooking spray 1/4 cup sweet potato, diced 1/4 cup yellow pepper, diced 1/4 cup broccoli, chopped

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Basil, thyme, salt, and pepper, to taste 1/2 avocado, pitted, peeled, and thinly sliced

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Cherry tomatoes, halved Sriracha hot sauce (optional)

8 eggs

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 F and coat a cast-iron skillet with nonstick cooking spray. 2. In the skillet, cook sweet potatoes, yellow pepper, and broccoli over medium heat until soft. 3. In a medium bowl, whisk together eggs, basil, thyme, salt, and pepper. 4. Pour egg mixture into skillet with vegetables. Don’t stir but instead use a spatula to lift the edges of the egg mixture until it is evenly distributed. 5. Transfer mixture to oven. Bake for 5 minutes or until the dish sets. 6. Top with avocado and tomatoes. Drizzle Sriracha on top (if desired).

Wishing you much love and happiness,

–Attorney Sarina Sabatino

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PRST STD US POSTAGE PAID BOISE, ID PERMIT 411

1601 Forum Pl. Ste. 1101 West Palm Beach, FL 33401

Our Attorney Sarina Celebrates Her Wedding page 1 5 Solutions for Quality Sleep When Your Child Blames You for a Divorce page 2 When You Divorce a Narcissist Mother’s Day Brunch Rainbow Frittata page 3 Things to Never Put in Your Dishwasher page 4

And Remove These 5 No-Nos

Step Away From the Dishwasher!

China or Crystal If you deeply care about an item in your kitchen, a rule of thumb is to wash it yourself. China and crystal are delicate and prone to chipping under normal dishwashing conditions. They might also turn dull or cloudy. And never run anything that’s been hand-painted through the dishwasher — unless you really hate the paint. Plastic Measuring Cups and Spoons Putting your measuring cups and spoons in the dishwasher probably won’t melt or ruin the plastic — but it will likely wear off the little printed measurements! You measure for a reason, but there’s little point in having measuring cups if you can’t even read the numbers anymore. Though it might take a little bit more time to wash these items by hand, the safety of your dinnerware and flatware is worth the extra effort. It’s the only surefire way to keep the things you really care about in top condition so you can enjoy them for years to come.

Dishwashers can be lifesavers. They’re incredibly convenient, and they even use less water than washing dishes by hand. But as essential as this appliance is, there are some no-nos involved. If you put any of the below items in your dishwasher, you should stop now! Wood If you’ve ever put a wooden spoon (or bowl or cutting board) in the dishwasher, you’re not alone. But the hot water can warp the wood, and the detergent can damage or scratch the finish. The heat from the drying cycle can even cause it to crack. Instead, wash wooden items by hand using warm, soapy water. Nonstick Pots and Pans If you bought nonstick pots and pans, you probably don’t want them to stick. But they will if the nonstick coating wears off, which often happens through a combination of high heat, water pressure, and strong detergent. Help your nonstick cookware look new by keeping it out of the dishwasher. Sharp Knives Have you ever found a spot of rust on one of your knives or noticed a handle coming loose? Yep, that’s from the dishwasher. Keep running your butter knives through the regular cycle, but hold back on fancy steak knives and other similar blades. The dishwasher can cause all of these issues and even dull the sharp edges of your knives.

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