Bruce Law Firm - November 2020

Bruce Law Firm - November 2020

HOLIDAYS SPENT SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE Gratitude or Dread?

With Thanksgiving and the holiday season nearly upon us, we should take a moment to ponder what our lives with the usual people around us look like this year and consider how our lives could look completely different this time next year.

Our life is pretty good. We have two lovely children, all our parents are still healthy and alive, and we are blessed in other areas of our life. However, we also often think about what could happen in the blink of an eye. A chair at the dinner table filled this year could be empty the next. The loss of a job or income may prevent someone from attending a traditional Thanksgiving feast or even prevent the family from having the dinner altogether. Health issues might not allow families to come together, and for many people, some of those chairs are already empty with the loss of loved ones. A million things could happen that would make next year very different. Yes, the beginning of this article began a bit dreary: Those around us may not be the same people around us next year. If this brings fear to your mind, then be thankful. You are obviously surrounded by people you love and who love you. But for others, sometimes for our clients, they are elated at this thought. The thought of being with different people next year at the dinner table brings a hidden smile to their face. Imagine being with a spouse and surrounded by a spouse’s family whom you cannot stand to be around. Imagine wanting to break free. Some of our clients wait until after the holidays to make that change. They think moving forward with a separation or divorce will disrupt the holidays, so they wait until the “right time.” They tell themselves they will wait until after the holidays, and then they will make the move. Sadly, sometimes they never make that move because that right time never arrives. After Thanksgiving and winter break, we have Valentine’s Day, then birthdays, pretty spring flowers, summer vacations, and then here come the holidays with the same predicament all over again. The point is that if you or someone you know wants to make a change, there is never a “good” time for this decision. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself sitting around another holiday table with a spouse or people you don’t enjoy. It’s time to surround yourself with those whom you love and those who love you. When you look around the Thanksgiving dinner table (whether it be virtual or in person), think about each person in each seat, how you appreciate them, and how things can change in the blink of an eye. Be thankful for those people in your life. Be thankful they are with you at such a special time of the year and truly enjoy their presence. But if you or someone you know does not have that feeling of love and gratitude, then maybe it is the right time to make a change.

Grateful for each other

Russell and Ruby are grateful for pumpkins

– Ashley Bruce 561-810-0170 • 1

Everyone Deserves a Happy Future

Divorcing a Controlling Spouse

Sometimes, making life decisions for a happier and more fulfilling life includes filing for divorce. For people married to a controlling spouse, this option is usually the only way they can find happiness, health, and freedom. Divorcing a controlling, narcissistic spouse can be a difficult process. Whether the controlling spouse learns their partner wishes for a divorce, or they initiate the divorce themselves, they may use all their manipulation tactics to get their way. This can include getting a larger sum of money, any and all property, child custody, and other assets involved. A controlling spouse may also try to bully or harass their spouse at any sign of resistance, hoping they will cave to their demands.

Bored on Thanksgiving? Plan a Movie Marathon!

They key to this situation is the response of the controlling individual’s spouse.

Once a divorce is underway, it’s crucial to understand that — no matter who initiated it — the victim of the relationship needs to step away from any previous role they had in that relationship. This is the time to break away from that control by setting boundaries in a firm and kind way. The controlling spouse needs to understand that, under no uncertain terms, their partner will no longer be controlled. An important step is to minimize the communication between both parties. In an attempt to make their partner falter, a controlling spouse may try to assert their dominance through a number of tactics. These include making legal correspondence a challenge, hiring a “shark” attorney who makes negotiation impossible, and sending dozens of texts, calls, and emails. One way to counter this is to consider getting a judge to order a court- approved messaging system, which can deter any unfriendly contact. However, the best form of protection is to get in touch with an experienced divorce attorney. Our team at Bruce Law knows that divorcing a controlling spouse won’t be easy. We are here to facilitate communication with all parties involved to ensure a brighter future for these victims. Starting on a new path toward a happier future is only a decision away, and no one must take that path alone. Our attorneys can help with every step.

After a giant Thanksgiving meal, it can be tempting to sink down onto the couch and never get up — so embrace it! This Thanksgiving, try planning a family movie night to enjoy while the turkey settles. Movie nights are about as low maintenance as family hangouts can get. According to Elle magazine, actress Angelina Jolie credits family flick marathons for helping her survive quarantine with six kids at home. Her secrets to success are comfortable clothes like pajamas and robes, along with plenty of movie snacks. This Thanksgiving, plan your marathon around these holiday-themed films. 1. ‘Free Birds’ — This hilarious 2013 animated film stars Owen Wilson and Woody Harrelson as turkeys who have escaped the Thanksgiving table. Together, they go on a mission back in time to break up the first Thanksgiving and get turkey off the menu for good. 2. ‘A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving’ — This old-school television special from 1973 is a Thanksgiving classic. In it, Charlie Brown and Snoopy navigate football, an ever-growing Thanksgiving guest list, and a backyard feast of junk food. 3. ‘Garfield’s Thanksgiving’ — Everyone loves Garfield, and this 1989 television special starring Jon, Odie, and the fat cat himself is another Thanksgiving mainstay. The vet puts Garfield on a diet at the worst possible time: right before Thanksgiving. 4. ‘An Old-Fashioned Thanksgiving’ — This 2008 period drama is based on a short story by Louisa May Alcott and tells the tale of an estranged family who find themselves back together just in time for the holidays. It’s historical, heartwarming, and fit for all ages. 5. ‘A Family Thanksgiving’ — This Hallmark comedy is a funny combination of “A Christmas Carol” and “17 Again.” A high-powered lawyer is transported to an alternate universe and gets a look at what her holiday life could have been like if she’d made different choices.

Is your friend or client in need of a guide related to recent job or income loss? The book can be downloaded for FREE at SupportModificationBook.com. If your friend or client lives in the South Florida area, we’ll mail them a hard copy of the book upon request. OUR SUPPORT MODIFICATION BOOK CAN HELP!

With these five films on your watch list, you won’t need any other Thanksgiving entertainment!

2 • BrucePA.com

Focus on the Positive Over the Negative

Practicing Gratitude

Being grateful is an important part of our lives, and Thanksgiving serves as a great reminder to express that thanks. Even in the most difficult times, we can find things we’re grateful for to help get us through those challenges. Looking for something to be grateful for, however, can be hard at times. Here are a few ways to find and focus on the good things in life.

accomplished a goal, it’s okay to reward yourself with something small or even write yourself a thank-you note. Maintaining a consistent sleep schedule and eating healthy are also things you should thank yourself for, as you’ve set these healthy habits into your daily routine. Acknowledging what we do right helps us mentally and physically.

KEEP A JOURNAL One of the best ways to fit gratitude into our lives is to keep a journal. Set 5–10 minutes aside to write down things you were grateful for that day. This could be as small as brewing a particularly good cup of coffee that morning or as large as celebrating a promotion — and anything in between. By writing these things down, you’re giving yourself time to focus on the positive rather than the negative. What’s more, if you’re having a rough day, rereading the things you’re grateful for in your journal can help lift your spirits.

APPRECIATE THE GOOD TIMES Things move very quickly these days. Thanks to technology, news travels quickly and trends change in the blink of an eye. We can also travel from place to place faster than ever, which means it’s hard to slow down. Sometimes, we can feel guilty because we think we need to constantly be doing something. However, slowing down at times is crucial in our lives, especially when something good happens. If you feel happy about something, stop and soak in the feeling. Focus on what you’re doing and what you feel in that moment, even for a few minutes, before moving on.

THANK YOURSELF When we focus on “being grateful,” it’s easy to focus on things we’ve received, but it’s also important to remember ourselves. For example, if you

Expressing gratitude and feeling thankful are great to incorporate into our lives; they give us the chance to focus on the good and uplift our spirits.

Have a LAUGH

Cinnamon-Spiced Candied Sweet Potatoes These candied sweet potatoes will make your family beg for more!

Inspired by FoodAndWine.com

Ingredients

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4 lbs orange-fleshed sweet potatoes, peeled and cut crosswise into 2-inch pieces, then cut lengthwise into 1-inch wedges 1 cup light brown sugar, packed

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1 tbsp kosher salt

1/4 tsp ground cloves

1/4 cup unsalted butter, cubed 4 (2-inch) cinnamon sticks

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Directions

5.

Bake, turning every 15 minutes, until sweet potatoes are tender and the liquid is syrupy, about 1 hour and 15 minutes. Remove from the oven and let stand for 10 minutes.

1.

Preheat oven to 350 F.

2.

Place sweet potato wedges in a 4-quart baking dish. Sprinkle sugar, salt, and cloves over sweet potatoes. Dot with butter and place cinnamon sticks around sweet potatoes.

6.

3.

7.

Discard cinnamon sticks and serve.

4.

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A Decision for Change: It’s Never the ‘Right Time’ page 1 5 Thanksgiving Movies for the Whole Family Everyone Deserves a Happy Future page 2 Focus on the Good Moments in Life Cinnamon-Spiced Candied Sweet Potatoes page 3

Clear Your Mind in a Different Way page 4

Meditation Alternatives For People Who Don’t Like to Meditate

Meditation is lauded for its health benefits and is often suggested as an effective way to clear the mind, organize thoughts, and reduce stress. Realistically, however, it’s not for everyone. In fact, some people don’t experience any benefits at all from meditating.

Exercising outdoors or in nature — especially in new places — enhances these benefits. Because your surroundings are going to be unfamiliar, your mind is more focused, which can help if you’re searching for clarity. Stay mentally engaged. Many people achieve clarity, focus, and stress reduction through simple but engaging tasks, such as immersing themselves in an adult coloring book, doing brain teasers, or assembling LEGO sets, which proves they can be effective therapeutic tools or alternatives to meditation. The LEGO Company has actually been developing more products for adults with this sort of research in mind. But why LEGO products specifically? In addition to being objects you touch and push together, LEGO products come with clear, step-by-step instructions, which make them easy to put together and allow you to focus more on the task at hand. Even if you don’t complete the piece in one sitting, working on a project a few minutes a day can be a beneficial way to find a little clarity.

In a recent study published in New Scientist about the effectiveness of meditation, researchers confirmed that some people do not benefit from meditation and that about 8% of people who try meditation experience an “unwanted effect,” such as an increase in anxiety. If you’re not interested in meditation, or it just doesn’t work for you, here are some alternative ways to clear your mind and reduce stress. Get serious about physical activity . Aerobic exercises — like walking, jogging, running, cycling, and swimming — are great for clearing your mind and getting

your body moving. Really, any exercise that gets the heart pumping and increases your respiratory rate will do. Research supports that aerobic exercise is a great alternative to meditation that yields many of the same benefits.

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