Bruce Law Firm - September 2021

Bruce Law Firm - September 2021

A Grandparent’s Love

SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE

Every parent knows it truly does take a village to raise a child, and in many cases, the best “villagers” to step up are grandparents. Sept. 8 is Grandparents Day, so we wanted to take a moment to honor our own parents, who make a difference in the lives of their grandchildren every day. Grandparents can be like parents, in the sense that they often have extraordinary influence over children.We know that’s the case with our kids, Ruby and Russell, who spend several hours every week with their grandparents.We know the kids are just a mile or so away on several days, so Nana and G-pa (their name for their stepfather) teach the kids skills every day, like gardening, fishing, and being nice to animals. They especially like to encourage Russell in his love of electronics with radio-controlled toys. (Who knows, maybe one day he’ll be a rocket scientist!)

Beach Gardens, the kids enjoy playing on the family fishing boat, catching sailfish, and having pizza parties.

In their role as grandparents, our parents have proven invaluable to us in our relationship with each other as well. About once or twice a week, they take the kids and give us a chance to work late or enjoy a date night to recharge and reconnect. Knowing they’re in good hands with people they love gives us peace of mind, allowing us to truly relax and show up as our best for the kids the next day. We love that other people, with different parenting styles than us, are meaningfully involved in their lives. School pickup is possibly the area where they help the most. Right now, there is no aftercare for one of our children, and so a constant conundrum for parents like us is how to work and also ensure their child is picked up at 2 p.m. every day. If you think about it, that is right in the middle of our work day! And what if a child is sick and needs to come home early?We can’t always drop everything to go get the kids, but our parents, especially Ashley’s mom, are able to pick up the slack, for which we’re very grateful. Because grandparents are so important to a child’s life, it’s unfortunate that in Florida, grandparents don’t have custody rights except in the most extreme circumstances. If one parent dies, the surviving grandparents have no way of petitioning for visitation rights (absent abuse, abandonment, neglect). The same is true if a grandparent and parent become estranged from each other, leaving the grandparent no access to their grandchildren. These laws should change, and barring any history of neglect, grandparents’ rights should be recognized.We should note that grandparent visitation can be enforced in Florida if a visitation court order is valid in another state that entered the order. We would not be as successful as we are today without the help of the grandparents who nurture our kids regularly.We also know that Russell and Ruby would be missing out on a great deal if they didn’t have these relationships in their lives. Their grandparents are helping them become better, more well-rounded people.We are so thankful to them, today and every day. This Grandparents Day, make sure to show an appreciation for the grandparents in your life, who have nurtured you, supported you, and made your life or your children’s lives better.

One grandfather lives in Delray but is also heavily involved. Just last week, he read to both kids for over an hour. The kids love to go spend the night at his house, and Grandpa always makes sure to keep them busy. He takes them to the pool, tennis, the playground, kayaking — you name it, they’re doing something active.

When they are with their grandparents who live a little further north in Palm

– Ashley & Christopher Bruce

561-810-0170 • 1

Doing It for the Children

Want to Try Minimalism?

3 Simple Co-Parenting Tips

After finalizing a divorce, it’s normal to feel relieved. But if you and your ex- spouse have children, that relief doesn’t always last long.

Even for people who divorced amicably, co-parenting can be difficult. It’s hard to keep up with schedules, agree on expenses, and make a child feel comfortable in two different homes. If the divorce was acrimonious, these challenges are magnified, and co-parenting relationships can easily turn bitter and nonproductive. No matter how you feel about your ex, it’s important to keep your focus on the kid(s) and make all decisions with their best interests in mind. This can be harder than it sounds, so here are three simple tips to get you started. STICK TO YOUR COMMITMENTS. Kids need structure, and that means not changing plans regularly or at the last minute. Barring emergencies, keep to your custody schedule and don’t ask your ex to pick up responsibilities you’ve committed to. This has the benefit of not only keeping things consistent for the kids but also building up goodwill with your ex for the next time you have a disagreement or need a favor. DON’T BAD-MOUTH EACH OTHER. Unless there is a history of abuse (which should have come out in the divorce proceedings), none of your opinions or feelings about your ex should be discussed with your child. Saying negative things about the other parent can make a child feel alienated and like they have to choose sides. Further, children regularly exposed to parental conflicts can feel burdened. For the child’s benefit, stay positive to neutral when discussing their other parent. DON’T KEEP SECRETS. Never ask your kid to keep secrets from their other parent. It’s not fair to the child, and like bad-mouthing, it can make them feel like they have to choose sides. Further, if secret-keeping is normalized, you may be left in the dark in the event that something really bad happens. Whenever something major is going on that affects your child, tell your ex directly. If you or someone you know is experiencing significant challenges with co- parenting, an attorney may be able to help. While courts will not get involved in most parental disagreements, major issues could be grounds for a change in the custody agreement. Call Bruce Law Firm today for help determining if you have a case.

7 Resources to Help You Get Started

Before they separated, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West owned one of the most extreme minimalist homes in Hollywood. One bright white room held nothing but a massive plush “sculpture” by Isabel Rower. In Architectural Digest’s photos, it looks like a giant octopus made out of pillows, and the six Kardashian-Wests climbing around on it appear straight out of a sci-fi novel. The Kardashian-West’s extreme minimalism is a symptom of a larger aesthetic trend that caught fire during the pandemic when people stuck in their homes realized they’d prefer to spend time in calm, clutter-free spaces with neutral colors and clean lines. If minimalism has intrigued you and you want to learn more about the decor trend and lifestyle, here are a few places to get started. Books • “The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life” by Joshua Becker — This book will take you through the process of simplifying and decluttering your home (and life!) room by room. • “Minimalism for Families: Practical Minimalist Living Strategies to Simplify Your Home and Life” by Zoë Kim — This light read teaches the benefits of minimalism and explains how to get the whole family on board. Documentaries • “Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things” and “The Minimalists: Less Is Now” on Netflix — “Minimalism” and its follow-up explore the minimalist journeys of two people who discovered minimalism as adults and now share its lessons with others. • “Thrive With Less” on Vimeo — This one-hour documentary follows six students who undertake the challenges of minimalism to find satisfaction in their lives. (Vimeo.com/ThriveWithLess) YouTube Channels • CKSPACE — If you want to learn more about celebrity minimalism, digital minimalism, or decluttering, this channel has you covered with its beautifully filmed videos. • A Small Wardrobe — This channel, run by a former Australian art teacher, is geared toward women and offers minimalist home, wardrobe, and lifestyle advice. • Matt D’Avella — Matt D’Avella’s famous video “A Day in the Life of a Minimalist” has more than 17 million views on YouTube. On his “Minimalism” playlist, you’ll find minimalist home and habit videos, along with mindset and productivity tips.

Is your friend or client married to a controlling, manipulative, narcissistic husband?

OUR BOOKS CAN HELP!

The book can be downloaded for FREE at DivorceInformationBooks.com.

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Gaslighting: You’ve Heard the Term

But What Does It Really Mean?

In the past five years or so, the term “gaslighting” started appearing everywhere. In fact, gaslighting has taken on so much prominence that its meaning has become muddled and diluted.

titular gaslight and insists the flickering is in her imagination. It makes for a thrilling movie but a profoundly distressing experience in real life.

Gaslighters start slow and build up the abuse gradually over time. They will frequently tell obvious lies or strenuously deny they did or said something despite clear evidence. Gaslighters often project their shortcomings onto their victims to protect their own image. If a gaslighter is a serial cheater or alcoholic, they’ll not only deny it but also accuse their victim of the same thing. Gaslighters will make subtle comments to the victim’s friends and family under the guise of worry, undermining the victim’s credibility and setting the stage for them to be seen as “crazy” and untrustworthy. To the victim, they’ll repeatedly claim that others back them up and know the victim is unstable. As a result, victims will become isolated, self-doubting, and vulnerable to even more extreme abuse. If someone you know is showing signs of being gaslighted by a spouse, they need help. Abusers don’t give up, so divorce is usually the only way to escape a controlling partner. Bruce Law Firm has experience representing victims of controlling spouses and helping them to leave their relationships as safely as possible. Don’t wait — encourage them to visit BrucePA.com today to access free resources or schedule a consultation.

Gaslighting is not just lying about or making excuses for bad behaviors. It’s actually an intense pattern of control and emotional abuse that causes the victim to question their own sanity and perception of reality. A gaslighting victim will start to believe their abuser’s version

of events, even if they witnessed something different with their own eyes. They’ll become disoriented and anxious, stuck in a constant pattern of questioning their own perceptions and instincts. The term gaslighting comes from the 1944 movie “Gaslight,” directed by George Cukor. In the film, a man convinces his wife that she’s going insane through careful and persistent manipulation — in one famous instance, he repeatedly dims the house’s

Bruce Law TEAM

Herbed Sweet Pup-tato Fries

Inspired by Food.com and GoodPetFoodKitchen.com.au

Many herbs in your late summer garden are beneficial for your dog’s health. These easy sweet potato fries are the perfect vessel to deliver those benefits to your canine friend.

Ingredients

• 1 yam or sweet potato, plus your choice of dog-safe spice combination Spice Combinations Italian-Inspired Blend to HelpWith Pet Arthritis • 1 tsp dried or 1 tbsp fresh basil, finely chopped • 1 tsp dried or 1 tbsp fresh oregano, finely chopped Warming Blend to Help Regulate Blood Sugar and Improve Dental Health • 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon • 1/4 tsp ground coriander

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 250 F and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. 2. Cut yam or sweet potato into fries by slicing it lengthwise into 1/3-inch slabs. Then, slice each slab lengthwise into 1/3-inch rectangles. 3. Place fries onto the baking sheet in a single, well-spaced layer. Sprinkle your herbs of choice on top. 4. Bake for 3 hours. Let cool, then serve as a treat to your pup. 561-810-0170 • 3

Bruce Law Firm attorneys at a family law ethics event

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Celebrating Grandparents Day page 1 7 Ways to Learn All About Minimalism Simple Co-Parenting Tips page 2 Understanding and Identifying Gaslighting Herbed Sweet Pup-tato Fries page 3 How McDonald’s Spun the ‘Hot Coffee Lawsuit’ ! page 4

Remember the ‘McDonald’s Hot Coffee’ Lawsuit? It Was Justified All Along

Back in 1992, an elderly woman named Stella Liebeck sued McDonald’s in what became known as the infamous “hot coffee lawsuit.” The public relations team at McDonald’s has made sure the case is remembered as frivolous, but, like the third-degree burns Stella Liebeck suffered from a cup of McDonald’s coffee, her lawsuit was dead serious. The facts were simple: Mrs. Liebeck used the drive-thru with her grandson, who was at the wheel. Once the car stopped moving, she placed the cup of coffee she’d just ordered between her legs and tried to add some creamer. The cup tipped over, dumping the contents into her lap, causing third-degree burns over 16% of her body. She required hospitalization for eight days.Whirlpool debridement of the burns and skin grafts followed. She was at least partially disabled for more than two years, and that’s to say nothing of her pain and suffering.

When McDonald’s refused to pay more than $800, the case went to court, and it came out that they’d known for at least 10 years about the dangers their hot coffee represented, with over 700 recorded burns and several lawsuits. But in 1992, their policy was to store coffee at 180–190 degrees F, which is almost the boiling point! Furthermore, McDonald’s higher- ups testified on the stand that no matter what happened, they had no intention of changing their behavior. Unsurprisingly, at the end of the trial, McDonald’s was hit with a $2.9 million penalty. Although the penalty was later reduced, McDonald’s still dragged Mrs. Liebeck’s name through the mud in the press, with their version of the story being the one that stuck in the public consciousness. But it wouldn’t change the fact that they had to pay her around $700,000 at the end of the day — or that their coffee is now being served at a reasonable temperature.

For all of this damage, Mrs. Liebeck asked McDonald’s for $20,000 — arguably not even enough to pay her hospital bills.

4 • BrucePA.com