Florida Women's Law Group - April 2022

Florida Women's Law Group - April 2022

the

WOMEN’S

Advocate

April 2022

My Brief Foray Into Marathons IN THE RUNNING

Every year, runners f lock from all over the country to attend the world’s longest-running annual marathon in Boston. The Boston Marathon dates back to 1897 and serves as an inspiration and an aspiration for athletes everywhere. It’s a bit of a stretch to say that I was ever a runner; I was more of a jogger. But back in 2008, I did train for and run a marathon. It was the first year of the DONNA Marathon for breast cancer research, and a friend asked me to sign up with her. For whatever reason, I agreed. It was something I’d never done before — so, why not? The training was brutal. I remember getting up at 5 a.m. to go for long runs. I’d have trouble falling asleep the night before because I was already so stressed out about getting up early. My friend and I joined a training group that followed the Galloway Method — also known as Run-Walk-Run. Having time to slow down and catch my breath helped, and as a mom with two young kids at home, it gave me an opportunity for some adult socializing.

There’s a small part of me — a very small one — that thinks it would be interesting to try it all again, with all of the personal growth I’ve undergone in the past 14 years. I realize now that I wasn’t training in all aspects of my life. If I were attempting a redo, I would work with a nutritionist to ensure I was eating the right foods to fuel my training. I would also engage in the mental work needed to provide myself with the discipline to persevere in the face of adversity. I also think I wasn’t participating for the right reasons. Mostly, it was just something to do. When you have an actual goal in mind, it creates a more

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sustainable motivation to succeed. If you’re going to attempt something ambitious, it’s helpful to have a good reason why. But I still think there’s something to be said for taking up a difficult challenge — it’s a great way

But I can’t say I ever loved it. My friend was great at encouraging me, and I enjoyed getting regular exercise, but running itself didn’t inspire passion.

“There’s nothing quite like pushing your body to the limit and finding out what it can do.”

There’s a reason, after all, that I don’t run anymore. I was never going to be an ultramarathoner, though I do understand the appeal — you work for something and essentially take a test at the end to prove your accomplishment. My marathon didn’t go quite as planned. Though my friend and I ran 26.2 miles two weeks before the actual event, I didn’t finish the race on the marathon day. I’m not sure what happened. Perhaps it felt less urgent after already proving to myself that I could do it. The weather also probably played a role — we trained in the early morning when it was mild, and the marathon day was unseasonably hot.

to grow and test yourself. It keeps you sharp, and I’ve done it many times professionally. And there’s nothing quite like pushing your body to the limit and finding out what it can do. These days, I still stay active but prefer yoga and cycling to running. Those forms of exercise are both better suited to my temperament — and thankfully, they involve getting up a little bit less early in the morning. –Heather Qu ick

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but it’s important to note that this process will take some time. Your hair needs to get used to the new routine before you’ll see results.

How to Train Your Hair

• When you’re on day two or three, use dry shampoo , which is in powder form. Put it on your scalp and where your hair is parted and also around your ears. Then, lightly massage the product into your hair until the residue is invisible. This will help your hair look less greasy. Then wait a few more days to wash if you can. • On wash days, use a shampoo designed to exfoliate your scalp to remove excess product and oil. This will help your hair look less oily throughout the week. By massaging your scalp, you activate the blood vessels — and that promotes hair growth. It will also make your hair look thicker because you’re stimulating the hair follicles. • After shampooing your scalp and the top of your head, only condition the ends of your hair . Conditioner moisturizes your hair, so if you put it on your scalp, you’re adding oil where it’s not needed, and your hair will look greasy much faster. • Once you’re out of the shower, let your hair air dry. Using a hairdryer can stimulate your scalp to produce excess oils to compensate for the drying air. If you want to cut down the drying time, add a leave-in conditioner to your hair when it’s damp. Avoid the scalp. Hair care isn’t the same for everyone, so do what makes you comfortable. How often you wash your hair depends on the thickness and type of hair that you have. Hair training is all about trial and error. With time, you will find a routine that works best for you and your hair.

Wash Your Hair Less Often! HAIR TRAINING 101

Oily hair is something a lot of people deal with. Some oil in your hair is good because it provides protection your hair needs, but how do you retain your hair’s natural oils without it looking greasy? This is where hair training comes into play.

What Is Hair Training?

It’s a way of cutting back on shampooing to help reduce buildup and grease. Once trained, you’ll only need to wash your hair once a week. In fact, by limiting the number of washes, your hair will look healthier and stronger,

Puppy Love What Happens to Pets in a Divorce? If you have pets, there’s a good chance you think of them as a part of your family. We often form deep emotional bonds with our companion animals, and sometimes, we treat them as if they’re human. Unfortunately, the Florida

your pet is a sticking point. Mediation will allow you to discuss the matter and make a mutual decision with your ex. Just beware that you may have to give something up in exchange for your pet. While we don’t recommend trading your house for Fido, a different, more equitable arrangement will likely be necessary.

divorce courts won’t. If you have a pet, the state considers it property to be divided equitably, just like your furniture and electronics.

It’s a fact that surprises and upsets many people. How, after all, can you put a price on love and companionship? But some pets — like a horse or a purebred cat or dog — are indeed valuable. Further, judges do not have the time or inclination to work out more complex arrangements. They will not institute a time- sharing agreement like with children; either your ex gets the pet or you do. Some cases are straightforward. If one spouse owned the pet before the marriage, the animal is a nonmarital asset that will revert to its original owner. Other times, one spouse wants the pet, and the other doesn’t, making the matter simple.

If you decide to go to court, you are taking a gamble with high stakes. The judge may not understand your love for the pet or may have a general disregard for animals. Plus, your divorce case will likely have multiple points of contention, limiting the amount of time spent on any one of them. However, if you decide to take this route, the judge may consider factors like who conducts the pet’s primary care, who is f inancially capable of caring for it, and how much the pet is monetarily worth.

Divorce is almost always an emotional process, and pet custody is one of many tricky obstacles. Make sure you understand the law and your rights by having an experienced divorce attorney by your side to answer any questions. They’ll give you the best chance of keeping what you value most.

Things get more complicated when the pet is marital property and both spouses want to keep it. Mediation is generally the wisest course when

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“Where flowers bloom, so does hope.” –Lady Bird Johnson

Many people spend hours on their phones scrolling, watching, and texting. Technology has found many ways to bring people together, but it can also cause a lot of trouble. Especially when you’re going through a divorce or child custody case, the things you write, send, and post can come back to haunt you. Social Media Can Hurt Your Case HOLD THE PHONE!

Even posts that won’t directly affect the outcome of your case can be used against you. Sometimes, an attorney will read embarrassing social media posts or texts in court to catch the other side off guard. They hope that by surprising or humiliating you, you might say

something you regret. It’s never a good feeling, and many people are affected emotionally by these types of tactics, even if they’re not affected legally. There is, however, a silver lining. If your ex is abusive toward you or your children, you can often use text messages as evidence in court. Don’t intentionally provoke your ex to try to gather proof, but do save any messages or posts that demonstrate their rage, possessive behavior, or violence. When a judge is unsure who to believe, it can make all the difference.

Angry social media texts and posts will not make you look good in court, and they might even hurt your case. But it can get a lot worse than that. The judge may interpret sarcastic statements literally. Posts about irresponsible or illegal behavior like drug use or binge-drinking can work against your time-sharing. And if you post about your lavish vacation in the Bahamas, it will be harder to claim financial hardship in front of a judge.

For better or worse, the internet is forever. What’s out there is out there, and you can’t take it back, no matter how many times you hit delete. People take screenshots, and online caches exist. If you post it on the web, there is no turning back. All you can do is be more careful in the future. So, when you’re in a legal dispute, step away from the phone.

Remember, if you don’t want it read out in court, don’t hit “post” or “send.” That’s always a good rule of thumb to live by, but it takes on additional importance during a divorce. Put the phone down and try a private journal, therapist, or conversation with a trusted friend instead.

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Inside

When Heather Made a Run for It

Train Your Hair to Be Less Oily

What Divorce Law Says About Pets

Divorce? Put the Phone Down.

Your Garden Can Help You Heal!

HEALING AS OLD AS DIRT Horticulture Therapy Might Help You to Recover!

When you’re in pain, daily activities like walking to the mailbox or reaching for a plate from the cupboard can exacerbate inf lamed joints and weak muscles. However, just simply being a human can intensify this pain, too. The reason is in your brain. For years, researchers have connected our mental well-being with our physical health. Study after study shows that those who suffer from mental illnesses also have intense bouts of pain. Physical therapy is a powerful treatment method designed to use your body’s strength and movement to stimulate physical healing. But to holistically recover from an injury or pain, you may have to also address your mental health. This spring, as April showers loom, consider a centuries-old practice that has shown time and time again to improve mental wellness. All it requires is a little dirt, patience, and the great outdoors.

purpose, and the first documented use of gardening for medical reasons

is from the 1800s. Since then, connecting humans to plants is now a common treatment in many countries.

What do I have to do?

To effectively engage in horticulture therapy, you

have to engage with nature. Plant a small garden in your yard and tend to it each day or week. Join a community garden, plant

an indoor herb garden, or pluck weeds from your yard. If you’re not much of a gardener, try visiting local botanical gardens or hike a local trail and identify plant life each week. Or, ask your local nursery for suggestions about plants that are easy to care for. The goal is to physically and mentally connect with nature, which bonds you to a simpler form of life.

What is horticulture therapy?

As the American Horticultural Therapy Association explains, horticulture therapy can improve cognitive and memory abilities, balance, language skills, and endurance, among other benefits. It’s the practice of gardening to stimulate mindfulness. Dating back to ancient Mesopotamia, the Persians were known for creating beautiful, calming gardens for this very

To learn more about horticulture therapy, connect with a local psychiatrist or counselor.

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