Holland & Usry October 2017

Holland & Usry October 2017

Co-Parenting During the Holidays THE IMPORTANCE OF PUTTING KIDS FIRST

ith October arriving, it’s hard to believe that the holiday season is just over the horizon. The holidays are a joyous time, but they can

spouse. Kids having a good relationship with Mom benefits Dad, and vice versa.

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also be stressful, especially if you’re trying to hash out co-parenting responsibilities. I work on a lot of family law cases, and how holidays will be handled is always a talking point. With open dialogue and an eye toward compromise, I firmly believe you can create a plan that honors traditions and works for both parents. Most importantly, it needs to work for the kids.

Every study I’ve ever read stresses the importance of letting both parents have access to the kids over the holidays. Obviously, you should honor family traditions, but you have to be cognizant of the needs of both parties. If proximity isn’t an issue, you can arrange for holidays and holiday weekends to be split among parents. Alternating is another option. Every case is different, but what matters most is a solution that doesn’t engender animosity between parties. If you spend time badmouthing the other parent to your children over the holiday season, it can be devastating for them. Now, I understand that you want your children to have the best holiday season possible. Thanksgiving and Christmas in particular really matter to kids, and you feel pressure to deliver a great experience. But I’m guessing your co-parent wants to do the exact same thing. If you’re at odds with each other, you’ll both end up failing. Kids are smart, and they can sense anger and resentment just as well as adults can. These are not easy issues to talk about, especially when they are new. You may have spent last year eating turkey and opening presents together, and all of a sudden you have to create a new plan. No matter how stressed out you feel, however, you can’t let it affect the little ones that you are raising together. The kids should always be at the top of the food chain. With Halloween just around the corner, I want to take the time to wish everyone reading this a wonderful holiday season. I’m looking forward to seeing Spartanburg come together for a festive few months. I hope that no matter what your family situation is, you can create a memorable holiday for your loved ones. Family is the most important thing, and as I’ve gotten older, that’s become even more apparent to me.

The way I see it, family law cases are basically two different cases happening simultaneously. The first one involves the splitting of assets between Mom and Dad. The second — and more crucial — one involves dealing with the kids. No matter how contentious the first case gets, you cannot let it trickle down into the second. Every parent wants what’s best for their kids, but it can be hard to be selfless with these matters.

Look, this may sound harsh, but you have to remember that your kids are not exclusively yours. Everyone knows that you need to put your kids first, but acting it out during a divorce is another matter. Divorce is hard on kids, but it becomes a whole lot harder when you create opposition between children and their other parent. Even if your relationship has ended, that doesn’t mean you can’t be polite and courteous with your former

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Kids having a good relationship with Mom benefits Dad, and vice versa.

– Bob Holland 864.582.0416

Do Kids’ Menus Do More Harm THAN GOOD?

Kids can be picky eaters. This is a fact recognized by parents and restaurants alike — hence the classic children’s menu featured at many restaurants around the country. These menus are virtually identical: chicken tenders, mac and cheese, grilled cheese, french fries, and so on. Kids’ menus are loaded with fried foods and cheap carbs. Some parents love the kids’ menu. It makes deciding on food easier. Or, at least, that’s what we tell ourselves. Kids’ menus are populated with foods practically every kid loves. But they have a dark side. Aside from poor nutrition, the kids’ menu changes the family dynamic. In an interview with Eater.com, television chef and host Alton Brown (who you may know from “Good Eats,” “Iron Chef America,” and “Cutthroat Kitchen”) said, “Never, ever, ever, ever, ever let your kid eat from the children’s menu at restaurants and never, ever, ever make your kid special food to allow them to avoid whatever the family is eating.”

culinary control to your kids. The next time you go out as a family or you make a delicious meal at home, they are more likely to demand “their” food.

This is a habit a child can quickly adopt — and a habit that’s tough to break. Kids are picky eaters because, as parents and adults, we let them be picky eaters. We perpetuate bad habits. But it doesn’t have to be this way. In a Mom.me article, Dr. Cara Natterson suggests kids eat what the rest of the family eats. For instance, let them indulge in the appetizer menu, then build up to the entrée menu and let them share and sample your food. Encourage culinary exploration. When you encourage your kids to avoid the children’s menu, you give them an opportunity to expand their flavor horizons. More importantly, it helps them make healthier choices that aren’t loaded with fat and empty carbs. Make going out to dinner a learning experience, and before you know it, the phrase “kids’ menu” will have disappeared from your family’s vocabulary.

Why? During his “Alton Brown Live!” tour, he explained that it comes down to control. By giving kids the option of the children’s menu, you relinquish

Client Testimonial SEE WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT US

“I have never been treated so well by anyone. As someone who didn’t understand the process or language Rob was extremely understanding and patient with me through the whole thing. The way they handle their clients is top class; they always return phone calls and email messages, even on Saturdays! Camila and Pam were always so helpful and never made me feel like I was a burden with any of my calls, questions, or concerns. They never made me feel in any way that they were not 100 percent taking care of my case and had my

back. I never felt alone and knew that Rob was always with me during the entire process. They definitely made me feel better about a very stressful situation. I would gladly recommend this firm any day of the week and twice on Sundays! I just can’t say enough good things about them. I am very thankful I went with my gut and chose this firm to handle my case and am very thankful to them for the outcome.”

–Brianna A.

www.bhollandlawfirm.com

18 Wheels of Danger TRUCK ACCIDENT CASES

Car accidents of any kind are a serious matter, but none more so than accidents with an 18-wheeler. Trucks can haul a maximum capacity of 80,000 pounds. That amount of weight moving at a high speed can do literally tons of damage, especially when compared to the weight of the average passenger car. This disparity can cause far more severe injuries. But it makes your case more complicated as a result.

In a normal car accident, the fault tends to lie with one of the two drivers involved. But in a trucking case, the trucking company may share blame in a variety of ways, like hiring unqualified drivers or allowing truckers to drive beyond legal hourly limits. Some trucks are also equipped with black- box >Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4

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