Mediation Advantage Services October 2018

Mediation Advantage Services October 2018

OCT 2018

(508) 795-1557 | www.mediationadvantage.com LIFE IN BALANCE

of the boys went to basketball camp on Friday, and they had a good time there. On Saturday, we took them to Wachusett Mountain for Kids Fest, where they got to run around and enjoy some fun kids’ activities. One of the coolest parts of this experience has been watching Jasmine share her healthy eating practices with the boys. She really believes in making sure children are eating healthy by eliminating processed foods and sugar. She’s been making homemade juices with fresh fruit and veggies, and they’ve embraced her efforts wholeheartedly. She made spaghetti and meatballs with homemade sauce, using kidney beans to make the meatballs vegan. They’ve been getting some treats, too, in the form of homemade candy — really cool, healthy food. Jasmine has been making sure they’re nurtured; that’s for sure. We’ve also gotten into a routine. In the morning, we start the day with children’s mindfulness music and positive affirmations — “I am loved, I am strong,” — and unwind from there with a healthy breakfast. The morning routine takes about an hour and a half, and it’s intentional so that they’re not rushing out the door. In the evening, we do a similar routine: We do some mindfulness exercises, and they have a relaxing bath to encourage a peaceful sleep. My exercise routine has been put on hold, but somehow, I’ve lost six pounds since the boys got here. Unfortunately, I think it’s because I haven’t been finding the time to eat. Kudos to all you parents of toddlers and little kids! It’s a challenge to care for them and ourselves. One thing that continues to help me with that self-care practice is having meditation as part of our routine, and it helps that the kids enjoy it, too. Really, this experience is like co-parenting with Jasmine. We see some of the challenges of co-parenting, and Jasmine has noticed that things are a little different in the way I parent today from 30 years ago. My ex-husband has also been part of the kids’ support network and is a positive male role model for them. He set up baby gates and a basketball hoop, and the boys love him. Not only have he and I been able to co-parent our own children after divorce and even into their adulthoods, but we’ve also been able to build this relationship that has been an integral part of our lives. I guess it’s preparing us to be grandparents (not that any of our girls are at that point — and we’re not rushing them). Life continues to come full circle. –Polly Tatum

We often talk about serving our community and the volunteer work we do with other organizations. Usually it’s something that happens outside our own front doors, but sometimes, service starts at home. When that happens, you have to be willing to accept the challenge. This lesson was (literally) brought home last month. I recently found out that a family member is facing some challenges, making it difficult for them to care for their kids, so for the time being, my daughter Jasmine and I are co-foster parents to three little boys, ages 5, 3, and 2. I went from being an empty-nester to having a house full of three sweet, active little boys, and they’re keeping me on my toes! We just wrapped up our first weekend with all three of them, and it went well. Jasmine and I had a week of getting prepared before they arrived, and we’re grateful to have a support network that’s here for all of us. Two WHEN SERVICE STARTS AT HOME

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CHOOSE SMART COSTUMES Halloween wouldn’t be Halloween without costumes! They should be fun, but you can also make them safer by following a few simple guidelines. Add reflective tape to candy bags and costumes and wear light colors to stand out in the dark. Buying or making the right-sized costumes is also important. If they’re too large, they create a tripping hazard, and if they’re too tight, they can restrict movement. If your child wears a mask, make sure they can see out of it properly. MAKE A PLAN Before heading out to trick or treat, create a plan and discuss it with every member of your family. This ensures that if someone in your group wanders off, they’ll know where to look for you or where to go. In case you’re separated, label your child’s costume with your name, address, and phone number. If your children are old enough to trick or treat without adults, make sure that their cellphones are charged and on them at all times, and schedule regular check-ins. HAVE A FUN AND SAFE HALLOWEEN! EVEN THE MOST FRIGHTENING GHOULS NEED TO BE CAREFUL

Happy Halloween, you goblins, ghouls, witches, and spooks! It’s that time of year again when kids and adults alike can dress up and roam the streets as their favorite heroes, frights, or princesses. While kids are eager to show off their outfits and fill their pillowcases with sugary treasures, it’s crucial to be aware of the potential dangers on Halloween night. PRACTICE STREET SAFETY Make sure your kids understand basic road safety. According to Safe Kids Worldwide, “Children are more likely to be struck by a vehicle and killed during Halloween than any other day of the year.” Before heading out for some good old-fashioned trick-or-treating, take the time to go over basic safety tips. Teach kids to look both ways before crossing, use crosswalks and traffic signals, cross streets on the corners, and never run across the street. Making eye contact with drivers before walking in front of their cars is also a good way to make sure the driver knows the child is there. There are more than enough YouTube videos, blogs, and self-help books out there to make it seem like there’s an answer to everything. Want to learn how to fix your sprinklers? You can probably find the answer online. Need to the best homeopathic remedies? There’s likely a book (or three) about it. If only co-parenting were that simple. Anyone who’s done it knows that navigating the complex relationships involved can make it hard to feel like you’re providing the best care to your kids. It’s not easy. If you feel like you would benefit from strategies to up your co-parenting game, it’s time to turn to a better resource. Mediator and attorney Polly not only has years of knowledge and strategies to help divorced parents co-parent successfully, but she also has firsthand experience co-parenting. In Polly’s course, you’ll gain the tools to reduce conflict with your former spouse while strengthening your relationship with your children. Learn how to develop effective communication with your former spouse and strategies for handling conflict. You’ll learn how to establish boundaries with your co-parent and stick to them. Polly’s course teaches you how to be open with your children about what’s happening to foster your relationship with them. The course will also help you develop a parenting plan, a tool to help you and your co-parent handle your children’s weekly routines without conflict. It’s about putting tools in place that will benefit you and your children. A BETTER CO-PARENTING RESOURCE

Polly understands that this new journey can be challenging to navigate. You may no longer have the same relationship you had with your ex when you were married, but you will need to develop one if you want to successfully co-parent your kids. She’s here to help you on that journey. Learn these strategies in Polly’s online course. This six-week online course includes weekly live training and a Q&A session with mediator and attorney Polly Tatum. Access Polly’s expertise from the comfort of your home.

Register today at meetme.so/Co-ParentingConsultation.

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CREATING A TRUST NETWORK THE VALUE OF A KIDS PROTECTION PLAN

Having three young ones under my care really emphasizes the importance of having a legal plan in place. When it comes to young kids, it’s so important make sure there’s a designation for who would care for them in the event that you are temporarily or permanently unable to. If you have kids at home who count on you for their well-being and care, you should make a Kids Protection Plan. Not all plans are centered around protecting material assets, and when it comes to a Kids Protection Plan, it’s about the assurance that your kids are taken care of by a person of your choosing. A Kids Protection Plan is a set of instructions, legal documents, and even an ID card that you keep in your wallet that designates guardianship for your children. In the event of an accident, the authorities would be able to look at this legal document and put your children under the care of the person you have designated. Having this plan gives you peace

of mind to know that your kids will never be placed in the custody of Child Protective Services or in the care of someone you don’t trust.

A Kids Protection Plan includes short-term and long-term guardians and ensures that they are set up for success in that role should they need to take it on. When we create the plan, we make sure it includes information for all of the providers involved in your children’s lives — their teachers, pediatricians, coaches, and others — so that your designated guardian can access this important network should they need to.

To meet with us and get started with your Kids Protection Plan, please give us a call at 508-645-6374.

OCTOBER SPECIAL: The first five people who come in for a wealth planning session in the month of October will get a FREE Kids Protection Plan. Call us today to schedule your planning session and put your trust network into place.

MONTHLY CHALLENGE MEDITATE Last summer, when 13 soccer players were trapped inside a Thai cave, unsure if they would get out alive, their coach, a former monk, taught them to meditate. The practice helped them remain calm and conserve vital oxygen. Our challenge to you for the next 30 days is to incorporate this peaceful practice into your life and to spend 5 minutes each day meditating.

PALEO PUMPKIN COCONUT SMOOTHIE

INGREDIENTS

Pro tip: Try an app like Headspace to get started.

• •

1 frozen banana, sliced

• • •

1 cup coconut milk

1 cup ice

1/4 cup organic pumpkin purée 2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice (or substitute with cinnamon and ginger)

DIRECTIONS

1. In a blender, combine all ingredients. 2. Blend on high or on smoothie setting until smooth.

3. Transfer to a cold glass, garnish with pumpkin pie spice, and serve. 3 (508) 795-1557

Inspired by cookeatpaleo.com

PRST STD US POSTAGE PAID BOISE, ID PERMIT 411

Hours: M-F 9AM-6PM

ESTATE PLANNING • KIDS PROTECTION PLANNING • WILLS HEALTH CARE PROXY • DURABLE POWER OF ATTORNEY • LIVING WILLS TRUSTS • DIVORCE/POST-DIVORCE MEDIATION SPECIALISTS

(508) 795-1557 www.mediationadvantage.com

INSIDE THIS ISSUE

Twitter: www.twitter.com/PollyATatum Facebook: www.facebook.com/LawOfficeofPollyATatum LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/pub/polly-tatum/15/50/506

19 Cedar St. Worcester, MA 01609

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Fulfilling a Role, Helping Out, and Accepting the Challenge

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Trick-or-Treating Safety!

Your Co-parenting Resource

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Kids Protection Plans

Monthly Challenge

Paleo Pumpkin Coconut Smoothie

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The Surprising Origins of Trick-or-Treating

an overlapping of the realms of the living and the dead. To trick the spirits leaking into our world, young men donned flowing white costumes and black masks — a great disguise when ghosts were about. The Catholic Church was never a big fan of these pagan traditions, so they renamed it “All Saints’ Day” and gussied it up in religious garb. By the 11th century, people were dressing up as saints, angels, and the occasional demon instead of spirits. Eventually, costumed children started tearing through town begging for food and money and singing a song or prayer in return — a practice called “souling.” WHY THERE ARE KIDS ON YOUR PORCH ASKING FOR CANDY The History of Trick-or-Treating

As Halloween looms and you load up your grocery cart with candy, you may ask yourself, “Why do I provide these spooky gremlins with a sugar high every Oct. 31, anyway?” Well, when your doorbell starts ringing around 6 p.m. this All Hallows’ Eve, you can thank the Celts for this tradition of candy and costumes. Halloween itself is a kind of mishmash of four different cultural festivals of old: two Roman fêtes, which commemorated the dead and the goddess of fruit and trees (not at the same time); the Celtic Samuin or Samhain, a new year’s party thrown at the end of our summer; and the Catholic All Saint’s Day, designed to replace Samuin and divorce it from its pagan origins.

But when did they start dressing up as Minions? Starting in the 19th century, souling turned to “guising,” which gave way to trick-or-treating in mid-20th-century America, and the costumes diversified. So put on some clown makeup and a big smile, scoop up a handful of sweets, and scare the living daylights out of ‘em — ‘tis the season!

Long before there were young’uns on your porch dressed as Thanos with candy-filled pillowcases in hand, the Celts believed that Samuin marked

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