Peter Smith | Lost Impossimals

Peter Smith | Lost Impossimals

Peter Smith B.1967

The Lost Impossimals have been a long time coming; they started way back in 2007 with a small doodle on the back of an old sketchpad when I had the idea that Impossimals, far from being a new discovery, were in fact already part of history. As I thought more and more about where the Impossimals had originated from something clicked; not just any something, but a big something and suddenly I could see in full the entire history before me. That was the easy part, the hardest was the research, photographing, model-making and collating all the material so I could then start to paint them. Early in 2008 I painted my first, the Hippocrocapig, on a second hand framed canvas found for a few pounds in a antique shop. I was hooked. Not only did the Lost Impossimals come alive but with them an entire new way of looking at a world that was bursting to get out. I became an explorer, delving deeper into history to find little slips of information that would enable me to pinpoint not only an Impossimal but also the effect it had upon history after its discovery. To give this a real feel and to embed itself in my imagination I invented two things: Firstly the fictitious National Museum of Antiquities - a place to hold the Lost Impossimal collection. Secondly Sir Charles ‘Bluster’ Burroughs, a renowned Victorian explorer who discovered, catalogued and painted the Lost Impossimal out in the field. Combined, they pulled together the Lost Impossimals over the last two years to create the first Natural Twistory, the document you are now holding in your hands.

NA T I ONA L MU S EUM OF AN T I QU I T I E S F o u n d e d 1 7 8 6

IMPOS S IMAL SAURUS G I GANT I CUS LOS T IMPOS S IMAL S

f r o m t h e f i e l d n o t e s o f C h a r l e s B u r r o u g h s ( ‘ B l u s t e r B u r r o u g h s ’ ) 1 4 t h D e c e m b e r 1 8 2 0 – J u l y 4 t h 1 9 1 1 )

F o r e m o s t V i c t o r i a n E x p l o r e r & C r y p t o z o o l o g i s t

p u b l i s h e d b y t h e NAT I ONAL IMPOS S I GRAPH I C SOC I ETY n i p w i p , v i c t o r i a f a l l s

NA T I ONA L MU S EUM OF AN T I QU I T I E S F o u n d e d 1 7 8 6

THE EXPLORER

LIST OF PAINTINGS

Charles Burroughs (‘Bluster Burroughs’; 14th December 1820 – July 4th 1911)

AS CATALOGUED BY THE NATIONAL MUSEUM OF ANTIQUITIES

PLATE

PAGE

In 1902, Charles Burroughs - commonly known as ‘Bluster Burroughs’ and the foremost expert in the Victorian era of cryptozoology - disappeared whilst exploring the Congo. Famed for regularly capturing unknown species in the wild before the advent of portable photography, the whereabouts of his extensive collection of Defluo Impossimali or Lost Impossimal location paintings remained a mystery. Painted on anything that came to hand during his numerous expeditions around the world, the paintings became a Victorian sensation. Exhibited widely throughout the Empire as part of the Impossisaurus Britannicas collection and viewed by some of the leading figures from the Victorian era, they are said to have influenced the likes of scientists, scholars and authors alike until their eventual disappearance in 1902 - a disappearance that coincided with Charles’ final expedition to find the lost Woolly Gullagaloo in an unexplored region of the Congo called Gwangu by the natives. This was an expedition that Charles never returned from, prompting speculation that he had been devoured by a Striped Foofalow - an Impossimal renowned for its white teeth which it keeps in a jar when it’s not eating. Many people have searched for Charles and his missing paintings, but it was only when a young scholar assigned to cleaning duties disturbed a battered forgotten crate at the National Museum of Antiquities that the mystery began. The crate had remained unopened since it’s delivery in 1911, nine years after Charles Burroughs alleged disappearance. Not only did it contain the lost paintings of Charles Burroughs but also his extensive notes. Even more importantly, tucked away at the bottom, was his diaries; a collection that revealed the extraordinary life of this great explorer from humble beginnings, his rise to fame and ultimately to his last ever entry, dated July 4th 1911.

1. Fat Floppy Fluffs - The Giant Lagomorph

4

2. Illuminated Fairy Furry Floopaloo

.

5

3. Lost Impossimal Timeline

.

.

6-7

4. Edison’s Sherlock Sidewinder

.

.

8

5. High Tea Hee-Haw

.

.

.

9

6. Barnum’s Bar Bending Ringling Clipperwhip

10

7. Lesser Spotted Neapolitan Knickerbocker Glory

11

8. Dalisaurus Surrealius

.

.

.

12

By kind permission of the head curator of The National Museum of Antiquities

SIR CHARLES BURROUGHS (LEFT)

This picture is of particular interest as it is the only existing verified photograph of Sir Charles Burroughs. Taken in 1880 whilst in Angola on the trail of the Illuminated Furry Floopaloo. Sir Charles is accompanied in the picture by the celebrated botanist Sir Brantson Pickle R.A.

NA T I ONA L MU S EUM OF AN T I QU I T I E S F o u n d e d 1 7 8 6

Fat Floppy Fluff - the giant lagomorph Limited Edition Canvas on Board of 95 Image Size 28” x 22 1/2 ” Framed £650

FAT FLOPPY FLUFFS - THE GIANT LAGOMORPH 1850-1851 England

In 1864, Lewis Carroll was passing a gallery in Oxford which was hosting an event by Charles Burroughs. Charles, spoke about his encounter with one of the Empire’s least known animals, the Giant Lagomorphs, more commonly known as Fat Floppy Fluffs. Usually only seen around tea-time they love nothing more than sitting around with a cup of tea on warm summer nights. Charles followed a Fat Floppy Fluff after discovering one right under his nose on Wimbledon Common. At first he thought he had discovered a Womble, but closer inspection revealed a rounder body and an absence of tweed. His trek led him to a large hole underneath the roots of a twisted Bongleberry bush. One slip and he fell in, only stopping when he landed several hundred feet down the hole on a large moss bed. He was curious to discover more, and after some fiddling about with grow and shrink potions, finally found his way into a magic garden full of childhood memories. The Fat Floppy Fluff was nowhere to be seen, but a passing Leicestershire Cat pointed out the way from this land of wonder back to the green grass of the common. Lewis Carroll, obviously moved by this, decided to write up Charles’ story, but to make it more plausible disguise it as fiction. It’s only because of the discovery of this painting many years later that we can finally say that Wonderland was real and Alice in Wonderland is probably the best non-fictional account about the Fat Floppy Fluffs and its environment.

Illuminated Fairy Furry Floopaloo Limited Edition Canvas on Board of 95 Image Size 14 1/2 ” x 32” Framed £550

ILLUMINATED FAIRY FURRY FLOOPALOO 1880 Angola

When his sight returned, the Illuminated Fairy Furry Floopaloo was gone. Charles never forgot, and during a speech in 1880 he coined the word ‘fairy lights’ to describe the rhythmic movement through the trees as he tracked the Floopaloo. A year later in 1881, the Savoy Theatre, London was the first building the world to be lit entirely by electricity. Sir Joseph Swan, inventor of the incandescent light bulb, supplied about 1,200 of his lamps, and a year later, the Savoy owner, Richard D’Oyly Carte, equipped the principal fairies with miniature lighting supplied by the Swan Electric Lamp Company, for the opening night of Iolanthe on 25th November 1882. The archive of the D’Oyly Carte Opera Company states that the term ‘fairy lights’ subsequently came into common use after this stage production.

Spotted from a distance one night, this notoriously reclusive Impossimal had only been the subject of local hearsay. After tracking the animal by the means of following it’s twinkly antlers, Charles Burroughs watched in amazement as the beast stopped, turned and smiled. This first ever contact with an Illuminated Fairy Floopaloo was sadly also our last; the Impossimal ruffled its fur until a spark of static electricity lit the antler lights to such a brightness that Charles was temporarily blinded.

NATIONAL MUSEUM OF ANTIQUITIES F ounded 1786

Key Dates

World Events

NAT I ONAL MUS EUM OF ANT I QU I T I E S F ounded 1786 C h a r l e s B u r r o u g h s ( ‘ B l u s t e r B u r r o u g h s ’ ) 14 th D ecember 1820 – J uly 4 th 1911

DISCOVERY TIMELINE

Volume One / XIIX

PUBLISHED BY THE NATIONAL MUSEUM OF ANTIQUITIES

NA T I ONA L MU S EUM OF AN T I QU I T I E S F o u n d e d 1 7 8 6

high teA hEE-haw Limited Edition Canvas on Board of 95 Image Size 21 1/4 ” x 28” Framed £625

HIGH TEA HEE-HAW 1845 Jiangnan, China

cups and saucers which accompany it everywhere. Charles used this to his advantage as he tracked the creature through the hills for two weeks in the Summer of 1845. Eventually he managed to sneak up on the Hee Haw using a large Bourbon Cream as camouflage. Narrowly avoiding a dunking himself, Charles not only got this incredible painting but also returned with armfuls of biscuits to wondrous applause from Victorian society as the pleasures of sugared dunkable treats were received with open arms. The traditional high tea was born. Following the expedition to China and in celebration of the High Tea Hee-Haw, several companies including Carrs, Huntley & Palmer, and Crawfords formed in 1850 to produce the new biscuits based on the samples Charles returned with, although no one could fathom out the ‘nice’ biscuit which was anything but as it systematically collapses when dunked in tea. For such a creature that pursued ultimate dunkability, the inclusion of the word ‘nice’ on such a sponge of a biscuit unfortunately remains a mystery.

edison’s sherlock sidewinder Limited Edition Canvas on Board of 95 Image Size 30” x 18 3/4 ” Framed £595

As rare as a Ming vase, the High Tea Hee-Haw, when found, will invariably be in the middle of the tea bushes quietly content testing the dunkability of its recent creations. A creature with only one goal in life (to create the perfect accompaniment to tea), this gentle giant heats water in it’s chamber-sized body which is then mixed with tea leaves according to taste. No one really knows how the Hee-Haw creates its biscuits, but they are regarded as one of the greatest delicacies in the region. Tea pickers used to sit near this shy beast to benefit from its warmth during inclement periods until an incident involving scolding water and a chocolate digestive in 1799 put the Hee-Haw out of favour. Now it keeps itself to itself, but is easily spotted out in the open with its giveaway pink picnic blanket and oversized

EDISON’S SHERLOCK SIDEWINDER 1874-1876 London

Named in honour of Thomas Edison’s creation of the Edison Electric Light Company in 1878, this slippery slithery sidewinder is also said to have been the inspiration for Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes in 1887 when ‘A Study In Scarlet’ first appeared in Beeton’s Christmas Annual. Noted for it’s peculiar ‘S’ shape when standing, it sports a deerstalker hat and can regularly be seen smoking a rather ornate pipe. Charles captured his Edison’s Sherlock Sidewinder using a goldfish bowl laced with coca leaves. Returning to Great Britain he kept it on his book case for many years until one stormy night, his Sherlock Sidewinder lit its pipe and slithered away after hearing the particularly baleful howl of a hound.

LESSER SPOTTED NEAPOLITAN KNICKERBOCKER GLORY 1868-1869 Iceland Not to be confused with the Lesser Spotted Knickerbocker Glory, this Neapolitan-tailed hybrid was captured on canvas in 1868 when Charles first saw the creature dining on what could only be described as coloured ice which it dug out of the frozen environment around Popsicle bay, Iceland. The painting toured the Empire as part of the Great Impossisaurus Britannicas Exhibition in 1901. During its time in America, it was seen by a young boy called Frank Epperson of San Francisco. It made such an impact that in 1905 when Frank was 11 years old, he tried to recreate the coloured water sticks by leaving a glass of soda powder and water outside on his back porch with a wooden mixing stick in it. That night, the temperature dropped below freezing. When Epperson returned to the drink the next morning he found that the soda water had frozen inside the glass and that by running it under hot water, he was able to remove (and eat) the frozen soda water chunk using the stick as a handle. The ice-lollipop was introduced to the public for the first time at an Oakland ball for firemen in 1922. In 1923, Epperson applied for a patent for “frozen ice on a stick” called the Epsicle ice lollipop, which he re-named the Popsicle after the famous bay where Charles Burroughs had first seen the creature. A couple of years later, Epperson sold the rights to the brand name ‘Popsicle’ to the Joe Lowe Company in New York City and the rest is history.

barnum’s bar bending ringling clipperwhip Limited Edition Canvas on Board of 95 Image Size 18 3/4 ” x 30” Framed £595

BARNUM’S BAR BENDING RINGLING CLIPPERWHIP 1870 Germany A chance free ticket given to Charles in 1889 gave him the opportunity to meet the showman of the decade, Phineas T.Barnum, as he bought his ‘Greatest Show on Earth’ over from New York and straight to Olympia in London. Charles was more interested in one of Barnum’s ‘acts’ though, the only tame captive Clipperwhip - a curious animal that balances strength and dexterity into one complete unit. Now the Barnum’s Bar Bending Ringling Clipperwhip is a top-of-the-bill crowd pleaser, known as the ‘Greatest Animal on Earth’. The only previous example was a fleeting glimpse that Charles managed to get in 1858 whilst in Germany on a hunt for the Peppered Pork Pie Pig. The Clipperwhip moved at lightening speed after being disturbed as it ate horse chestnuts and skilfully weaved its way through the trees, completely unhindered by its duality, an ability that made it incredibly hard to sneak upon. Charles had no drawing facilities to hand so he improvised and used a small metal cleaning brush from his shaving kit which he bent in an approximate representation of the Clipperwhips distinctive curly shape. When he returned to camp he made a sketch from memory and using the curly metal shape as reference. Once he had finished sketching he inadvertently pushed the papers in between the metal curl and found to his amazement the papers held together with this paper ‘clip’. A failure to patent his accidental finding led to the paperclip being taken into common usage by the 1870’s after

unscrupulous companions copied it by the thousands.

Charles, upon meeting Barnum’s Clipperwhip, was amazed to find that it was the very Clipperwhip that gave him the slip all those years ago. With its fantastic memory and superior strength, it was not only able to describe exactly what he wore that day, but also bent him a new bit of metal in the shape of the now common paperclip. The Clipperwhip Bent Metal Bar is now one of the most prized possessions at the National Museum of Antiquities, along with Charles’ original bit of curly metal.

Lesser spotted neapolitan knickerbocker glory Limited Edition Canvas on Board of 95 Image Size 30” x 18 3/4 ” Framed £595

Below: Peruvian Party Python

DALISAURUS SURREALIUS 1890-1891 Figueres, Girona, Catalonia, Spain

Although it is widely believed that the surrealist artist, Salvador Dali developed his unique style over time, one cannot help but make a parallel between his work and a native resident of Spain, the Dalisaurus Surrealius. These creatures would have been quite common during Dali’s early years in Figueres as they strolled along the plains and occasionally onto the cobbled streets using a silver-tipped cane to balance. Dali’s name noticeably shares a similarity, so to does his trademark moustache. It is this evidence that has pointed art historians towards the Dalisaurus as a significant influence in his work. The Dalisaurus Surrealius captured on canvas by Charles Burroughs between 1890 and 1891, is generally considered to show that, far from being a placid beast, it created mayhem whereever it went with its ability to warp objects and melt timepieces until it was shooed out of existence in 1919, just as Dali held his first exhibition. Tired of replacing the town clock, a group of vigilantes carrying cucumbers shooed the entire herd of Dalisaurus Surrealius away to a nearby olive grove where the herd was faced with a tough dose of reality and asked to stop being so surreal. Unable to cope with the alien concept, one by one they popped out of existence leaving just a collection of moustaches which are still on display and can be found at the Salvador Dali museum in Port Lligat.

dalisaurus surrealius Limited Edition Canvas on Board of 95 Image Size 30” x 18 3/4 ” Framed £595

NA T I ONA L MU S EUM OF AN T I QU I T I E S F o u n d e d 1 7 8 6

©2012 Washington Green Impossimals® and all related logos, names, characters and distinctive likenesses are the trade marks of Peter and Jayne Smith. No Images or Content to be used without permission. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

TM & ©2012 All Rights Reserved. www.lostimpossimals.co.uk www.washingtongreen.co.uk