Atlanta Divorce Law Group - July 2019

Atlanta Divorce Law Group - July 2019

THE MESSY BUT EMPOWERING ROAD TO INDEPENDENCE

Don’t Forget to Keep Saying ‘Yes’ to Yourself

July 2019

Between all the parades, fireworks, and barbecues, it’s easy for people to forget the real reason they are celebrating the Fourth of July: America’s long sought after independence from Great Britain. When you stop to think about it, independence can be somewhat difficult to define for both countries and individuals. Furthermore, after years of closely working with clients who come to us looking for guidance during the divorce process, we’ve found that the idea of independence becomes even more obfuscated. Most people learn independence as they grow. Milestones, like the first time they poured their own cereal, mastered how to ride a bike, passed their driver’s test, graduated from high school, and headed off to college, all serve as necessary increments on the journey to independence. Then, once you meet someone with whom you want to spend the rest of your life, you continue making huge life decisions that influence your definition of independence. While all marriages are unique, it’s safe to say that when most couples utter the words “I do” on their wedding day, they have plans to rely on one another for support and trust. In legally, emotionally, and physically merging their lives, they are, in a way, sacrificing their own independence to allow for their marriage to grow. But what happens when that relationship comes to an end? How does a person, who has become so dependent on another, find the courage to resume life on their own two feet? After spending years, or even decades, becoming accustomed to life as a partner, the notion of being single and facing challenges alone can be quite daunting. But

rediscovering your own independence is just like strengthening a muscle. Just as your independence grew in increments as a child, as a recently divorced adult, you have to take steps to get back to the level of independence required to make you feel confident and comfortable. Start by acknowledging that your life is going to significantly change and that those changes might be difficult to manage. Then, work to continuously increase your confidence and self-esteem by exercising your independence muscle. You could, for example, make a commitment to try something new and see it though. Each and every time you say “yes” to yourself, you only strengthen that muscle, which, in turn, builds your self-esteem and your faith in yourself. While working to rediscover your own independence is a vital part of the post-divorce process, perhaps the most important piece of advice we have is this: Know when to ask for help. We understand that asking for help while trying to nourish your faith in yourself might seem counterintuitive, nothing could be further from the truth, for being truly independent means knowing your own limitations and where to get the help you need. Our own Concierge Services Program was created for this very reason and can aid you in navigating all the social, economic, logistical, and emotional parts of the divorce. We’ve personally vetted mechanics, financial advisors, nannies, family therapists, real estate agents, and many others and would love to help you get in contact with them, so you can focus on your kids, your mental health, and your career during this time of change. Rediscovering your independence is a process that won’t happen overnight, but believing in yourself becomes substantially easier when you have a support system you can trust. Let us know how we can help you get one step closer to celebrating your own independence day!

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–Sara Khaki

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3 Local Events for Families CELEBRATE SUMMER IN ATLANTA!

CHAMPIONS OF MAGIC July 20; 7:30 p.m. To Purchase Tickets: FoxTheatre.org

Fourth of July festivities may seem like they monopolize the entire month, but Atlanta is hopping with all kinds of local events unrelated to the holiday. If you’re looking for ways to get your kids off the couch this summer after the fireworks stop, consider these three options that offer fun for the whole family. AGLANTA EATS July 15; 5–8 p.m. To Purchase Tickets: Aglanta-Eats.Eventbrite.com During the one-day extravaganza of AgLanta Eats, bring your kids to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens to marvel at the greenery and taste dishes made by some of Atlanta’s best chefs (including Longleaf Restaurant’s Jason Paolini, Think Table Atlanta Founder Jerome Kendrick, and The Loco Coco’s Natalie Fisher) from fresh produce grown in the city. You’ll enjoy live music, a silent auction, and delicious bites while your kids learn about urban farming and the local food chain. Tickets, which include unlimited food tastings, are $15 for children 10 and under and $50 for adults.

The five British stars of Champions of Magic are illusionists impressive enough to hop the pond, and they’ll bring “incredible mind reading, stunning close-up magic, and daring large-scale illusions” to Atlanta’s own Fox Theatre this summer. The cast includes Close-Up Magic Expert Kayla Drescher, Master Mind Reader Alex McAleer, Escape Artist Fernando Velasco, and the innovative illusionists known simply as Young & Strange. Tickets are $26–$56 each, and we promise they’re worth every penny.

ATLANTA ICE CREAM FESTIVAL July 27; 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. FREE Event!

This festival’s name might set off some sugar-rush alarm bells, but its goal is actually to encourage kids and adults alike to live balanced lives. The Atlanta Ice Cream Festival pairs wellness activities like yoga, meditation, qi gong, double Dutch, hula hooping, Frisbee, and a 5K Cancer Walk with live music, non-food vendors, and plenty of delicious ice cream. Don’t miss this sweet event for all ages!

HIKING WITH YOUR KIDS

Watch Their World Expand With Every Step

KEEP SAFETY IN MIND While you’re out on the trail, it’s essential to make sure that both you and your family are safe. Wear breathable, noncotton material and sturdy shoes that don’t expose your toes. It’s important to dress according to the weather. For example, if the day is sunny, wear sunglasses to protect your eyes from harmful UV rays and apply plenty of sunscreen on any exposed skin. Bring your kids’ favorite snacks and water bottles for everyone to stay hydrated. It’s crucial that you also bring a fully stocked first-aid kit in case someone is injured on the hike. Starting with one of your local hiking trails can be a rewarding way to spend the day with your kids. You can watch their excitement as they expand their world with new discoveries.

Hiking has many benefits as a family activity, such as mental health improvement, strengthening your relationships, and experiencing new sights and discoveries together. It’s also great exercise, and you get plenty of quality time, fresh air, and sunshine. Here are three guidelines to help you and your kids have fun on your next hike. ENCOURAGE THEIR CURIOSITY One of the best ways to have your children learn about the world is letting them explore it. Being there for your children and encouraging them to ask questions about flowers, bugs, or animals you see on the trail will help them expand their vocabulary and learn how things work. When they learn they can explore independently and ask about the world around them, they’re gaining the confidence to teach themselves. BRING ALONG SOME TOOLS OF DISCOVERY Getting your children to engage in nature while you’re out hiking can be as simple as bringing a magnifying glass along with you. Let your kids look at leaves, rocks, insects, or anything else you might come across on the trail. You can also bring binoculars to help them look at a bird that might be perched a little too high up. Another option is a bug holder to let your kids catch smaller insects, such as grasshoppers or pill bugs, and give them a close-up look.

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DIVORCE IS RANKED THE SECOND MOST STRESSFUL EVENT But Don’t Let That Stop You From Getting Back Out There!

Anyone who has had an experience with divorce — whether their parents’ or their own — knows that it can be a necessary, albeit stressful, affair. However, few know just how detrimental the stress can be. Several mental health experts agree that the four life events that cause the most anxiety are:

find someone new, you should never let it prevent you from finding a strong connection with another partner. If you’ve reached the point in your life where you feel like you are ready to start dating, here’s some helpful advice to keep in mind. ARE YOU REALLY, TRUTHFULLY, HONESTLY, READY? This might sound frank, but signed divorce papers aren’t a tell-all sign that it’s time to re-enter the dating pool. Pay close attention to how often you find yourself thinking about your ex-spouse and what those thoughts actually look like. For example, if you’re constantly praising or cursing them, you might need to allow yourself more time to heal.

and where you want to go is just as essential for relationships as it is for road trips and careers.” While the idea of opening yourself up to someone else sounds scary, many recently divorced people forget to reflect on all that worked and didn’t work in the past to identify personal goals and changes they would like to make for their next relationship. VET YOUR APPS. While you should never fear online dating, you’ll want to keep in mind that different apps tend to fare better for different types of users and the kinds of relationships they seek. Before creating a profile on the first app you encounter, do a little research to determine which fits your criteria best.

1. The death of a spouse or child 2. Divorce 3. Being imprisoned 4. Experiencing a health crisis

If you’ve undergone or are currently going through your own divorce, this ranking might make you breathe a little easier knowing that the stressful emotions you’re experiencing are normal and that you are not alone.

DRAW A RELATIONSHIP ROAD MAP. As Dr. Nikki Martinez, a licensed professional counselor, explains, “Knowing where you’ve been

While divorce can influence your perspective regarding life, love, and even your ability to

CONCIERGE PARTNERS’ CORNER: Featuring KimWilliams, One of Our Real Estate Extraordinaires!

WHAT OUR Clients Are Saying!

At ADLG, we’ve compiled a list of community partners whom we trust to provide you with great services at fair prices, all in hopes of helping you get back on your feet a little easier. The concierge partner we’d like to introduce this month is real estate agent and expert Kim Williams. As the proud mother of two daughters, Kim claims she has the benefit of multiplying her

“Atlanta Divorce Law Group took client service to a level beyond anything I could have ever imagined! This law firm operates in a professional and confident manner. I came to them with a situation that was anything but easy for me, but their entire staff helped make the process smooth and stress-free. If you ever find yourself in this hard spot (like I did), I recommend you choose ADLG to guide you through the storm!”

life experiences by three. Commuting all through the area for parties, sporting events, sleep-overs, and play dates has given her a solid grasp on the growth and opportunities in our community. Additionally, as the Marketing Manager of a top-notch roofing company, Kim has worked intimately with leading real estate brokerages and thus understands the real estate market from a vendor’s perspective. Following a divorce, one of the most stressful steps is determining an ideal housing situation for you and your family. If you think Kim can help you buy or sell a home, you can either reach our ADLG team or contact her directly at 678-641-2391. You can also peruse her current listings and latest blog posts at KWilliams.c21.com/ .

–Linda A.

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Inside This Issue

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The Messy but Empowering Road to Independence

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3 Local Events for Families

Hiking With Your Kids

Post-Divorce Dating Advice From the Experts

What Our Clients Are Saying!

ADLG’s ‘Big Little Lies’ Series: Season 1, Episode 3 Recap

ADLG’s ‘Big Little Lies’ Series: Season 1, Episode 3 Recap Family Law Theme: Therapy

In preparation for the new season of “Big Little Lies,” which was released on June 9, the team at Atlanta Divorce Law Group launched a new blog series to extrapolate numerous family themes addressed in season one. Below is a condensed recap of the third blog and episode “Living the Dream.” In this episode, “Big Little Lies” presents the audience with a number of family law themes,

but the main focus of this episode is therapy. Several of the characters reference therapy in episode three. Renata suggests to her husband that maybe they should take their daughter to a child therapist to help her deal with the school biting incident and fallout. When Jane talks to Madeline about her rape and subsequent pregnancy, she admits she has never spoken to anyone about the attack, let alone talked to a therapist about it. While Renata, Jane, and

Madeline talk about the idea of therapy, Celeste and Perry actually go to a therapy session to address the issues in their marriage. If you are having problems within your marriage or family, you do not have to deal with these issues on your own. A therapist can help provide guidance and emotional support when you need it most. Therapists, whether a child therapist or relationship therapist, can help you sort through the emotions and pinpoint the issues that are troubling you. They can help you process your feelings and gain perspective about what has happened, and why. Therapists can also help their clients develop coping mechanisms for dealing with emotions and stressful interactions and acquire the tools they need to mend/move on from relationships and build healthy futures. Therapy is an individual process; there are no standards when it comes to starting therapy or the length of treatment. To read about the family law themes present in the second episode, or to see some foreshadowing present in “Living the Dream,” be sure to go to AtlantaDivorceLawGroup.com/Blog.

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