Donahoe Kearney - December 2021

Donahoe Kearney - December 2021

BRIEF

donahoekearney.com

December 2021

THE BEST ADVICE I EVER GOT

A young college student recently asked me what I thought about ROTC programs on campus. Here’s what I told him. When I was in high school, I knew I wanted to go to college, and I wanted a little different experience than most of my friends. I went to a big public high school, so I was looking for a place that was smaller. I chose Duquesne University, a small Catholic school in Pittsburgh, a place I’d never been before. With smaller classes and a focus on analysis and writing, it was a good fit academically. The only problem was paying for it. I met a guy in my dorm who was in Army ROTC. I had thought that might be a good fit for me but didn’t really know what it was all about — I was at a private college, and most people just weren’t interested. There were only about 30 or 40 kids in the program, and most dropped out after a year or two. On college campuses, the ROTC program is headed by a professor of military science, a lieutenant colonel, and several other senior enlisted and tactical officers. In the late 1980s, these guys were winding down their careers — they had all fought in Vietnam 20 years earlier and most didn’t really care for “soft” college students or the college lifestyle.

But they encouraged me to apply for a scholarship, which I needed because I was what they call today “financially challenged” or “money insecure.” Back then, we just called it broke. Besides military history and tactics, the No. 1 thing they taught, preached, and lived was toughness. There were just no excuses for anything. We had PT (physical training) at 6:30 a.m. and you had to be shaved, in uniform, and in formation before that or you were late. And we ran outside in the dark, no matter the weather, because our leader Col. Mekkleson’s last assignment was Ft. Richardson, Alaska, where his troops did PT when it was 40

degrees F below zero. The profanity they used was legendary — I’m laughing right now thinking of two or three things yelled at me that were so bad, there is no way I could print them in this newsletter. They gave us great perspective with their experiences as well. When our colonel was a young lieutenant in Vietnam, a few of his soldiers, probably 19 or 20 years old, came off extended patrol but were denied entrance to a club because they hadn’t shaved and weren’t wearing the right uniform ... So, they decided to burn the place down. When

CONTINUED ON PAGE 2 ...

202.393.3320 • 1

Published by Newsletter Pro • www.NewsletterPro.com

... CONTINUED FROM COVER

he stopped them and put out their torches, he didn’t call the MPs or have them arrested for arson, destruction of property, or anything else. He invited them to his tent to get something to eat and have a beer, which is all they wanted in the first place. They were good soldiers who had seen intense fighting and needed a break, he told us years later. Another time, a Fayetteville car dealer took advantage of a young soldier and ripped him off. When the colonel (then a captain) heard about it, he called the dealer who said he wasn’t giving the money back and there was nothing the colonel could do about it. The colonel told him he had 120 men in his company who asked him to get off early, so they could all go down to the dealership and “check out” the guy’s inventory. The soldier got his money back. The senior enlisted guys gave us advice as well (typically presented in some kind of story involving drinking and a SANTA CLAUS’ IDENTITY FRAUD Have you seen Tim Allen’s 1994 film “The Santa Clause”? It’s about an ordinary businessman named Scott Calvin who accidentally becomes Santa Claus after Mr. Kris Kringle himself falls off his roof and disappears. While the story seems like a traditional children’s fairy tale, there’s a real-life case of an ordinary man named Warren J. Hayes from Ohio who became Santa Claus for over 20 years. On Dec. 20, 2001, while running some last-minute Christmas errands, Mr. Hayes was involved in a minor car accident. After the police were called and requested his identification, Warren produced an Ohio state issued license bearing the name “Santa Claus” residing at the residence of 1 Noel Drive, North Pole, OH 44481. He was subsequently charged with a first-degree misdemeanor for presenting a fictitious ID card. But Mr. Hayes also had an official motor vehicle registration, AAA membership card, and bank account in Santa’s name. In fact, he submitted the following as evidence of his identity during his hearing:

barroom brawl), and after professionally abusing us for four years, they couldn’t contain their smiles when they called us “sir” as soon as we got commissioned. That small program turned out a lot of good officers, including some who just retired after distinguished careers. I got my commission and infantry assignment but deferred it to go to law school, then transferred to the Judge Advocate General’s Corps (Army lawyers). The irony is that our colonel hated lawyers — which he told me every chance he got — but he encouraged me to go to law school anyway. So, my advice to the kid was the same I got 30 years ago: Go for it. You will learn a ton about leadership, physical and mental toughness, and how to handle yourself under pressure — even if the profanity is nowhere near as good as it once was.

- Frank Kearney

listed were “Mr. Claus and Holly Noel.” Dr. Snowflake was the attending physician • Several years’ worth of Ohio ID cards for Santa listing residence at 1 Noel Drive, North Pole, OH 44481 • A certificate of title issued to Santa Claus for a 1965 Volkswagen • A blank check from the Second National Bank of Warren on the account of Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus • Several vehicle registration certificates for a 1965 Volkswagen registered to Santa Claus So, when it came time for his hearing in State v. Hayes aka Santa Claus , the judge ruled that since he had held this ID from the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles for 20 years, Santa has been a “real person” since early 1982 and thus could not be liable.

• A copy of Santa Claus’ birth certificate, showing that he was born at the North Pole, Dec. 25, 383 A.D. The parents

So, when your kids ask you this year if Santa Claus is real, you can say yes — and he lived in Ohio.

2 • DONAHOEKEARNEY.COM

Published by Newsletter Pro • www.NewsletterPro.com

How to Raise the Woof This Howliday Planning to ring in the holiday season with your furry friends

COZY UP BY THE FIRE With These Classic Christmas Films 3. Browse the local Christmas market in Victure Park at THE REACH and pick up some last-minute Christmas presents from the boutique stalls or enjoy your stroll with some warm mulled wine and tasty treats. 2. Take your pup for a stroll through President’s Park to visit The National Christmas Tree (the true highlight is the handmade ornaments from each of the 56 U.S. territories). this year? Attorney Frank Kearney’s dog, affectionately nicknamed The Beast, brings you his ultimate guide to celebrating Christmas with your four-legged family members. 1. Old Town Alexandria is brimming with holiday cheer and decor. Check out the lighting of the tree in Market Square or browse the local shops where you’re sure to find a bowl of water and treats for your pet. The holiday season is upon us, which means it’s time to cozy up by the fire with a great Christmas movie — a filmmaking tradition that dates back to 1898 when the one-minute film "Santa Claus" was released. In honor of this tradition, we have compiled our staff’s top three favorite classic Christmas films to share with you and your family!

Give Your Friends, Family, and Colleagues the Gift of Peace of Mind This Christmas

‘The Year Without a Santa Claus’ (1974)

A book about workers’ comp might not be on your spouse’s or friend’s Christmas list. But we know that it’s more than just a book. All year round, we love to give the gift of peace of mind. And these books bring with it the bonus of just that — peace of mind after a serious work injury. Every week, we hear from workers who are injured, can’t work, and are worried about the future. The No. 1 thing we do as lawyers is take the “worry” out of workers’ comp. The anxiety, the stress, the uncertainty — we take all of that away for you. And that’s why we give people the best information to help them stand up to the insurance company! Anyone who has read these books knows that they can help level the playing field. And you can give someone you care about the gift of peace of mind today. We make it easy. Just call us at 202.393.3320 or email us at [email protected] and we’ll do the rest.

‘Mickey’s Christmas Carol’ (1983)

‘Home Alone’ (1990)

202.393.3320 • 3

Published by Newsletter Pro • www.NewsletterPro.com

Donahoe Kearney, LLP 708 Pendleton Street First Floor Alexandria, VA 22314 202.393.3320 DonahoeKearney.com

PRST STD US POSTAGE PAID BOISE, ID PERMIT 411

INSIDE THIS ISSUE 1 The Best Advice I Ever Got 2 Santa Claus' Identity Fraud 3 3 Things to Do With Your Pets This Christmas Enjoy These 3 Classic Christmas Films This Christmas, Give the Gift of Peace of Mind 4 Frank’s Column: Happy Holidays

Frank's Column: Happy Holidays! I’m one of those people who loves Christmas but waits until the last minute to shop — so with supply chain delays, I’m basically screwed this year (unfortunately, I gave my wife the “Union Worker’s Guide” last year). I love the Christmas

with the Kranks” being No. 1 with “A Christmas Story” a close second) even made it onto the list this year! So, best wishes from all of us, including The Beast — who aggressively celebrates every holiday! Do you know someone we can help? We make it easy on you to refer your friends, family, and coworkers! Just have them call 202-393-3320 or use this QR code for a confidential, no-risk assessment of their case. - Frank Kearney

season, but it just sneaks up on me every year (and I hate to shop). And while I’m on a Scrooge tear, none of my favorite movies (“Christmas

4 • DONAHOEKEARNEY.COM

Published by Newsletter Pro • www.NewsletterPro.com