Soto Law Group May 2019

Soto Law Group May 2019

May 2019 Soto’s Chronicles

DeDe Soto

Protecting your most valuable asset — your family

PARENTING CAN’T CHANGE PERSONALITY The Biggest Factors in Child Development

FROM THE DESK OF DeDe Soto

HAPPY MAY

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there; even the mothers of furry friends!

As you prepare for the Memorial Day weekend and the kickoff to summer barbecues and fun, make sure to protect those you love. There are many ways to do this, especially if you have older family members. You want to make sure their bills are being paid and that they have healthy food available. But remember, socialization is the best way to keep the mind in a happy and safe place. So, don’t just provide for them, make sure to have friends and family visit them as well. To make sure you and your family are prepared please come to one of our workshops and become educated. The last thing you want in your life is a conservatorship over a loved one.

Until next time, many blessings,

If you’re looking to stir up some parental anxiety, all that’s needed is a quick Google search for “parenting books.”There, you’ll find countless volumes urging you to restructure your child- rearing strategy. Maybe you need to be sterner, start tracking their screen time, or engage in more meaningful play. Maybe you’re helping them out too much or leaving them alone with their thoughts too often. Or maybe, like many parents, you’re simply paralyzed by the overwhelming amount of parenting advice offered by professionals and well-meaning relatives alike. You’re expected to instill fitness habits that will keep them healthy for years to come, keep them stimulated to foster their intelligence and curiosity, and prevent them from hurting themselves or their chances for success down the road. Traditional thinking dictates that the responsibility of molding your kids into happy, well-adjusted adults falls squarely on your shoulders, hence the overwhelming flood of child-rearing manuals.

But what if all those books promising the perfect technique to pave the way for your children’s futures are wrong? What if your child’s future is molded, in large part, by external influences?

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THE PROBLEMWITH NURTURE ALONE

manner.”He argues that most of this research fails to zero in on the fact that parents transmit genes to their children and provide themwith a certain environment, which may have more meaningful effects on their development. A growing body of research indicates that the most influential factors that affect your child’s growth are “who you are, how much money you make, and where you live,” as David Roberts writes for Vox. While your parenting decisions can certainly affect your child’s quality of life, they are unlikely to do much in the way of preparing them for success down the line, or at least not nearly as much as their genetics, peers, and unique experiences will. Research shows that, generally, siblings who are raised by the same parents are unlikely to be much more similar to one another than if had they been separated their entire lives.

and neglect have powerful, long-term effects on a child that will follow them into adulthood. Pink says that you may not be able to change their personalities any more than you can change the personality of your spouse, but you can certainly provide a positive environment for them to live and grow in. Turning every single moment with your kids into a potential developmental tool or learning opportunity will drive you crazy, potentially cheapen the quality of your interactions, and force you to not be genuinely present in your child’s life. Parenting isn’t a process wherein a constructive input goes in and a well-adjusted child comes out. It’s a dynamic relationship, a life being lived in real time, and it should be enjoyed and considered on its own terms. Do your best and check out what research you can, but you should understand that your influence can only go so far. Your most important job is to be there for your kids and foster connections that they can carry with them for the rest of their lives.

In her novel, “The Nurture Assumption,” scientist Judith Rich Harris breaks down what she sees as the pervasive myth of the parent’s outsized influence on their child’s life. In it, she argues that the power of individual parenting styles has little sway when compared to genetic, cultural, socioeconomic, and environmental influences. This may sound shocking, dubious, and maybe a little disturbing to budding parents trying to get a grip on their challenging new venture, but it starts to make sense after you examine the research behind this new parenting philosophy. are useless.”By and large, he argues, they don’t control for heritability.“They measure some behavior in the parents; they measure some trait in the children; they show there’s a correlation, and they assume that correlation implies causation— it must have been the parenting behavior that shaped the child in the As Steven Pinker said in a lecture for his book “The Blank Slate,”“Most studies of parenting

SO, WHAT’S TO BE DONE?

Of course, as Steven Pinker says, these findings don’t mean that it doesn’t matter how you treat your children. Trauma, abuse, abandonment,

Genealogy Sites and the Warming of Cold Cases The Revolution in Forensic Science Continues to Captivate the Masses

We’ve come a long way in the field of forensic science since 1986, when DNA was first used to convict someone in court. In 2019, criminals who would have

Whatever the motivation was behind genealogy sites in the beginning, they’re now some of the most sought-after >Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5

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