Stevens Firm - April 2020

Stevens Firm - April 2020

What Matters Most

THE StevensFirm, P.A. Family Law Center

349 E. Main Street, Suite 200, Spartanburg, SC 29302 • www.SCFamilyLaw.com • (864) 598-9172 April 2020

The Stevens Firm COVID-19 Response & Updates

We hope this newsletter finds you and your family staying safe and healthy during these unprecedented times. As you are likely aware, federal, state, and local governments, along with the South Carolina judicial system, are rapidly adjusting to the ever-evolving coronavirus and COVID-19 situation, and it is incumbent on all of us to do our part. At The Stevens Firm, our top priority is the health and safety of our employees, our clients, and our local community; therefore, our law firm has been closely monitoring the situation and all the relevant guidelines and proclamations given by our local and state leaders. The chief justice of the South Carolina Supreme Court issued an historic order on Friday, April 3, 2020, which allows for the reopening of the South Carolina judicial system by way of handing many matters, including certain family court matters electronically and via web- conferencing software, where necessary. This has never been done before but will certainly ease the growing back-log of cases which have been canceled in the past few weeks due to the COVID-19 pandemic. For our clients, if you had a hearing scheduled in April, it has been canceled and we will notify you as soon as we have any updates about rescheduling. If you have a hearing in May or June, we will keep you posted about the means by which those hearings will be held as soon as we receive communication from the appropriate clerk of court and/or the

chief justice of the South Carolina Supreme Court.

While our family courts have been closed for all but emergency hearings, our physical office has remained open daily, until now. Given the ever-expanding community of those affected by this unprecedented viral contagion, we have decided that our firm’s operations will be handled virtually through at least April 30, 2020. Our staff will continue to answer our phones and we will continue to meet with clients, though all such meetings will take place via telephone or videoconferences.

Historically, we have planned and prepared for the possibility of virtual operation due to the upstate’s inevitable snow days each year, and we are prepared to work remotely now that the need is eminently upon us. Rest assured that even during this challenging time, we remain ready to continue to meet your needs, though our meetings and communications will be restricted to email, phone calls, and video conferencing for the time being. You can always reach our office by calling (864) 598-9172, and our staff will answer our phones during normal business hours 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday. If you reach our voicemail, please leave a detailed message and someone will return your call as soon as possible. We appreciate your patience as we work to respond to all inquiries and adjust to this new normal for the foreseeable future. From all of us at The Stevens Firm, we wish you and your family health, safety, and security over the upcoming weeks, and even if we may not be “seeing you” in person, we look forward to assisting you as best we can and to keeping your health and safety as our first priority.

–Jenny Stevens

Reminder About Our Firm’s Communication Policy Our promise to you is that while we are working on your case, we don’t take inbound phone calls, faxes, or emails. Our Senior Partner, Ben Stevens, takes no unscheduled inbound phone calls, as we have found this makes him much more productive and enables him to focus on getting your case resolved faster. You can always call our office at (864) 598-9172 and schedule an in-person or phone appointment with any of our attorneys, usually within 24–48 hours. We believe this approach is much better than the endless game of phone tag played by most businesses today. Email is also an efficient way to communicate with us, but please

be advised that emails are not typically checked more than twice per day. If you need something quickly, don’t email — call our office and speak with one of our assistants, who will be happy to help you. Disclaimer: This publication is intended to educate the general public about family law issues. It is not intended to be legal advice. Every case is different. The information in this newsletter may be freely copied and distributed so long as the newsletter is copied in its entirety and proper credit is attributed to “The Stevens Firm, P.A. — Family Law Center (SCFamilyLaw.com).”

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The Age of Stress

Helping Your Child Overcome Anxiety

How do I know if my child is stressed? When a kid is stressed, they will exhibit odd behavior and even undergo physical changes. Depending on your child’s age, watch for mood swings, changes in sleep patterns, headaches, trouble focusing, or withdrawal from the people around them. According to KidsHealth. org, younger children may also pick up habits like twirling their hair or sucking their thumb, while older kids may start to bully others, lie, or rebel. Can I help reduce their stress? According to KidsHealth.org, good nutrition, proper rest, and healthy attention are great ways to help kids manage their stress. Set time aside each day to talk and spend time with your children; talking about worries will reduce or relieve anxieties. If you know about an upcoming stressful situation, like a school exam or a health checkup, prepare your child by studying with them or talking to them about what to expect.

It’s hard to imagine kids as anything but carefree, happy, and eager to explore the world around them. However, children experience stress just like adults do, which can severely impact their typically cheerful dispositions. Since April is National Stress Awareness Month, now is an opportune time to familiarize yourself with tools and information that can help you alleviate your child’s stress. What are their stressors? Any number of everyday factors can lead to stress, and stress can plague anyone who feels overwhelmed. Toddlers and young children going to day care or school for the first time may experience separation anxiety due to being apart from their parents. Older kids and teenagers may feel mounting social and academic pressure. Even something as simple as overhearing loved ones arguing or seeing a sad news report can add to a child’s stress levels.

Don’t stop here. For more tools and information regarding stress reduction in children, visit KidsHealth.org or contact your doctor.

Thinking About Moving? Check Out the 5 Best Cities for Divorcees If you’ve recently come through a divorce and don’t have obligations here in South Carolina, you might be considering a change of scenery. Moving is tempting after a split because a new city can feel like a fresh start. But did you know that some cities might be better for divorcees than others?

This February, The New York Times reported that Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Detroit, Denver, and Pittsburgh are the best cities for divorcees to live in, according to a new LendingTree study. The study came up with that order after looking at 50 of the biggest metro areas in the country and analyzing relevant metrics. LendingTree zeroed in on things like the median income of divorced people in each city compared to other one-income families, homeownership rates among divorcees, renters’ expenses, the number of single people in the city, the ratio of men to women, and more. With all of those things taken into account, Minneapolis came out on top, followed by the other four cities we listed above. New York City ended up with the lowest score because of its small dating pool and high cost of living, with Memphis and Virginia Beach rounding out the bottom three. As the Times put it, “So sign the papers and head to the Midwest, perhaps, where the living is easier and the loving is better … according to the study.”

and friends live, and what kind of amenities you’re looking for in your new home. If you love the ocean, for example, a move to Minneapolis probably isn’t right for you. Whatever you choose, don’t forget to consult your family law attorney before you head out of state, particularly if there are complicating factors — like joint custody — in play. A competent, experienced attorney can help you weigh the risks and rewards of moving, and make sure you truly get the fresh start you’re looking for, without legal issues. If you’re ready to make the big move, call our team at 864-598-9172 before you head out.

Of course, you probably shouldn’t base such a big life decision on one report. Before you pull up stakes, consider things like where your family

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Easy Deviled Eggs While the kids hunt for Easter eggs in the yard, whip up this easy deviled egg recipe for a hearty snack that’s sure to satisfy any craving.

The Truth About Parental Guilt What Is It, and How Can You Cope?

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup mayonnaise • 2 tbsp milk • 1 tsp dried parsley flakes • 1/2 tsp dill weed • 1/2 tsp fresh chives, minced • 1/2 tsp ground mustard

• Salt, paprika, garlic powder, and pepper, to taste • 12 large eggs, hard-boiled • Fresh parsley, minced, and paprika for garnish

If you’re a parent, odds are you’ve felt guilty about something related to your kids. Maybe you still feel awful about that one time you raised your voice or worry that you haven’t done enough to encourage their dreams. These feelings are totally normal, but when they stick around 24/7, something called “parental guilt” sets in. Parental guilt is just what it sounds like: a crippling feeling of guilt related to parenthood. It’s particularly common among divorced parents, who worry about the damage their separation might cause their kids. According to psychologist and author Robin Grille, parental guilt is a “silent epidemic,” and there are a lot of reasons why it’s climbing. Here are just a few of them: • Thanks to advances in psychology, we know more than ever about how our kids develop and what they need. That makes it impossible to do everything “right.” • Therapy is on the rise, so more of us have looked deeply into our own childhoods and found toxic behaviors to avoid. • In part because of social media, we’re constantly comparing ourselves to other parents. As strange as it sounds, if you’re struggling with parental guilt, then you’re probably a pretty good parent. Feeling guilty means you’re self-aware and truly care about your kids. Here are a couple of things to remind yourself of next time the guilt swells, courtesy of Grille and psychologist Mary Widdicks: • Parenting is a work in progress, and no one is perfect! Every day is an opportunity to learn more and be a better parent. • You’re not alone. As the old saying goes, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Don’t hesitate to ask for help! • The word “should” sets you up to fail. Instead of hating yourself for not achieving the gold standard, inspire yourself by focusing on the benefits of acting a certain way or doing a particular thing. If you’re a divorced parent, your feelings are probably more complicated than most. Luckily, our team has helped hundreds of families take their kids through the divorce process, and we can help you, too! Visit SCFamilyLaw.com today to schedule a consultation so you can make sure, from a legal standpoint, you’re doing everything you can for your children.

1. In a large bowl, combine mayonnaise, milk, parsley flakes, dill, chives, mustard, salt, paprika, garlic powder, and pepper. Mix well and set aside. 2. Cut eggs lengthwise and remove yolks carefully to preserve egg whites. 3. In a small bowl, mash yolks. 4. Mix mashed yolks with mayonnaise mixture. 5. Spoon or pipe the mixture back into the egg whites. 6. Garnish with fresh parsley and paprika. Refrigerate before serving. Directions

take a break

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THE Stevens Firm, P.A. Family Law Center

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349 E. Main Street, Suite 200 Spartanburg, SC 29302

PAGE 1 Aiding You During This Crisis PAGE 2 Helping Your Child Manage Stress The 5 Best Places to Live Post-Divorce PAGE 3 Easy Deviled Eggs A Look at a ‘Silent Epidemic’ in Parenting PAGE 4 Eco-Friendly Diets

Save the Planet With Your Plate

The Top 3 Ways to Eat Eco-Friendly It can be difficult to see the connection between your plate and the planet, but scientists say that eating less red meat and processed foods can greatly reduce your environmental impact. About 25% of climate change today is fueled by agriculture and factory farming, particularly the large quantities of the greenhouse gas methane that cows produce.

Go Flexitarian If you want to eat more vegetarian meals but find animal products are too hard to give up, going flexitarian is a good compromise. A flexitarian eats mainly plant-based dishes but also includes a modest amount of poultry, fish, milk, and eggs with a limited amount of red meat. If you’re able to dedicate even just one week to trying a plant-based diet, it can help you get a feel for if you’re capable of making the switch. You may even realize that it’s not hard to change your diet, and you might find it fun to try a whole different range of flavors through vegetarian food as you “reinvent” your favorite meaty dishes.

Eat Plant-Based Diets The main goal of a plant-based diet is to replace animal products as the centerpiece of the meal. At least three-fourths of your meal should be vegetarian, but you don’t necessarily need to cut meat out altogether. For example, eating a Mediterranean diet can be very sustainable. Red meat is rare, and there’s a strong focus on legumes and vegetables. Adopt Meatless Mondays or Mornings If you’re not ready to commit to a plant-based diet, going vegetarian one day a week can be a great option. Adopting a plant-based diet one day a week or eliminating meat from one meal a day is a great way to reduce meat consumption.

This means that the fewer animal products you consume, the more sustainable your diet will be. Producing and packaging beef is 100 times more emissions-intensive than producing legumes. While a lack of protein is a common concern about plant-based diets, many dietary experts say that plant-based diets can meet nutritional needs. Also, proteins aren’t the only nutrient your body needs, and dozens of vegetables and starches can offer a combination of proteins that are as complete and healthy as beef or chicken. With April being Keep America Beautiful Month, here are some eco-friendly diet adjustments anyone can make to help preserve the planet.

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