The Bledsoe Firm - March 2022

The Bledsoe Firm - March 2022

The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 MARCH | 2022

4 TIPS TO ENCOURAGE POSITIVITY IN YOUR CHILDREN

HELP THEM CREATE A HAPPIER FUTURE

As parents, we want our children to find success in every area of life. To do this, they need to develop a positive attitude and outlook. This is much easier said than done. Genetics and environment both play a role in your child’s level of confidence and general attitude toward life, which means parents can have a positive influence. Positivity can help children overcome just about any problem that arises in their lives. It can help them approach problems creatively and solve them quickly. They’ll come out on the other side quicker than a child with a negative outlook. Encouraging confidence and positivity is one of the most important jobs we have as parents. If you’re unsure where to begin, try a few of the following methods. Let your children express their feelings. Feelings of sadness, happiness, shame, anger, or any other emotion during certain situations are normal, and our children are no different. You should never discourage your child from expressing their feelings. Instead, have them explain to you why they are feeling this way and reassure them that their feelings are normal. Help them spend more time looking for solutions to their problem than worrying or stressing about it. Your child will learn that problems can be solved, and they will begin to look at things in a more positive light. Be a role model for your children. Children often mimic the actions or behaviors of their parents, so we need to try to be the best

version of ourselves when around our kids. If your child sees you looking at life more positively, they will adopt similar behaviors. Our children observe our actions, feelings, and emotions, and will try to replicate them. If you’re constantly complaining or worrying about every issue in your life, your child will start doing the same.

Use encouragement and motivation. One of the biggest mistakes a parent can make is to scold their child for making a simple error or mistake. Instead, explain what they did wrong, the effect of their choice, and how they should do things

differently in the future. Furthermore, celebrate the successes of your child. When they do well in school, make sure they know you’re proud of them. Do the same when they do well or make the right decision in other areas. Teach your children about morality and values. Children don’t inherently know the difference between right and wrong. They have to be taught. When your child knows their values, they can make better decisions with confidence, without doubt, guilt, or regrets. Your children will find it much easier to adopt a positive attitude and outlook on life if they aren’t saddled with lingering guilt or fear of wrongdoing. Parents and mentors play a vital role in their children’s success and failure. The things we do influence whether they look at the world in a positive or negative way. Developing a positive outlook can help children achieve their goals and overcome any problem they may have, but it’s up to us as parents to foster that positivity and allow it to develop. —John Bledsoe

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W hy O ne M an S ued M ichael J ordan for $832 M illion I DON’T WANT TO BE LIKE MIKE Many people have been told they have a passing resemblance to a celebrity, and they usually have a funny story or two. To Allen Ray Heckard, his celebrity look-alike was no laughing matter. In 2006, he sued Michael Jordan for looking too much like him and ruining his life. Funnily enough, most people didn't think Heckard and Jordan looked alike at all. While each had a bald head, mustache, and a gold earring, the similarities seemed to end there. Many news stories noted that, compared to Jordan, Heckard is eight years older and 6 inches shorter.

The amount of the lawsuit was $832 million, and Heckard not only sued Jordan but also Nike, reasoning that the company helped Jordan achieve his incredible fame. The complaint argued that the resemblance to Jordan “has troubled Heckard’s nerves” and being stopped by fans caused him emotional distress for over 15 years. He requested damages for defamation, permanent injury, and pain and suffering. For someone tired of being “recognized,” Heckard didn’t shy away from media coverage. When asked how he arrived at the astronomical $832 million lawsuit figure, he gave this much-shared (yet difficult to parse) answer: "Well, you figure with my age, and you multiply that by seven and, ah, then I turn around and, ah, I figure that's what it all boils down to." When asked why he felt the resemblance to Jordan had affected his life so negatively, he could only answer, “I want to be recognized as me, just like Michael’s recognized as Michael.”

One question reporters did not appear to ask was why Heckard felt that Jordan should be held personally liable for hundreds of millions of dollars simply for his natural appearance. Sadly, we will probably never know the answer because the case ended rather unceremoniously. After a few weeks, Heckard dropped the lawsuit. He never publicly shared why, but a Nike spokesperson was glad to speculate that Heckard “finally realized he would end up paying our court costs if the lawsuit went to trial." In the end, many '90s kids would argue that Heckard was most guilty of looking a gift horse in the mouth. After all, there is no higher achievement than to “be like Mike.”

3 SUBTLE ALIENATION TACTICS USED BY NARCISSISTS

If you were married and had kids with a narcissist, you may notice them trying to alienate your child from you. Parental alienation is when one parent attempts to sabotage or undermine their child’s relationship with their other parent. They’ll use many different methods to damage that relationship such as gaslighting and psychological manipulation. Narcissists are all about mind games. A narcissist who can manipulate adults will have no problem doing the same to their children. Parental alienation is a form of child abuse and can cause irreparable damage to the relationship between child and parent. You need to be vigilant and watch for signs of parental alienation. You may also need to take steps to prevent it from happening in the first place. If you’re unsure what to look for, we’ve gathered three of the most common alienation tactics used by narcissistic parents. They ‘accidentally’ allow the child to overhear or come across derogatory information. It’s not surprising to find your child eavesdropping on private conversations or looking at items they found. But if a parent is trying to sabotage your

relationship, they may leave out sensitive documents or items that put the co-parent in a negative light. They may also have phone conversations where they discuss the other parent negatively within earshot of the child. They target the other parent’s relatives and close friends. A narcissistic parent won’t just try to threaten your relationship with your child. They will also threaten their relationship with anyone associated with you. If they can damage the relationships the child has with people inside your circle of influence, it will inevitably damage their relationship with you. They ask the child to keep a secret from the other parent. It doesn’t really matter what the secret is, but the fact that they’re telling your child to keep something from you is a bad sign. This sets up a scenario where the child will begin trusting the one parent less because they were told they couldn’t be trusted with secret information. It might seem harmless at first, but it can fester and damage the relationship.

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SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS IN A MILITARY DIVORCE

Sprout Women

Marriage is not always easy, but some situations cause more complications than others, especially if a couple decides to get a divorce. One of these situations is when the divorce includes parents from different countries. After the divorce, one parent might want to leave the country, which makes it difficult to ensure alimony is paid and child custody arrangements can be a nightmare. Military divorces can be just as tricky. When it comes to military divorces in California, many circumstances and situations must be taken into consideration that wouldn’t apply in a civilian divorce. Here are three of the biggest challenges in a military divorce. Deployment and Uncertainty Over Custody People within the military realize that deployment is part of the job, but it can create many problems related to divorce in California. Former spouses involved in a military divorce need to work with California lawyers with creative solutions for handling deployment. Workarounds are possible. The ins and outs of custody during deployment, in addition to custody arrangements after deployment is over, must all be considered as part of a military divorce. Primary Residence in a Military Base In California, it’s typical for one spouse to take possession of the primary residence after a divorce. If that residence is on a military base, only the spouse serving in the military can continue to reside there. This eliminates the opportunity to negotiate the primary residence for reduced alimony or spousal support, which makes it more difficult to fairly split the other marital assets. Where to File If you’re in the military, you may own property in one state while being stationed in another state. This creates a question of residency and where to file for divorce. Most couples do not have any choice in where to file, but in a military divorce, it’s possible to consider venues that have laws favorable to your side of the case. If you’re going through a military divorce or have questions regarding the divorce process, give our firm a call. We handle divorces of all complexity, and our team is ready to take your case.

SIMPLE BOK CHOY CHICKEN SOUP

Inspired by TheSpruceEats.com

INGREDIENTS

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3 cups chicken broth

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1 tsp red pepper flakes

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2 tsp soy sauce

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2 tsp sesame oil

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1 garlic clove, chopped

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10 leaves bok choy, thinly sliced

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2 cups shredded rotisserie chicken

DIRECTIONS

1. In a medium saucepan, bring chicken broth to a boil. 2. Stir in red pepper flakes, soy sauce, sesame oil, and garlic. 3. Add bok choy leaves and rotisserie chicken. Simmer for 10 minutes or until the bok choy is dark green and tender. 4. Enjoy with slices of your favorite whole-wheat bread!

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Inside

4 Tips to Encourage Positivity in Your Children

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Someone Sued Michael Jordan?

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3 Subtle Alienation Tactics Used by Narcissists

Special Considerations in a Military Divorce

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Simple Bok Choy Chicken Soup

Get Healthy While Spring- Cleaning!

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IT’S MORE THAN JUST TIDYING UP 4 HEALTH BENEFITS OF SPRING-CLEANING

Sunday, March 20, is the first day of spring — which means it’s time for some spring-cleaning. Did you know that cleaning is not just about tidying up a physical space? It’s also about improving overall well-being. Here's how organization and cleanliness can help you in more ways than you might expect.

clutter is a great way to boost your mood and increase those feel-good hormones.

in your home, your respiratory system is greatly affected too. Deep-cleaning your air filters and vents can make breathing effortless — and it’s truly amazing how this can improve your well-being. It keeps you more active. Off the couch and on your feet! Even just running the vacuum and clearing the clutter from the dining room table will get you up and moving, which is healthy for your heart and body. This spring season, putting some elbow grease into your cleaning will benefit you in more ways than one. Trust me, you’ll thank yourself later!

It prevents illnesses. Doorknobs, refrigerator handles, light switches, countertops, and remote controls are all things we touch many times a day. Cleaning anything that’s used often is one way to reduce the spread of germs. By keeping household surfaces clean, we help thwart the spread of viruses and illnesses. Spring-cleaning helps you breathe better. Spring often brings pollen that triggers allergies for many. But pollen isn't the only thing to blame when people have difficulty breathing. When dust and pet dander build up

Spring-cleaning reduces stress and depression. Tidiness and mental health are actually

connected. Studies have found that having a clean home is directly correlated to happiness and your ability to focus. Anxiety can spike when laundry is piling up, items are strewn everywhere, and papers get scattered on various surfaces within the home. Clearing the

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