The Manely Firm, P.C. - August 2022

The Manely Firm, P.C. - August 2022

All family law. All around Georgia. All around the world.

A ugust 2022

T o E rr I s H uman

TO FORGIVE IS DIVINE

Throughout our lives, we will wrong other people, and other people will wrong us. Moving forward from that hurt often requires forgiving ourselves and other people. August 1 is International Forgiveness Day, and forgiveness is a concept I think about often. It is central to my practice of family law and my faith that God has given us the gift of grace. In my experience, most long-term conflict and post-divorce strife we see among co-parents has its roots in an inability or refusal to forgive. At one point, the couple loved and respected each other enough to get married and have a child together. But then, one or both of them did something to hurt the other, and the marriage fell apart. Too often, one or both halves of the couple decide the rest of their relationship will be defined by the wrongs committed instead of the mutual love and admiration they once had. I think the choice to forgive is paramount to former spouses’ ability to build a healthy co-parenting relationship with each other, but that doesn’t mean forgiveness is easy. It’s not even a one-time event because the actions will continue to resonate. Those actions are why the kids have to live in two different households, a property needed to be sold, or the savings were depleted. Each new consequence serves as a reminder and requires one to forgive anew. The Manely Firm has been undergoing compassion and integrity training this year, and one of the things that stuck out to me was the common humanity we share. A particular lesson urged us to remind ourselves, “This person wants [blank] as much as I do.” The blank could represent any number of things — safety, peace, stability, or happiness. But while our shared humanity can bring us together, it also makes us imperfect. We’re all capable of making mistakes, and we’re all capable of forgiveness. Just as important as learning to forgive other people is learning to forgive ourselves. Nobody’s perfect. When I help clients prepare for trial, I always explain that the judge isn’t looking for a flawless spouse — they’re looking for honesty. And unfortunately, telling the truth often means admitting in open court that you did something wrong.

Being able to admit your mistakes requires the ability to give oneself grace. It’s human nature to want to downplay, excuse, or lie about actions that make us feel ashamed. It takes maturity and bravery to forgive ourselves enough to say, “Yes, I did that — and I’m sorry about it.” But it always results in a better legal and emotional outcome. Abuse presents a far less clear-cut forgiveness model. Some abuse victims choose to forgive, but forgiveness too often helps perpetuate the abuse cycle. Forgiveness is not about agreeing that the other person’s actions were acceptable or creating the circumstances for them to occur again. People should work through these distinctions with a trained professional. Regardless of which side of the forgiveness equation you’re on, we recommend therapy to work through the unresolved feelings from your marriage. You’ll almost certainly learn something about yourself and the best way to move forward in the next stage of your life. Whether or not that includes forgiveness is up to you — but more often than not, those who forgive seem happier and healthier in the long run. –David Purvis 1

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E xplore K id -F riendly Y ou T ube C hannels AND ENHANCE YOUR CHILD’S LEARNING

Netflix Jr. In 2022, Netflix will launch Netflix Jr., where kids can watch feature characters from their favorite shows, like “StoryBots” or “Super Monsters.” Children can learn and sing along with engaging content like the “ABC Jamboree” or educational videos like “What Makes an Airplane Fly?” See all the fun at YouTube.com/c/NetflixJr/featured.

Every family has their own approach when it comes to their children watching online content. The vast world of videos and channels in the media can be dicey. When media is used thoughtfully and appropriately, though, it can enhance your child’s learning experience. Here are four great YouTube channels for your kids, or even your whole family, to watch. Dodo Kids After years of parents telling The Dodo they loved watching their videos with the whole family, Dodo Kids was created. This channel is great for kids who have an interest in or passion for animals and enjoy watching cute, heartwarming animal videos. This channel features kid hosts, funny voice-overs, and colorful graphics to make stories fun and engaging. Check out the cuteness at YouTube.com/c/TheDodoKids/featured.

Crash Course Kids From the producers of Crash Course, this new channel for kids highlights grade school science. They focus on the Earth, habitats, space, chemical reactions, engineering, and much more. Many teachers and home-school parents use Crash Course in their classrooms because it’s full of engaging topics and enhances the learning experience visually versus reading from a textbook. Discover what you can learn at YouTube.com/c/crashcoursekids/featured.

PBS Kids This channel is committed to making a positive impact in the lives of children through their curriculum-based media. A large inventory of educational videos feeds your child’s curiosity about science, the world, or even emotional challenges they may face. To kids, it’s just an interesting video, but in reality, they’re getting a deeper understanding of the world they live in. Give it a try at YouTube.com/c/PBSKIDS/featured.

YouTube can be a great outlet for children to learn and engage their creativity. They can discover new interests, learn from diverse perspectives, and even enjoy a greater sense of community. Who knows? You might even learn something along the way!

A D epth of U nderstanding MEET PARALEGAL STEPHANIE MCCOLLUM!!

When Stephanie McCollum applied for a receptionist job at a Macon family law firm, she had no idea where it would lead her. She arrived for her interview only to find no one at the front desk and the phones ringing off the hook. “After hours of waiting, I started answering the phones and taking messages,” she says. No one told her to stop, so Stephanie returned the next day and did the same. “One of the partners walked by and said, ‘Who are you?’” she remembers. “I said, ‘I’m your new receptionist!’” The initiative paid off, and within three years, Stephanie had become a paralegal. “I just fell in love with helping people when they’re in such vulnerable situations,” she says. “It’s really fulfilling, and even the smallest things like drafting documents can help.” Stephanie joined The Manely Firm in September 2021. “The paralegal team here is top-notch, and we work really well together,” she says. “I absolutely love my coworkers, and I know that I can count on them. It’s amazing to work with a team that has your back.” Last year, Stephanie found herself on the other side of the family law equation when she and her husband of 25 years divorced. “It was my first experience going

through the thing I help people with every day, and now I have a totally different view and a more in- depth understanding of how to help people,” she says. After spending her life in Macon, Stephanie decided to start over in Atlanta with her three daughters. “We moved up here because I wanted my kids to have more opportunities, meet new people, and live in a different type of environment,” she says. “I’m excited to give them an eye-opening experience of what’s available to them.” Stephanie is getting the hang of being a single mom to her 14-year-old twins, Ava and Emma, and her 21-year-old daughter, Marah. The family has two cats and a rabbit, though Stephanie notes, “The rabbit thinks he’s a cat.” She enjoys running, yoga, and caring for her plants. After all these years, Stephanie still gets the most fulfillment from interacting with her clients. “I always remind them that regardless of how difficult the situation is, it’s temporary. Having someone who understands where they’re coming from can be such a relief,” she says. “Most people just want to know there’s somebody on their side.”

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“Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.” —V ivian K omori

R estaurant -S tyle C hicken M arsala

Surviving Your First Post- Divorce School Season Parenting is already hard enough, but it gets even more complicated after a divorce. With summer ending and school starting soon, newly divorced parents are facing questions about how to best prepare their kids and work effectively with their ex. We’ve got some tips for those looking to survive their first back-to-school season as co- parents instead of a married couple. Coordinate in advance. Every school year has countless moving parts, and it’s especially difficult for divorced parents to keep track. So, it helps to put a plan together before school starts. Decide on a back-to-school budget, who will pay for different supplies, and who will do the shopping. Talk about parent-teacher conferences and how you’ll communicate about homework, field trips, discipline, or other school- related matters. And don’t forget to work out a schedule for pick-ups, drop-offs, and extracurricular activities. Present a united front. What any kid needs most after a divorce is to know that both parents still love them. That’s why we recommend that both parents be present on the first day of school. These milestones matter to kids, and putting aside your differences to be there for them will remind them that they still have a family, even though it looks different. It’s also good practice for graduations, weddings, and other life events. You will still see your ex — get used to it early. Be flexible. Remember, your kids are still figuring things out, too — and the new school season is a big deal. So, older kids might have opinions about their schedule or want to spend more time with friends they haven’t seen in months. And that means they might want to spend the night or weekend in a different place than you planned. We’re not encouraging you to throw your parenting plan out the window, but giving kids a bit of grace helps them feel in control and like their opinions are valued. And that can make a big difference when their world has been turned upside down. You and your ex are no longer married, but at least until your kids are grown, you’re still a team. Make sure to act like one. It might not be easy, but it could be the most important lesson any of you learn this school year.

Inspired by FoodNetwork.com

I ngredients

• • •

1 cup flour, for dredging Salt and pepper, to taste

• • • • •

4 oz prosciutto, thinly sliced

8 oz mushrooms

4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, pounded to 1/4-inch thick 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil

1/2 cup Marsala wine 1/2 cup chicken stock

•

2 tbsp butter

D irections 1. In a bowl, mix flour, salt, and pepper until evenly distributed. 2. Add chicken to flour mixture and coat all sides. Shake off any excess. 3. In a large skillet over medium-high heat, add olive oil. Once hot, add chicken to the skillet. Work in batches if pieces don’t all fit in the pan. Cook each side for 5 minutes until golden brown. 4. Remove chicken to a platter. 5. Lower heat to medium. Add prosciutto to pan and sauté for 1 minute. Add mushrooms and sauté until browned, about 5 minutes. 6. Add Marsala to skillet. Let it come to a boil, then add the chicken stock and simmer for 1 minute. 7. Stir in the butter and add chicken back into the skillet. Let simmer gently for an additional minute, then serve.

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211 Roswell St. NE Marietta, GA 30060 (866) 687-8561 www.allfamilylaw.com

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Forgiving Your Spouse (and Yourself) After Divorce

Choose the Best Channel for the Family Meet Paralegal Stephanie McCollum!!

Back-to-School Co-Parenting Tips Restaurant-Style Chicken Marsala

A Lucky Number for Ketchup

H einz K etchup and 57

THAT MANY VARIETIES?

As you’re walking through your supermarket, you may see Heinz Ketchup and other Heinz products on the shelves. Have you ever noticed the “57” on the bottle? Does it mean there are 57 varieties of Heinz products? Why that number? Let’s take a trip down memory lane to find out. The Origins Henry John Heinz invented ketchup by adapting a Chinese recipe for a condiment called “Cat Sup.” This product was a thick sauce made from tomatoes, seasonings, and starch. Heinz marketed this mixture and began selling his creation to the public in 1876. But ketchup wasn’t the first thing he created. When Heinz was 25, he wanted to market his mother’s grated horseradish, so he decided to put the product in clear jars to show its quality. The product became a success! This form of marketing had never been done before, so Heinz took advantage of it and began creating more products to sell in glass jars. Heinz became a fan favorite after selling and providing samples of his condiments at the Chicago World’s fair in 1893. The Number 57 Heinz wanted something more to attract customers, and he decided having a number on his jars would do the trick. So, he began picking random numbers to see what would be memorable. He tried 53 and 59, but he claimed they weren’t

catchy enough. Then, he tried 57. It looked great on jars, so he decided to coin the “57 varieties” slogan in 1896. But there aren’t 57 varieties. Some people theorized that when he created the slogan, perhaps he sold 57 bottles, but he actually sold 60. The truth is that Heinz thought 57 sounded like a lucky number. Having 57 varieties was just a marketing tactic

he used to attract customers, yet if you search how many varieties there actually are today, you’ll still see 57 as the answer. We may never know the actual number of varieties Heinz created. Either way, the number 57 is part of what keeps people coming back for more and has made Heinz the leading brand of ketchup in the United States.

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