Trinity Elder Law - February 2022

Trinity Elder Law - February 2022

Peace of Mind Post

FEBRUARY 2022

For the past 25 years, I have had two friends I know I can rely on. I met them when we were all in eighth grade. (I don’t like to think about how long ago that was!) And through our various life changes, I always know I can call them, and we will pick up right where we left off. I’d venture to say they blur the line between friends and family. I know they would support me if I ever needed it. There’s tremendous value in these kinds of friendships and having friends in general. Staying connected and socializing is an important part of aging, and many elder experts recommend maintaining friendships as you age. From a health standpoint, friendships keep us young and can help stave off the effects of chronic conditions. A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association — Internal Medicine found that adults aged 60 and older who experienced regular loneliness were at an increased risk of premature death. Simply put, having friends could help you live longer! As an elder law expert, I believe friendships have an added benefit. Far too often, we find that people feel compelled to name their family members as powers of attorney, executor, and other significant roles within estate planning, yet they aren’t that close. Furthermore, sometimes the people they choose purely out of familial obligation do not have the skills necessary to complete the tasks they are being given. Parents may feel it’s their children’s responsibility to take on these roles, but I’m here to say differently. You don’t owe anyone anything in your estate plan. These legal documents are designed to meet your needs, protect your wishes and assets, and function as an extension of your mind. While family can be a valuable component of estate planning, I strongly encourage clients to think about everyone in their WHY FRIENDSHIPS ARE A VALUABLE PART OF ESTATE PLANNING YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY

Amuch younger me and my friend Stacey - the eighth grade was a long time ago but we’re still close friends.

life when estate planning. There’s a good chance you have a friend or two who would make perfect additions to your estate plan.

When choosing people for these responsibilities, think about the strengths and weaknesses of those you are selecting. That will help you determine the right person for each role. What’s more, we have often found that friends don’t see these responsibilities as a burden; instead, many are honored by the designation! While you may worry that you are assigning a job to a friend, they may feel a stronger kinship toward you because of this honor you are giving them. You are saying, “I trust you. I love you. And I want you to be the person who helps my family and me with this.” It’s a powerful lesson in the value of friendship. Far too often, we forget that it’s not blood or heritage that makes someone your family. Sometimes, it’s the people we haven’t spoken to in years yet could call on a whim or the friendships that have stood that test of time that prove family is the community you choose. If you have questions about how you can incorporate your friends into your estate plan, and how to have these discussions with those you are assigning tasks to, please contact our team today. We have a lot of experience in this area and are happy to help.

724.256.8850

1

How to Know if You M

PALLIATIVE VS. For families facing chronic and life-altering and life-threatening diagnoses, palliative and hospice care can provide necessary support, medical treatment, and resources. However, there is a distinctive difference between the two, and discerning that will be key to choosing the right one. Palliative Care There isn’t one, easy definition of palliative care, but it encompasses a few concepts. Patients who enter palliative care are diagnosed with chronic conditions, including Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, cancer, and serious heart conditions. In palliative care, these patients may receive medical treatment for their disease — in some cases, with the hope of being cured — and to help relieve symptoms. The latter treatments make treating the disease easier and more effective. Patients also rely on other health care experts, such as nutritionists, to help create a comfortable, healthy lifestyle. This type of care can be done at home or in a medical or aging community. Hospice Care Palliative care can lead to hospice care, if treatment for a chronic condition is not working. Hospice providers are trained

FINDING LOVE IN YOUR GOLDEN YEARS

IT’S NOT IMPOSSIBLE

Valentine’s Day can be tough for anyone, especially someone who has gone through a divorce, lost their spouse, or decided not to get married later in life. But love can still be in the air. Let’s get you started down the right path by clarifying two very common misconceptions! Older singles are not closed-minded. Contrary to popular belief, a survey from OurTime states that 63% of middle-aged individuals are more confident now than they were in their 20s. Also, 25% of participants said they have a better outlook on life. You may very well be more optimistic about life as you grow older, mature, and gain life experiences. Commitment is a possibility. Casual dating may be popular, but many older individuals are still open to the idea of marriage. The OurTime survey shows that almost half of the participants want to get married. It may take them longer to commit, but that’s because they want true and meaningful connections. That being said, here are two tips to help you in your search for love. Love yourself first. During your golden years, you’ve defined who you are. By learning more about yourself, you begin to love your individuality. Plus, you’re experienced now, and you’ll have a good idea of what you want in a partner. It is never too late to join online dating sites. Online dating isn’t just a trend for youngsters, and there are plenty of dating sites for people over 50. These sites can help you meet new people wherever and whenever you want. Some of the most popular sites are SilverSingles, OurTime, Match, and eharmony. These sources are user-friendly, personality-tested, and identity-verified. Finding love in your golden years can be a challenge, but anything is possible. Enjoy the time that you have and where you are in life. Whether you remain single, casually date, or decide to marry, your happiness, joy, and contentment are all that matter.

Puzzle Time!

Answers:

www.TrinityElderLaw.com

2

Made the Right Decision

HOSPICE CARE

FULFILLING ‘IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH …’ Navigating the Complexities of Spousal Caregiving When you enter into a marriage, you pledge to love and support your spouse “in sickness and in health.” Some marriages test this vow more than others, and as you age, the likelihood that one of you will have to care for the other after a mental or physical ailment increases. Stepping into this role can be perilous. However, you can avoid common pitfalls and foster a healthy marriage. Here’s how. First, acknowledge it is hard. Providing care for someone else is difficult, and when that person is your spouse, complications can arise because you are taking on a new role within the relationship. Being tasked with medical care, household chores, bills, and other responsibilities that were once split is a major shift. You may feel unappreciated or ignored while your spouse may struggle with feelings of inadequacy or a lack of control. It’s a transition that shouldn’t be entered into lightly. Then, seek professional guidance. What this may look like for each couple varies. Some couples may be capable of handling the day-to-day routines of caregiving and household maintenance, but they may struggle with intimacy and connection when these roles shift. In these cases, a therapist or counselor can help each person discuss their feelings in a safe, effective way. Other couples may find that one spouse is struggling to complete all their added responsibilities. Perhaps a handyman company could take care of household chores, or an at-home caregiver could relieve complicated medical duties. Either way, an extra hand can help the spouse in charge of caregiving succeed. Finally, set boundaries. Remember, you are spouses first. The way you connect with each other is just as important today as it was when you were both healthy and independent. Set aside time to connect as a couple, whether that’s by going out for a designated date night, playing your favorite games, or listening to your favorite music together. Finding ways to still be a couple — without giving or receiving care — is necessary for your marriage to thrive. Likewise, caregivers should schedule time for regular respite to ensure their emotional, physical, and mental needs are met.

to provide comfort and care that adheres to a high quality of life to those who are dying. With round-the-clock care, patients are able to die how they wish and receive the comfort they need in their final months and weeks. It’s important to remember that a person’s prognosis can include months, not just days and weeks to live, to live when choosing hospice. This allows family members to relinquish their roles as caregivers and focus solely on spending quality time with their loved one. It’s our experience that many families do not utilize hospice care long enough. Furthermore, hospice care can be stopped at any time, should a person improve or opt for further treatment.

Hospice is not quitting; it’s a way of taking some control back from the illness.

If you or your loved one is struggling to determine end-of-life care, we can help. At Trinity Elder Law & Estate Planning, we outline options for all our clients, providing them with a sounding board to make the best decision. Please call us today with further questions.

NO-BAKE VALENTINE’S YOGURT DOG TREATS

Ingredients

•

1 1/2 cups oat flour (or pulverize rolled oats in the food processor)

•

1/4 cup unsweetened coconut flakes, shredded

• • •

1 tsp vanilla extract

• • •

1 cup coconut flour

2 tbsp dried pomegranate seeds

1 cup plain, nonfat yogurt

1 tbsp coconut oil

1/3 cup strawberries

Directions

1. In a food processor, combine all the ingredients. 2. Pulse until they have reached a desired consistency. 3. Roll the mixture into balls, squeezing tightly as you go. The size will depend on what you think your dog would prefer. 4. Chill in the refrigerator before serving. Inspired by Rover.com

If you have further questions about long-term care, please contact Trinity Elder Law at 724-256-8850.

724.256.8850

3

340 N. Main St., Suite 103 Butler, PA 16001 724.256.8850 www.TrinityElderLaw.com

PRST STD US POSTAGE PAID BOISE, ID PERMIT 411

INSIDE This Issue

1

Have You Included Your Friends in Your Estate Planning?

2

Dating Sites Aren’t Just for Youngsters Palliative vs. Hospice Care: What’s Better for Me? No-Bake Valentine’s Yogurt Dog Treats 3 Steps to Overcoming Challenges in Spousal Caregiving Humpback Whales: The Heroes of the Sea

3

4

BY DIALING 911 The Heroes of the Sea In the movie “Castaway,” we see a whale notifying Chuck Noland of a nearby ship. The whale continuously sprays him with water to get his attention. Although this is a fictional story, what happened in “Castaway” isn’t just movie magic. There are real-life stories about whales helping people in need.

HUMPBACK WHALE SAVES SCIENTIST

all, trying to tuck me under his huge pectoral fin … I was sure that it was most likely going to be a deadly encounter.” Hauser didn’t know the whale wanted to protect her until she returned to her team’s research vessel. This is when she noticed the tiger shark creeping nearby. This isn’t the first time a humpback whale has intervened to help another creature. In fact, the humpback’s altruism has been well-documented over the years to show how they benefit other species at their own cost. In 2009, Robert Pitman took a photo of a humpback cradling a seal while rolling out of the water. The whale had protected the seal from a group of killer whales. Pitman, a marine biologist, has analyzed 115 interactions with humpback whales and concluded that they will travel long distances in order to prevent killer whales from attacking, regardless of what type of animal the killer whale is pursuing. Whether this behavior is out of instinct, accident, or altruism, they have saved the lives of many aquatic animals and people. They are the heroes of the sea!

In 2018, a marine biologist, Nan Hauser, was swimming in the waters off the Cook Islands when she noticed a 50,000-pound humpback whale near her. For 10 minutes, Hauser swam around the whale while it nudged her with its head, bumped her with its belly, and swiped at her with its fins. At first, Hauser thought the whale was trying to attack her. But actually, it protected her from a 15-foot-long tiger shark on the other side of the whale. Hauser told the Daily Mirror, “I’ve spent 28 years underwater with whales and have never had a whale so tactile and so insistent on putting me on his head, belly, or back, and most of

www.TrinityElderLaw.com

4