Stevens Firm March 2018

A Love Story What Matters Most How I Met My Wife, Jenny (Part 2)

THE Stevens Firm, P.A. Family Law Center

349 E. Main Street, Suite 200, Spartanburg, SC 29302 • www.SCFamilyLaw.com • (864) 598-9172 March 2018

planned weekend visits around our children and our businesses, and eventually we introduced our kids to each other. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I wanted to marry Jenny, so I began planning the proposal. One of the first trips that Jenny and I ever took was to Charlotte, so I decided to surprise her with another trip there, where I planned to propose. During our trip, we went for a walk in a park — Freedom Park, to be exact. I didn’t have a real reason to give Jenny for going there other than it was a nice day, and I was nervous she would become suspicious. But I had a plan.

When I got back to the conference from my first-ever date (business meeting) with Jenny, I realized that my credit card was not in my wallet. And what better excuse to instant message Jenny than to tell her about my snafu? When Jenny sat down at her computer, she noticed an instant message from me that read, “Hi :).” She messaged me right back, and our conversations picked up right where we left off at lunch. After just one date, I realized that I really liked Jenny. Our conversation flowed naturally, we had similar backgrounds and goals, and she laughed at my jokes. After a couple of presentations, our mutual friend (the one who wanted to set us up) noticed that Jenny was smiling and blushing at her computer, so she messaged Jenny and told her to meet her in the bathroom during the next break. Jenny went and told our friend that she had just had lunch with me and that we were chatting on instant messenger. Our friend laughed and then said, “Don’t you realize that’s who I’ve been trying to get you to meet for months?!” After the conference, Jenny and I said our goodbyes and exchanged numbers. We talked on the phone for hours every night after the conference. Eventually, I told Jenny that I would like to start seeing her seriously, but I knew it was going to take some coordination since she was still living in Charleston. So, we

Before our trip, I had hired a local caricature artist to sit in the park. The plan was for Jenny and I to approach him randomly, and he would offer to draw our picture. I had arranged for him to draw a picture of me proposing, and when Jenny saw it, she’d also see me down on one knee presenting the ring. While we were walking, I skillfully guided Jenny toward the pond where the artist was seated nearby. Jenny noticed him working at an easel and even pointed him out to me and wondered what he was drawing. When I suggested we go take a look, she said didn’t want to bug him (not part of the plan!). However, I insisted, and we ventured over to peer over his shoulder as he worked. Eric, the artist, followed the script perfectly, offering to draw our picture and then asking all kinds of questions, leading Jenny to believe he was drawing us doing some beach activity at one the beaches Charleston is known for. But when he was finished and turned the picture around, it all became clear to Jenny. I pulled out the ring, got down on one knee, and asked Jenny to be my wife. She excitedly said yes, and we embraced. We still have that drawing, and we liked the artist so well that we even hired him to come draw caricatures of the guests at our wedding reception, which was a huge hit! We’ve been married for over five years now, and they have been the happiest years of my life. Jenny is a wonderful wife, mother, and business partner, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

Ben Stevens

Reminder About Our Firm’s Communication Policy Our promise to you is that while we are working on your case, we don’t take inbound phone calls, faxes, or emails. Our senior partner, Ben Stevens, takes no unscheduled inbound phone calls, as we have found this makes himmuch more productive and enables him to focus on getting your case resolved faster. You can always call our office at (864) 598-9172 and schedule an in-person or phone appointment with any of our attorneys, usually within 24–48 hours. We believe this approach is much better than the endless game of phone tag played by most businesses today. Email is also an efficient way to communicate with us, but please be advised that

emails are not typically checked more than twice per day. If you need something quickly, don’t email — call our office and speak with one of our assistants, who will be happy to help you. Disclaimer: This publication is intended to educate the general public about family law issues. It is not intended to be legal advice. Every case is different. The information in this newsletter may be freely copied and distributed so long as the newsletter is copied in its entirety and proper credit is attributed to “The Stevens Firm, P.A. — Family Law Center (SCFamilyLaw.com).”

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Parenting Your Adult Child

TREAT YOUR ADULT LIKE AN ADULT No adult wants to feel treated like a child. They need a support system, but they don’t need help with their homework anymore. Give them space and let them feel free to explore adult life. Don’t tell them what to do. Offer guidance only when it’s wanted. Be open with them about your mistakes so they can learn from your experiences as well as their own. LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN You can’t correct every parenting mistake you’ll ever make. If you find yourself trying to correct mistakes you made years ago, stop. You can accomplish much more by listening to your adult child now than you can by trying to right your past wrongs. Parenting young children involves a lot of talking. Now that they are older, take time to listen. LOVE THEM Just because your child isn’t under your roof anymore doesn’t mean they don’t need love. Love from a spouse or a child of their own will never fully replace a parent’s love. Let your child know you always have their back. Be proud of them and their accomplishments as an adult. Your love and support means just as much now as it did when you were raising them.

When your child packs their bags and strikes out on their own, your parenting journey isn’t over. It’s just different. Regardless of their age, distance from home, or stage of life, your child still needs a parent. You may not be changing diapers or teaching them to drive, but your child still needs your support. Here are three guidelines that will help you make the transition from parenting a child to parenting an adult.

Parenting an adult is an exciting adventure. Remember, while your relationship will change throughout the years, your child will never stop needing your love and support. How Will the New Tax Laws Affect You? The new tax laws will impact many Americans who are facing important

5. Before tax reform, few estates were subject to the estate tax, which applies to the transfer of property after someone dies. Now, estate tax applies to fewer people. The amount of money exempt from this tax, which was previously set at $5.49 million for individuals and $10.98 million for married couples, has been doubled. Keep in mind that none of these new regulations will affect your 2017 taxes. These laws will only be applied to 2018 taxes. The new tax bill is daunting, and it may be difficult to know how it’ll affect your life. If you have any questions, please feel free to call The Stevens Firm for more information.

decisions. Will you buy a home this year? Are you going to send your kids to school? Will you postpone your divorce? This is not a comprehensive list, but here are some of the changes you need to be aware of once this bill becomes law. 1. There are still seven income-based tax brackets, but the rates have changed. The new rates are 10, 12, 22, 24, 32, 35, and 37 percent. You can find out your bracket at money.cnn.com/interactive/news/ new-2018-tax-brackets. 2. The standard deduction has increased. For single filers, the standard deduction has increased from $6,350 to $12,000, and for married couples filing jointly, it’s increased from $12,700 to $24,000. 3. The child tax credit has doubled to $2,000 for children under 17, and it’s now available to more people in full. The entire credit can be claimed by single parents who make up to $200,000 and married couples who make up to $400,000. 4. Alimony payments are no longer deductible for the person who writes the checks. This provision will apply to couples who sign divorce or separation paperwork after Dec. 31 of this year.

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Zesty Zucchini Enchiladas

How South Carolina’s Common-Law Marriage Doctrine

Applies to Same-Sex Couples

South Carolina is one of only eight states that recognizes common-law marriage, which has been applicable to same-sex couples since 2015. However, questions still surround same-sex common-law marriage, and The Stevens Firm expects the state Supreme Court to make a final ruling in the near future. Until then, rely on the following definition of common- law marriage and South Carolina courts’ recent rulings to determine how this legislation might affect your case. WHAT IS COMMON-LAWMARRIAGE? A common-law marriage is a marriage where a couple lives together for a period of time and proclaims themselves married to friends, family, co-workers, and the rest of the world. However, this concept has not applied to same-sex couples until June 26, 2015, the date of the Obergefell Supreme Court ruling. This has left many couples wondering, “Have we been considered married since June of 2015 or the whole time we’ve met the requirements for common-law marriage?” The answer could have major implications for your case, affecting everything from spousal support to the division of assets and debts.

For a lighter take on enchiladas, go carb-free by swapping tortillas for zucchini!

Ingredients

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4 large zucchini

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2 teaspoons cumin

1 tablespoon olive oil or ghee 1 large onion, chopped 2 cloves garlic, minced

2 teaspoons chili powder 3 cups cooked, shredded chicken 2 cups shredded cheese

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Directions

1. Heat oven to 350 F. In a large skillet, heat oil. Add onion, garlic, cumin, chili powder, and salt to taste. Stir to combine. Add chicken and 1 cup enchilada sauce. 2. Use vegetable peeler to thinly slice zucchini. Lay out three slices, slightly overlapping, and spoon chicken mixture on top. Roll the zucchini “tortilla” and place on baking sheet. Repeat until all zucchini and chicken is used. 3. Cover the enchiladas with remaining sauce and sprinkle with cheese. Bake 20 minutes, and enjoy! SUDOKU Adapted from delish.com.

HOW ARE SOUTH CAROLINA COURTS HANDLING THIS ISSUE? So far, only one South Carolina case has dealt with same-sex common-law marriage. In his early 2017 decision in Parks v. Lee, York County family court judge Thomas White held that a same-sex couple who lived together for 28 years were common-law spouses, even though South Carolina legislation did not recognize their partnership. Normally, if there was an obstruction in a marriage, a couple would not be considered common- law spouses. However, White ruled that the same-sex South Carolina legislation was unconstitutional and therefore had no legal effect on the common-law marriage. Because the couple had a joint bank account, bought a home as co-mortgagors, and claimed each other as dependents on tax returns, they had been married since 1988 in the eyes of the court. This ruling dramatically impacted the outcome of the case. The attorneys at The Stevens Firm will continue to keep up with developing trends in domestic litigation in South Carolina and around the country. If you have any questions about your same-sex common- law marriage case, contact us at (864) 598-9172 to schedule an initial consultation.

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THE Stevens Firm, P.A. Family Law Center

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PAGE 1 How I Met Jenny, Continued PAGE 2 Adults Need Parents, Too Have You Read the New Tax Bill? PAGE 3 Go Carb-Free for Dinner

Same-Sex Couples and Common-Law Marriage PAGE 4 Book Review: ‘Extreme Ownership’

‘Extreme Ownership’: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win

teams, just bad leaders. They use examples from the battlefield and the boardroom to show that all failures can be traced back to poor leadership. LAWS OF COMBAT Simplify, prioritize, execute, and decentralize command. Applied to an office setting, these combat strategies show how simplifying plans and organizing priorities will improve your operational efficiency. While there is a need for clearly designated leaders, junior leaders must be empowered to make their own decisions — and their own mistakes. SUSTAINING VICTORY To drive their point home, Willink and Babin provide a plan for how to implement and sustain the concepts of extreme ownership. They highlight the importance of decisiveness and show you how to create planning checklists that enable your team to operate like one fluid unit. “Extreme Ownership” differs from other leadership books by emphasizing that there can be no leadership where there is no team. Its main points revolve around the importance of teams, not just individuals. Leaders who embody extreme ownership don’t just take the blame for mistakes — they own them.

Effective leadership is the most important key to success, and to say that “Extreme Ownership” will empower you as a leader is an understatement. Jocko Willink and Leif Babin use their experiences as former U.S. Navy SEALs to provide a backdrop for their views on leadership. Their stories put you right in the middle of the action, both on the battlefield and within the

confines of corporate America, in order to teach you invaluable leadership lessons. The book is divided into three main points and designed to make it as easy as possible for you to apply extreme ownership in your own life. WINNING THE WAR WITHIN Leaders are responsible for everything and everyone within their purview. Willink and Babin make the bold assertion that there are no bad

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