The Bledsoe Firm - January 2022

The Bledsoe Firm - January 2022

The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 JANUARY | 2022

In our culture, technology reigns king. Cellphones, computers, tablets, and other electronics have taken over our lives, and we depend on them for just about everything. It’s not just adults who are enthralled by electronics. Our children also enjoy using electronics for entertainment, school, and communication. It’s rare that you meet a kid who doesn’t love their tablet. Many people now wonder whether the boom in technology has been a good thing for our children or not. There are certainly many benefits to this new age of technology for children. They are able to communicate with their parents if they’re not with them and can research topics that interest them, just to name a few. But technology has also had a disheartening effect on the world of reading and books. In 2020, the National Literacy Trust published a study that suggested kids are reading less now than ever before. In 2019, only 26% of people under 18 reported they read every day. It was the lowest number in the study’s 14-year history. As parents, it should be our goal to encourage healthy reading habits in our kids from an early age. We can do this by reading to our children on a regular basis. Here are four of the greatest benefits that come with reading to children. Improves Their Listening Skills In order for your child to fully comprehend the book you’re reading, they will have to listen as you speak. This is especially true for younger kids who can’t yet read on their own. They rely on you to tell them the story; their job is to listen and pay attention. Scholastic has explained in the past that kids need listening skills before they can develop strong reading skills. If you find your child is struggling to listen, make your story more animated. Give characters different voices and have fun with the onomatopoeia. You will soon see a difference in their listening skills and attention span. Improves Language and Cognitive Development Multiple studies have shown that babies who are read to and talked to score higher in language and even problem-solving skills. By reading to your child, you are encouraging them to speak and learn from the stories. If you continue to read to your child as they get older, they will also develop a stronger vocabulary. They’ll learn new and more difficult words as time progresses and the books become more difficult. Prepares Them for Future Education If you’re reading to your child before they attend school, you are setting them up for success. They will be better prepared for the challenges that school will throw at them because they will have picked up some of your reading skills, especially if you’ve been reading together. The Benefits of Reading to Your Kids

Encourages Bonding Between Parent and Child We often don’t feel like we get enough time with our children on a daily basis. Setting some time aside every night to read to them can help rectify that. Research published by PubMed in 2008 suggests that kids feel secure when they’re being read to. It’s also worth noting that if a parent reads to their child with enthusiasm and does not treat it as a chore, the child will be more likely to view literacy and reading in a positive light. Reading to your children on a regular basis is important to promote growth, enthusiasm for learning, and bonding. Your child will request this activity night after night. In your time together, you’ll learn new interests your child is developing while encouraging them to learn as much as they possibly can. You may even find a new favorite book for yourself along the way!

—John Bledsoe

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EMBRACE YOUR INNER BOOKWORM 4 SECRETS TO FINDING TIME TO READ AS A BUSY PARENT

Make it a family affair.

When you think of reading, you might conjure up an image of yourself curled up next to a cozy fireplace, sipping on coffee, and reading the day away. However, with the hustle and bustle of daily life and raising kids, it's tough to find the time to truly dive into a good book. We know it’s important to read to our children, but we forget how valuable it is for them to see us reading, too.

Sometimes parents feel guilty when they take time for themselves that could be spent with their children. If this sounds like you, make time to read together — the kids read their books,

and you read yours! Some days, this may last 10 minutes, but other times, they may stay captivated longer. Either way, you are creating healthy habits for your kids while getting in a chapter for yourself, too! Swap out the movies for books. Once the kids are tucked in after a long day, it sounds so nice to park yourself in front of the television with a cozy blanket and mindlessly watch a good movie or an episode of your favorite show. However, instead of watching TV for an hour, dedicate some or all of that time to reading. This way, you're still making progress in your book.

So, how can you fit it into your schedule?

Don’t leave the house without a book. Whether you are waiting in the pickup line at school, at the dentist’s office, for your order at the coffee shop, or at your kid’s soccer practice, this downtime could be spent reading a chapter of your book.

Schedule reading time. This one sounds quite silly, but as parents know, if you don’t make time for something, it won’t get done. Plan out 30 minutes of reading time each day to allow yourself to get comfortable and read without distractions. The trick here is to make sure you don’t cancel on yourself!

No matter how you make the time to read, you will be glad you did. Good luck and happy reading!

When Your Child Marries a Narcissist ADVICE FOR PARENTS Be there for them. Additionally, let your child know you will be there for them if they are feeling down or having problems. You will always be there with a listening ear, and they can talk to you about any situation. Once again, do this without directly calling out their spouse. Attempt to get along with the spouse. Try your best to find some common ground between you and your child’s spouse. Talk about similar hobbies or interests. You don’t have to like their spouse, but you should make an effort because your child loves them. Suggest counseling or therapy. Your child might not see their spouse as a narcissist, but if hardships develop in the relationship, they may need an extra push toward counseling or therapy. They may need to hear from a professional that the difficulties in the relationship stem from the spouse’s narcissism, and then they can decide what to do. If the situation devolves and it appears that divorce is imminent, give our office a call. We would be glad to help you and your child through this difficult time.

Most parents want nothing more than for their child to grow up healthy, start a successful career, and marry someone they love and adore. You don’t necessarily influence who your child decides to spend the rest of their life with, but what should you do if they marry a narcissist? There’s no handbook to instruct you on what to do in this situation, so we decided to put together a guide for parents dealing with this situation. It will teach you how to respect your child’s wishes and help you interact positively with their spouse. Guide them. The worst thing you could do for your relationship with your child is tell them outright they married a self-absorbed narcissist. Instead, let them know you appreciate them and want to help them thrive in life. Remind them they deserve to be treated with respect and you hope to see that soon.

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W ord S earch Blanket Carnation Cold Emmys Football Garnet Janus Mittens Parade Resolution Snow Workout

What Happens if I Do Nothing? I WAS SERVED DIVORCE PAPERS

Going through a divorce is an incredibly difficult situation, and if you’re served with divorce papers, it can sometimes be shocking and disheartening. Upon receiving divorce papers, one of the biggest mistakes you can make is to ignore them and do nothing.

In the state of California, a “true default” divorce may occur when “more than 30 days have passed since the petitioner (the spouse/partner who started the case) served the petition and summons, and the respondent (the other spouse/partner) did not file a response (so he/ she “defaulted”) AND there

is no written agreement.”

Deep-Fried New Year’s ‘Cookies’

When this situation happens, the person who originally filed for divorce is essentially given a “blank check” to do what they like. They’ll typically need to show some effort toward making an equitable division

Inspired by MennoniteGirlsCanCook.ca

What do you get when you mix a cookie and a doughnut? A portzelky! This traditional Mennonite “New Year’s cookie” is perfect for sharing.

INGREDIENTS

of things, but they can finesse the numbers, undervalue or overvalue certain items, and do everything in their power to put themselves in the best position possible. They can take it a step further by drafting orders concerning sensitive and important matters, such as the division of property and debt, spousal/partner support, and even things relating to your children like custody, visitation, and child support. When you default, you lose your chance to make arguments about how these matters are settled, and you are at the mercy of whatever your spouse decides or allocates to you. If you’ve defaulted on a divorce summons, all hope is not lost. It will be an uphill battle, but with an expert divorce attorney by your side, you will get the advice you need on what steps to take next. You need to act immediately, though, because the situation is already rather difficult. Call our office today if you’ve defaulted on your summons, and we will do everything in our power to assist you.

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2 tbsp yeast

• • • • • •

1/4 cup butter, softened 2 1/2 cups milk, warmed

1/2 cup water, warmed 1/2 cup and 1 tsp sugar, divided

1 1/2 tsp salt 4 cups raisins 7 cups flour

•

5 eggs, beaten

4 cups canola oil

DIRECTIONS

1. In a large bowl, combine yeast, water, and 1 tsp sugar. Wait 10 minutes. 2. Stir in remaining sugar, eggs, butter, milk, and salt. 3. Fold in the raisins and flour. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap. Let the dough rise for an hour. 4. In a high-sided pot or deep fryer, heat canola oil

to 340 F. Line a plate with paper towels. 5. Drop a rounded tablespoon of dough into the oil. Fry until golden brown, then set aside on the plate. Poke the cookie with a toothpick. If the toothpick comes out clean, it’s cooked through! 6. Repeat until the batter is gone.

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PRST STD US POSTAGE PAID BOISE, ID PERMIT 411

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23101 Lake Center Drive • Suite 310 Lake Forest, CA 92630

Inside

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4 Benefits of Reading to Your Kids

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Make More Time for Reading

When Your Child Marries a Narcissist

I Was Served Divorce Papers. What Happens if I Do Nothing?

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Deep-Fried New Year’s ‘Cookies'

Stick to Your Resolutions — For Real, This Time

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For Real, This Time How to Keep New Year’s Resolutions

Start small. On Jan. 1, you’re probably enthusiastic about your resolution and ready to hit the ground running. Not so fast — doing too much too soon is a classic mistake. It’s okay to be excited, but working out until you’re sore all over or constantly eating salads you hate will turn your resolution into a chore that you’ll want to avoid. Start with light workouts or replacing some of your carbs with veggies. Once you get the hang of that, you’ll be ready to scale up slowly. Using these guidelines, you’ll make lasting changes that extend beyond February. Get 2022 started off on the right foot, and next year you’ll be ready to make a whole new resolution — and keep it.

New Year’s Eve has come and gone, and now that the champagne is finished and the decorations are put away, it’s time to buckle down and work on those New Year's resolutions. The only problem is ... your resolutions for this year and last year are the same. Change is tough, so you’re not alone in being unable to stick to your resolutions. This year can be different, if you want it to be. Here are some tips to keep you on track. Have a specific goal. Many resolutions are vague — along the lines of “exercise more” or “eat healthier.” That’s too ambiguous to inspire motivation, and vagueness leaves room for excuses. Make your goal more concrete, so you can measure your success. Specific goals

could include going to the gym three times a week, being able to bench a certain number of pounds, or only indulging in fast food once a month. Make your goal realistic — if it’s too drastic or difficult, it’s easier to give up. Have a plan. Bad habits are hard to break, so change won’t come about naturally. It’s important to consider how you’ll structure your day around your resolution and what obstacles you might face. When will you go to the gym, and what will you do if that time gets interrupted? How will you plan meals to avoid spontaneous drive-thru visits? Write down what you want to accomplish and all the things that might stand in your way. Then, figure out how you’ll deal with them before they happen.

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