The Bledsoe Firm - July 2021

The Bledsoe Firm - July 2021

The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 JULY | 2021

HELPING KIDS LAY THE FOUNDATION FOR THE FUTURE

THE SUMMER JOB

When you were growing up, did you have a summer job? A lot of us did. They were great at building character and helped take us out of our comfort zones. I still vividly recall some of my earliest “jobs.” While it wasn’t necessarily a summer job in the traditional sense, I got a taste of the working life when I was still in grade school. In the seventh grade, I did a lot of work helping my dad with his business. He cleaned other local businesses, such as bars and restaurants, making sure they were sanitary for their own customers. I helped mix various soaps and cleaning agents so they were ready to go before he headed out on a job. It wasn’t easy (there was a lot of mixing to do in large vats), and I certainly didn’t enjoy waking up in the early morning hours — especially before school — but it helped instill a positive work ethic in me. I didn’t realize it at the time, but as I got older, those early experiences laid down the foundation for what was to come. As parents and grandparents, we can do a lot of good encouraging our kids to get summer jobs. Coming from a family law perspective, summer jobs can give teenagers added stability in their lives, especially if their parents are going through a separation or divorce. This stability can be crucial as they navigate this major life change. From a parental perspective, kids can also benefit from any help they get from their parents, grandparents, or guardians. You can serve as a resource to help kids take their first steps in the working world. Helping them navigate their first summer job is the perfect time to do this because

there’s less pressure — and with so many jobs available right now, it isn’t necessarily difficult to find something, especially for teenagers who have little or no working experience.

Most young people don’t know how to look for jobs or write a resume. They may not know how to interview, either. As parents, we’ve been through the process. We can impart our knowledge and help guide them from beginning to end. Teaching kids how to write a resume and how to interview are not only great skills to pass on, but they’re also a great way to spend time with your kids! Of course, convincing your teenager to “get a job” is also a challenge. You certainly don’t want to push it on them, because that can create resentment. Instead, it’s important to focus on the benefits that come with getting a job — whether it’s a part-time summer job or something more long term. Money is one of the biggest benefits. It gives kids a chance to earn money they can spend on what they want and learn more about saving and budgeting. Beyond that, they gain practical work skills. And it doesn’t matter what job they get or position they hold, practical skills come with basically any job. That includes learning how to interact with employers, coworkers, customers, and so on. Kids also learn how to network, which may be the most important skill you can walk away with no matter the job. They may end up meeting new people and making connections they can call on later — maybe in college or post-college. The truth is that we can all benefit from more networking! There’s no denying the summer job has its benefits and is a great way to get kids out of the house to expand their horizons, even short term. Don’t be afraid to encourage your own teenagers to get out there and get their toes wet — and make sure you set some time aside to help them through the process as they land their first job and experience the world through new eyes. —John Bledsoe

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THEY EAT WHAT ON PIZZA?! 5 Wacky Pizza Trends From Around the World

3. Haggis Pizza (Scotland ) — Pizza may be the only semi-enjoyable way to eat haggis: a mix of sheep or calf offal, oatmeal, suet, and seasonings that are boiled in an animal’s stomach. Last year, Papa John’s got in on the action when it released a limited-edition haggis pizza in honor of a Scottish poet, Robert Burns. 4. Mockba Pizza (Russia) — This local pie comes topped with four kinds of fish (sardines, tuna, mackerel, and salmon), onions, herbs, and occasionally fish eggs. Most troubling of all, it’s served cold! 5. Chickpea Pancake Pizza (Argentina) — In Buenos Aires, locals top their super-cheesy pizza slices with fainá — chickpea pancakes cooked separately from the pies and balanced on top of each slice. Keep these pizzas in mind when planning your next international vacation! They might be tastier than they sound, and if not, they’ll still make great Instagram fodder. As actor Cole Sprouse once tweeted, “You're losing followers because you're not relatable enough. Try mentioning that you eat pizza. If that doesn't work, play the ukulele.”

Here in the U.S., pineapple is considered a wild and controversial pizza topping. Even celebrities take a stand. Justin Bieber is pro-pineapple, but Jimmy Kimmel is against it. According to a 2019 YouGov Omnibus study, only anchovies and eggplant are more hated. But in other parts of the world, the tangy yellow fruit is far from the strangest topping you’ll see! Here are five wacky pizza trends from around the globe that will either make you hungry or inspire you to sprint the other way. You may want to order a comforting cheese pie from your favorite local pizzeria before reading this, just in case. 1. Banana-Curry Pizza (Sweden ) — The Swedes first accessed bananas in 1944, and since then, they’ve put them on everything, including pizza which they top with tomato sauce, smoked cheese, banana slices, and curry powder. 2. Ketchup and Corn Pizza (Brazil ) — According to several sources, Brazilians swap pizza sauce for ketchup or tomato slices and top their pies with strange combinations of local ingredients like corn, beets, hearts of palm, and potato sticks.

UNDERSTANDING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER

When someone suspects their spouse is suffering from a serious personality disorder and starts researching the matter, it’s easy to get confused with all of the information available. What’s especially confusing is the overlap in the symptoms of various mental illnesses. Only a licensed clinician can diagnose someone, but if you’ve lived with someone for a long time, you're likely to know more about your spouse than any professional. What is borderline personality disorder? Borderline personality disorder is a mental health disorder that makes the individual unstable and affects their relationships with others. Some traits of borderline personality disorder include: • An intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection • A pattern of unstable, intense relationships, such as idealizing someone one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn’t care enough or is cruel • Rapid changes in self-identity and self-image, shifting goals and values, and seeing yourself as bad or as if you don’t exist at all • Periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality, lasting from a few minutes to a few hours

• Impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship • Suicidal threats, behavior, or self-injury, often in response to fear of separation or rejection • Wide mood swings lasting from a few hours to a few days, which can include intense happiness, irritability, shame, or anxiety • Ongoing feelings of emptiness • Inappropriate, intense anger, such as frequently losing your temper, being sarcastic or bitter, or having physical fights With borderline personality disorder, interpersonal conflicts with other people and the outside world most often trigger the shift. These shifts tend to be shorter, lasting minutes, hours, or days, but often no more than that. Our firm specializes in divorces and family law issues complicated by mental illness, including bipolar and borderline personality disorder. If you have questions or concerns related to divorce, separation, or any family law issue, and a personality disorder is involved, don’t hesitate to reach out. We’re here to help.

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Job hunting is often a stressful endeavor. You may scour websites like Indeed, LinkedIn, and Craigslist looking for a new opportunity. However, the AARP reports that scammers are making the job search even more challenging. Between 2015–2020, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) logged over 101,000 complaints related to fraudulent or misleading jobs and job agencies, a number that’s on the rise. In 2019, the FTC intervened when it learned that one company was contacting people through LinkedIn and other job websites with the intent of scamming job seekers. This company, Worldwide Executive Job Search Solutions, promised high- paying jobs. This is a common tactic among scammers, along with posting well-compensated work-from-home opportunities, which are more popular than ever. The catch was, this company asked job applicants to pay a fee in order to schedule an interview — requesting up to $2,500 in some cases. This particular job scam is often done through the guise of headhunting. The headhunter will reach out telling you “XYZ company” is interested in you. All you have to do is pay the fee in full and upfront to move the process along. Another common scam involves personal information rather than money. Job posters list fake jobs requiring job seekers to fill out an application. The application asks for personal details including name, address, phone number, and Social Security number. They may even ask for bank information for “verification.” The application is fake. The person or company behind the application is only interested in collecting personal >Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4

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