The Bledsoe Firm - July 2022

The Bledsoe Firm - July 2022

The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 JULY | 2022

DON’T LET THOSE SKILLS SLIP AWAY!

Kids view the summer as an opportunity to hang out with their friends, head to the beach, or do whatever they want, but continuing to practice what they learned in school is important. A study recently published in the American Educational Research Journal found that the average student loses 17%–34% of the prior year’s learning gains during summer break. If you want your child to retain what they learned over the school year, you need to keep their brains active. Not every parent knows how to encourage learning at home during the summer, so I gathered a few of my favorite tips to help your child retain what they learned in school. Establish a reading routine. According to Booksource, students who read during the summer gain an average of one month of reading proficiency. Those who don’t read lose an average of 2–3 months of reading proficiency. Over time, those lost months add up to years, and by high school, two- thirds of the reading gap can be attributed to summer learning loss. So, how do you encourage reading at home? First, invite your child to help you decorate a spot in the house for reading. Then take them to the library so they can choose books that interest them. You can even take turns reading to each other to create a great bonding experience. Establish a goal for the CONTINUE YOUR CHILD’S EDUCATION DURING SUMMER

summer where they read a certain number of books and keep track with a reading log. You can find many ways to encourage reading at home.

Incorporate math into everything. Math is a confusing topic for many kids, but we live in a world dominated by numbers. From keeping track of the score in a basketball game to ensuring we receive the correct change on a purchase, we use math and numbers every day. On average, students lose approximately 2.6 months of learning math when they’re away from school for the summer. Flashcards or worksheets can continue their math education during the summer, but you can also incorporate math into every activity you do. If you go buy something, have your child calculate how much change you will receive back. Make up word problems while you’re driving or eating to provide real-world examples. You can also find some great websites that provide math problems if you are unfamiliar with the concepts they have learned. Continue to write. Writing is another skill kids struggle with after their summer hiatus. Writing is fairly easy to incorporate into your children’s daily lives. They can practice their writing skills by writing letters to their relatives or friends. You can encourage your child to write in a journal or diary every day. You can even have them write out your grocery list to practice spelling. If you really want them to practice writing and thinking, have them write about the books they’re reading. That way you can gauge their reading comprehension and writing skills to see what needs more practice. Encouraging your child to continue learning throughout their summer vacation is extremely helpful. If they don’t practice, they can quickly fall behind their peers or have trouble with new concepts coming in the new year. If you want to ensure your kids stay on track, implement some of these strategies and make summer a fun learning experience for them. —John Bledsoe

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OCEANSIDE ACTIVITIES THE ENTIRE FAMILY CAN ENJOY The summer season is officially underway and many Americans are planning to take a trip to the beach to celebrate the occasion. If you’re going on a family vacation to the ocean for an extended period of time, you may be worried about keeping everyone entertained. That’s why we put together a list of some of our favorite oceanside activities to try this summer. Your summer vacation will be filled with fun and excitement after trying some of these great activities! GET ACTIVE. There’s nothing more relaxing than sitting on the beach and listening to the calm repetition of the waves, but maybe you want a little more excitement by the ocean. If that’s the case, there are plenty of sports to try. You can bring a football and throw it around in the water or on the beach. You can buy a net and set up a game of beach volleyball to get everyone involved, or you can try one of the many new beachside sports hitting the market like TidalBall, pickleball, and Spikeball. TidalBall is the beach version of cornhole, so if you haven’t played it yet, you definitely want to check it out.

EXPERIENCE NATURE. The wildlife and environment of the beach are most likely drastically different from what you can experience back home, so make an effort to see all you can. At many beaches, you’ll be able to see dolphins, whales, and sea rays from the shore. You can also look in the sand for crabs and small crustaceans. By simply standing still and taking in all of the sights and sounds of the ocean, you’ll gain a greater appreciation for the surroundings. RIDE THE WAVES. You don’t need to be an experienced surfer to venture into the water on a board. Of course, you can take surfing lessons at many beaches, but you can also get in the water on a bodyboard for a thrilling experience. Additionally, you can rent kayaks or paddleboards if you want to be on the water, but not necessarily in it.

C oping W ith a N arcissistic S pouse IT DOESN’T HAVE TO END IN DIVORCE

LIVE FOR YOURSELF. When a narcissist enters our lives, they often take all of the spotlight and attention. They will make everything about themselves and put you in the shadows. As a result, it’s easy to lose sight of our goals and aspirations. Instead of giving up on your goals, dedicate some time in your day to continue working toward them. You need to find a balance between your relationship and other aspects of your life. Ultimately, it is up to you whether to stay or go. If you decide to stay, make sure to follow these guidelines so your relationship does not take over every part of your life.

Most advice you will read concerning a narcissistic spouse is about why you should leave them, but not everyone has that option. Some people may have kids with their spouse or still love their spouse more than anything else in the world. Others may belong to a religion that strictly prohibits divorce and expects people to stay married forever. If you find yourself in one of these situations, understanding how narcissistic people think and how best to deal with them will make your life easier. Here are a few strategies to help you deal with a narcissistic partner. DON’T COMPETE. Narcissism involves self-centered thinking that makes your partner crave control and attention at all times. Competing with them or trying to outdo them will only lead to further

issues. Instead, try to stay peaceful and incorporate humor into your life. Give your spouse the attention they crave whenever you feel like you can spare it. If your needs aren’t being met, develop other relationships to meet those needs. CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES WISELY. Narcissistic people tend to favor extremes where each situation has an absolute yes or no. Whenever a situation arises involving this type of behavior, acknowledge their mood. If they are in a negative space, avoid debating with them and bringing up touchy subjects. Getting into arguments with narcissists, even if they’re your spouse, will lead to time- and energy-wasting fights. Even if you know they’re wrong, the situation will improve if you simply leave it be.

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W ord S earch Airplane Beachball

Before Filing for Divorce 3 STEPS TO TAKE Even though marriage is meant to last a lifetime, the simple truth of the matter is that marriages end every day. Filing for divorce will be the right thing to do for some people, but if you can avoid divorce and instead work to improve your current marriage, you’ll avoid a lot of sorrow and heartbreak.

Bonfire Festival Fourth Grill Hiking Revolution Ruby Scoops Sparkler Tubing

So, before you give a divorce attorney a call, consider taking these steps first.

TRY INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING. It can help to talk to others about the situations you’re going through to figure out the best path forward. Many people turn to their friends and loved ones for advice, but they should really see a qualified counselor. Talking to an objective outsider will help you clearly evaluate the current state of your life so you can figure out what to do next. GO TO COUPLES COUNSELING. Unless abuse or addiction issues plague your marriage, marriage counseling is always worth a shot. A marriage counselor can help you to see the true intentions in each other’s words and learn to resolve differences so you can figure out how to improve your relationship. Many people complain about the high cost of marriage counseling, but going through a divorce is much more expensive. ASK: ARE YOUR MARRIAGE STANDARDS REALISTIC? No person is perfect, and no relationship is perfect, either. You need to honestly evaluate your relationship so you can determine if your expectations are realistic or not. If you don’t have a realistic view of marriage and still get the divorce, you can expect to face the same kinds of problems in a new relationship. If you have a spouse willing to work to improve the relationship, a counselor will help you both establish realistic expectations for the marriage.

RED, WHITE, AND BLUE TIRAMISU

Inspired by TasteOfHome.com

INGREDIENTS

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3 cups raspberries 3 cups blackberries 2 cups blueberries

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1 cup heavy whipping cream

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2 8-oz cartons mascarpone cheese

2 cups strawberries, sliced 1 1/3 cups sugar, divided

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1 tsp vanilla extract 2 7-oz packages crisp ladyfinger cookies

4 tsp orange zest 1 cup orange juice

If you’ve taken these steps and still feel like there is no path forward with your spouse, give our office a call.

DIRECTIONS

1. In a large bowl, gently mix all berries with 1/3 cup sugar, orange zest, and orange juice. Cover and refrigerate for 45 minutes. 2. In a medium bowl, beat the cream until soft peaks form. 3. In another medium bowl, mix mascarpone cheese, vanilla, and 1 cup sugar. Gradually fold in whipped cream. 4. Over a shallow bowl, drain the berries. Dip the ladyfingers in the leftover juice and allow the excess to drip off. 5. In a 13x9-inch dish, place half the ladyfingers in a single layer. Add a layer with half of the berries and then half the mascarpone mixture. Repeat layers, starting with ladyfingers. 6. Cover and refrigerate overnight before serving.

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Inside

Summer Learning Strategies to Help Your Child Succeed

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Oceanside Activities to Try This Summer

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Cope With a Narcissistic Spouse

3 Things to Consider Before Ending Your Marriage

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Red, White, and Blue Tiramisu

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Teen Life Skills

READY TO SUCCEED 3 IMPORTANT LIFE SKILLS TO TEACH YOUR TEEN

Leaving the nest can be tough for young adults. There are so many things to remember, like making sure they have all the right supplies and remembering to keep important paperwork. So, before your child heads off to college, help them strengthen these three skills. How to Ask for Help Being capable starts with understanding what you need and asking for it. By having your child order their own food at a restaurant, make medical and dental appointments for themselves, and check out at the supermarket alone, you’ll be helping your child develop independence while encouraging them to take the lead. How to Seamlessly Get From Point A to Point B When your teen leaves the house, they’ll be traveling on their own on a bus, on a plane, by car, and by foot, so they’ll need to understand how to navigate airports, subway stations, bus hubs, and roads. Ask your child

to give you directions when describing how to get to the mall or have them even drive you there if they are licensed. This will reduce stress during solo travels, and they’re less likely to feel overwhelmed if plans unexpectedly change. How to Handle Emergencies When children are fairly young, they learn how to call 911 in the event of life-threatening and serious emergencies. But other emergencies tend to pop up in life that don’t necessarily warrant a call to the police. Show your child how to put on a spare tire, turn off utilities, patch a hole in clothing, and other basic but necessary skills so they don’t panic when something goes wrong in their dorm room or on the road. As a parent, it’s your job to teach your children the right skills to set them up for success and independence so they can take care of themselves when they finally go off on their own.

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