The Bledsoe Firm - June 2022

The Bledsoe Firm - June 2022

The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 JUNE | 2022

FEEL MORE FULFILLED AS A PARENT

Being a parent is an incredibly difficult job. When our kids are young, we’re responsible for keeping them safe, healthy, learning, and growing at a consistent rate. We have to find new ways to connect with them as they grow and create an environment that fosters creativity, optimism, and positive attitudes. Part of this work requires parents to resist and fight off negative outside influences, which is becoming more and more difficult. Because parenting is so challenging, many may feel overwhelmed in their roles. Manage Expectations Setting unreasonably high expectations for children is one trap parents fall into. How many parents have you heard say their child is going to be the next superstar athlete or an astronaut for NASA? In reality, less than .5% of the country’s high school athlete population will go on to play professional sports in their career, and currently, the country has only 48 “active” astronauts working for NASA. Everyone wants their children to be successful in life, but you have to manage your expectations to avoid disappointment. While it’s okay to hope your child becomes a professional athlete, astronaut, or musician, it shouldn’t be the expectation. Take some time and evaluate where your expectations currently lie. If they’re not realistic, adopt some different ideas about what your child could do. This will help you focus more on what really matters instead of worrying about some far-fetched fantasy. 3 AREAS TO LOOK AT

Don’t Forget Self-Care If you’re feeling unfulfilled in your role as a parent, it may be time to focus some of your attention on yourself. You can’t be the best parent if you’re overwhelmed or stressed all of the time. Find ways to unwind and relax. For example, set aside 30 minutes each day to reconnect with an activity you love. Simply finding the time to read for a little bit every day or to watch your favorite show can do wonders. You’ll be reenergized to spend time with the kids again. Live More in the Present Even if you’ve adjusted expectations and found more time for yourself, you may still feel unfulfilled or inadequate in your role as a parent. It may seem counterproductive, but try to stop thinking so much about the future! To put it simply, the future is unpredictable and there are many things we cannot control about what happens. Worrying that every single thing you do will have some far-reaching effect on your child in the future is not helpful. Live more in the present moment and enjoy each experience as it comes. You’ll feel more joy and gain a greater appreciation for the small things, which leads to having less stress overall. Nobody said parenting was easy, and successful parents will tell you there’s no tried-and-true way to prepare yourself. If you want to feel more confident and fulfilled in your role, adjust your expectations, take care of yourself, and worry less about the future. You’ll rest easier at night knowing your kids are going to be fine! Take it one day at a time. —John Bledsoe

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6 G ifts D ad I s S ure to L ove IT’S DAD’S DAY! Dad is a very important person in your life! Every year when Father's Day rolls around, it can be tough to come up with the perfect gift, whether it be for your dad, a new father, your grandfather, or a father figure. Getting creative can be tricky, but this list is sure to help you with an idea or two for all different price ranges! Wallet Why not go really classic and opt for a thoughtful and practical gift? Most men’s wallets see a lot of wear and tear. After all, they’re sat on, toted around in pockets all day long, and sometimes forgotten about and sent through the wash. A new one just may be in order! Massage Gun Massage guns are rising in popularity. To help Dad recover from soreness and injury or just a tough workout, a massage gun will do the trick! The best part is that they range in price, and you can even purchase one on Amazon! Apple Watch Strap Does the dad you’re celebrating own an Apple Watch? If so, help him customize it with a new Apple Watch strap. You can choose from many materials, colors, and designs so he can blend in or stand out as much as he wants. A New Cooler Men love their coolers — it’s a foolproof Father’s Day gift! Whether Dad loves to camp, fish, tailgate, go to the beach, or barbecue in the backyard, he’s sure to appreciate a new way to store ice, drinks, food, or bait!

Tool Bucket Organizer Is your dad a bit of a handyman? Help him get organized and never lose track of his tools again. Tool bucket organizers come in many forms and, again, can be purchased right online, making your shopping easy! Bluetooth Headphones or Speakers If your father doesn’t have Bluetooth headphones or speakers yet, he’s missing out. The opportunity to jam out wirelessly while working out, cutting the grass, doing hobby work, or just relaxing is effortless with this thoughtful gift.

WHAT IS TRIANGULATION?

A N arcissistic A buse T actic

Many narcissists will use a number of manipulation methods in an attempt to control situations and people. While we’ve become familiar with terms like projection and gaslighting, there's another method narcissists use that people aren’t familiar with. Triangulation is a form of manipulation where one person uses a second person to manipulate a third person. When people triangulate, they may do it to increase their status, feel superior, acquire material gains, or achieve another selfish purpose. Disingenuous and sneaky strategies like this influence others to get them what they want. Everyone has probably used triangulation innocently at some point, but people with serious mental disorders take it to a new level of toxicity. An example of triangulation between spouses is when a husband makes up a story about a coworker who is interested in him or a wife tries to use other men to make her husband jealous. Even one spouse bringing up gossip about the other spouse can be considered triangulation.

Triangulation can also happen between parents and children. It is often identified as parental alienation. A narcissistic parent may triangulate one sibling against the other by referring to one as the “good child” and the other in a less-endearing way. It also happens when one parent tells the child to do something that the other parent doesn’t approve of — as long as they don’t tell the other parent. It allows one parent to gain favor with their child at the expense of the other parent. If you’re constantly dealing with someone who makes you feel insecure, manipulates your actions, or makes you compete for their love and affection, you’re probably dealing with toxic triangulation behaviors. It can help to speak with a mental health professional about how to set appropriate boundaries. If you’re dealing with this situation as part of a Southern California family law case, give our office a call.

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W ord S earch Aquarium Balloon Bicycle Children Father Flag Grill Moonstone Pride Rose Watermelon Wedding

UNDERSTANDING GRANDPARENTS’ RIGHTS

In Southern California Family Law

In the vast majority of family law cases, the court has a policy of non- interference and will respect the rights of parents to decide which family members they allow to see their children. However, in rare circumstances, the court may intervene through laws that protect grandparents’ rights and allow grandparents to still have visitation rights even if it goes against the wishes of the parents or guardians. In an ideal dynamic, grandparents have a positive relationship with the parents of their grandchildren, which allows them to see their grandchildren without intervention from the family court system. In some cases, the relationship between the grandparents and the legal parents of the children has fallen apart. This can lead the parents to not allow the grandparents to have the regular contact and visitation they previously enjoyed. Grandparents in this situation will need to demand their rights to reasonable visitation through the family court system. The grandparents need to have had a preexisting relationship with their grandchildren that created a bond between them. If the grandparents were not or were only minimally involved in their grandchildren’s lives, they won’t be able to claim rights to visitation. In a different circumstance, grandparents actually raise their grandchildren if the parents are absent or unavailable, for example, if the parent(s) is dealing with drug addiction or serving prison time. Grandparents in this circumstance should consult an attorney about establishing legal guardianship. If you’re a grandparent dealing with any of the situations laid out above, give our office a call. Our firm is dedicated to and experienced in helping grandparents with any of these difficult situations.

SWEET AND SPICY BBQ CHICKEN SKEWERS

Inspired by RecipeRunner.com

INGREDIENTS

For the Marinade •

• •

3/4 tsp smoked paprika

1 tbsp olive oil 2 tbsp soy sauce

1/2 tsp salt For the Skewers •

• • • • •

2 tbsp chili garlic sauce

2 lbs chicken breast, cut into bite-size cubes 1 small pineapple, cut into 1-inch cubes

2 tbsp rice vinegar

3 tbsp honey Juice of 1 lime

•

DIRECTIONS

1. In a bowl, whisk together marinade ingredients. 2. In a reusable freezer bag, combine cubed chicken and all but 1/4 cup of the marinade. 3. Seal bag and massage marinade into the chicken. Chill in the fridge overnight. 4. The following day, preheat the grill to 400 F. Thread chicken and pineapple onto skewers, adding two cubes of chicken for each cube of pineapple. 5. Grill the skewers for 3–4 minutes per side, brushing with the reserved marinade in the final minutes. 6. Serve over rice or with your favorite barbecue sides!

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Inside

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Feel More Fulfilled as a Parent

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Father’s Day Gift Guide

Understanding Triangulation

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Sweet and Spicy BBQ Chicken Skewers

Visitation and Grandparents’ Rights

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Make Your Place the ‘Cool House’ This Summer

PLAN THE ULTIMATE WATER BALLOON FIGHT (AND SCORE PARENT BROWNIE POINTS)

3. Extend the battle with refill/dump buckets. If you have water guns in the fight, make sure to strategically place buckets of water around the war zone. Big buckets are great for refilling guns, and small ones can fuel splash battles when your balloons run out. 4. Create an epic kickoff. Increase the drama of your game by having the players stand in a big circle with the ammunition in the center (like “The Hunger Games”) or splitting into groups and having each team start on opposite sides of no man’s land. Don’t forget the countdown! 5. Shake up the format. Come up with rules for your fight instead of making it an all-out brawl. Do you want to do a tag-style game, where someone is “it” until they balloon someone else? Or would you rather imitate dodgeball and tag each other “out” with balloons? Poll your players to see which idea is a hit.

Summer is here, which means your kids are probably about to disappear for endless play dates, outdoor adventures, or even summer jobs. Fortunately, there’s one way to keep them home and make your house the “cool” spot for their friends to hang out: Plan an epic water balloon fight. Water balloons are the essence of summer, and everyone can get in on the action. If you have a big family, you can plan the ultimate family battle, or your children can invite their friends over for a showdown. (Teenagers will love this as much as elementary schoolers!) Whichever option you choose, use these tips to level up the fun:

1. Provide plenty of ammunition. Fill at least 100 water balloons, or 25–50 balloons per player, to extend the window of your battle.

2. Up the stakes with water guns. Water balloons are great, but water balloons and water guns are even better! Spy magazine recommends hiding the guns around your yard or piling them in the center of the war zone where players will have a hard time grabbing them without getting wet.

Pro Tip: Consider swapping water balloons for sponges to save water. You can simply re-soak them to continue the battle!

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