The Bledsoe Firm - September 2021

The Bledsoe Firm - September 2021

The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 SEPTEMBER | 2021

WHEN SHOULD MY CHILD BEGIN PLAYING SPORTS?

A FEW CONSIDERATIONS

Along with the start of the school year, many fall sports programs are starting up all over the country. If you’re a parent of an older child or a teenager, all summer they may have been waiting and training for football, cross-country, or maybe even wrestling. However, if you’re a parent of a younger child, you might be wondering, “When is the right time to get my child into sports?” Sports are good for children of all ages for a number of reasons. They’re a way for kids to get the exercise they need to grow up healthy and strong, find friends their age, and identify activities they’re talented at and passionate about. So, while not every child will enjoy sports, it’s not a bad idea to sign your child up for a sports team or encourage them to join a team at school. As far as determining when your child is ready for sports, that depends entirely on your child’s age and the sport in question. If your child is between the ages of 2 and 5, they’re probably still learning basic motor skills, have short attention spans, and are not very good at tracking moving objects. So, while it might be a little early for a child between those ages to join an organized team sport, activities such as running, swimming, and tumbling can help keep them active.

Children between the ages of 6 and 9 have more developed motor skills and hand-eye coordination as well as a greater

mental capacity to remember rules, concepts, and simple strategies. This means that children at this age might be ready for some basic team sports that can be easily adapted for their age group, such as soccer, baseball, gymnastics, or martial arts. Finally, when children are between 10 and 12 years old, their motor skills and coordination are developed enough for more complex team sports, such as football, basketball, and hockey. However, especially for boys, puberty might make some children larger and stronger than others who are also in their age group. If at all possible, separate children of the same age into teams of larger and smaller children, or encourage children who aren’t as physically big as some of their peers to try sports that don’t require large size to be successful, like martial arts, track and field, and even wrestling. All that said, though, whatever your child’s age and ability level, make sure to let them try a number of different sports so they can find the ones they enjoy. If you make your child play a sport they don’t enjoy, or push them into one too early, that might turn them off from sports in general. At their very core, sports are about staying healthy, learning teamwork, engaging in healthy competition, and having fun — that goes for any age group. So, listen to your children when it comes to the sports and activities they like, and give them every opportunity to have fun and excel. —John Bledsoe

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WILLIE THE PARROT: THE ULTIMATE DANGER ALARM Willie the Quaker parrot was a pretty remarkable bird. Like many parrots, he had a knack for mimicking certain sounds and words, including barking dog noises, human kissing noises, and a fair share of swear words. However, what made Willie a hero one day was not just what he said, but also when he said it. Meagan Howard, Willie’s owner, brought him over to her friend Samantha Kuusk’s house while she babysat Kuusk’s little daughter, Hannah. Hannah and Willie were both in the kitchen while Meagan prepared a Pop-Tart for Hannah’s breakfast. After placing the Pop-Tart on the table, Meagan stepped away to use the bathroom. While she was away, however, Hannah got her hands on the Pop-Tart and began to scarf it down, lodging a piece in her windpipe. She started choking and was unable to signal to Meagan that something was wrong. Luckily, Willie came to the rescue.

She rushed to the kitchen to find a very frantic Willie and a very blue Hannah. Meagan jumped into action. She grabbed Hannah and performed the Heimlich maneuver until the Pop-Tart piece dislodged itself and shot out of her mouth. Meagan may have been the one to stop Hannah from choking, but she insists that Willie was the real hero of the story. If he hadn’t used his unique mimicking skills to get Meagan’s attention, she doesn’t know what would have happened. It’s worth noting that before that incident, Willie had never used the phrase “Mama! Baby!” before. He knew something was wrong, and he knew how to get help.

Willie began squawking and shrieking, saying the words “Mama! Baby!” over and over again. In a matter of moments, Meagan knew something was wrong.

Shortly after the incident, Willie received the local Red Cross chapter’s Animal Lifesaver Award for his heroic actions.

POTENTIAL CHALLENGES (AND ACTION STEPS)

W hen M arrying S omeone W ith M ental I llness in T heir F amily H istory

Set boundaries with the family. Your spouse’s family’s mental illnesses might make spending time with them exhausting, so it’s okay to talk to your spouse about limiting the amount of time you spend with them. Plus, if they refuse to get help, and they’re rude or disrespectful because of it, you shouldn’t feel bad for telling them enough is enough. Let your spouse know that even though you love and accept their family, you have to keep your own mental health in mind as well. Learn about their illness. Instead of worrying about dealing with a new family member’s mental illness, try to understand it instead. It’s likely they don’t want it to affect your relationship any more than you do. So, it’s worth learning where they’re coming from and what causes their actions so you don’t have to feel out of the loop as you get to know more about them. Get help from others, too. Your spouse has lived with their family and their illness all their lives, so they’ll be a resource for both comfort and reassurance. They’ll help you learn and adapt to getting along with their family. It won’t be easy, but it will be possible. You don’t have to struggle alone with your spouse’s family.

Did you know that more than 50% of the world population will at some point in their lives be diagnosed with a mental illness of some sort? What’s more is that because mental

illness tends to be passed down through families, which means if you’re marrying someone who has family members who have

struggled with mental illness in the past, it could also eventually affect your spouse and your life together.

As scary as that might seem, it’s nothing you and your spouse can’t prepare for. Here are a few action steps you can take.

Find out the nature of their mental illness (if any). Your spouse may suffer from the same mental illness as their family members, or they may suffer from a different one — but they might not have any at all. In order to best prepare, talk about what grappling with a mental illness might look like, and maybe encourage your spouse to seek a mental health professional before things potentially get worse.

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W ord S earch Abundant Apples

WHAT IS COVERT NARCISSISM?

Cookout Crunchy Fall Golden Grandparents Harvest

H ow to S pot and F ight I t

Labor Maple Sports Windy

In this newsletter, on our blog, and pretty much wherever else I communicate with clients and potential clients, I’ve written at length about the various facets of dealing with a narcissistic ex in family law and divorce cases. In most of these cases, I’ve written about narcissists as one big group, but the more nuanced truth is that there are different types of narcissists. It behooves anyone to know more about the unique challenges that come with battling each type of narcissist in court. So, in this newsletter I thought I’d share how to handle a divorce or custody case against what’s known as a covert narcissist. Most people have a pretty general idea of what a narcissist is: a loud, self-centered, boisterous individual who completely lacks any ability to feel empathy for another person. However, a much more dangerous kind of narcissist is the covert narcissist, who can hide their narcissistic tendencies from almost everyone. Covert narcissists are typically quiet and put on a self-effacing front, but their outward humility is simply a tool to gain more sympathetic praise for themselves. They may not be aggressive in their narcissism, but they will exhibit passive aggressiveness often. They’re envious of others and believe they deserve what others have, all while showing a quiet smugness or superiority. The challenging part about battling a covert narcissist is that when you try to fight them by calling out their narcissism, you risk alienating yourself from the other people you know who have yet to pick up on your ex’s narcissistic tendencies. They’ll think you’re crying wolf and be reluctant to help you. So, if you find yourself up against a covert narcissist, take these three steps: 1. Stop trying to convince others of your ex’s narcissism. If your suspicions are right, they’ll find out in their own way eventually. Don’t risk turning your friends against you, too. 2. Find a therapist. You’ll need to talk to an independent third party about your ex’s covert narcissism, and it should be a mental health expert. Even though you can’t go to your friends, you shouldn’t go into your case alone. 3. Hire the right attorney. At The Bledsoe Firm, we specialize in handling cases that are complicated by mental disorders. Call us today at (949) 363- 5551 for more help.

ONE-PAN APPLE CIDER CHICKEN

Inspired by WellPlated.com

INGREDIENTS

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1 1/2 lbs boneless, skinless chicken thighs

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4 tsp olive oil, divided

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3 sweet apples, cut into 1/2-inch slices 2 tsp fresh rosemary, chopped, plus more for garnish

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1 tsp salt, divided

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1/2 tsp black pepper, divided

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1/2 cup apple cider

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2 tsp Dijon mustard

DIRECTIONS

1. Sprinkle chicken with 1/2 tsp salt and 1/4 tsp pepper. Set aside. 2. In a small bowl, combine apple cider and mustard. Set aside. 3. In a large skillet over medium heat, warm 2 tsp olive oil. When shimmering, add chicken thighs top-side down. Cook for 4 minutes, then flip and cook for 4 more minutes. Transfer to a plate and cover with foil. Wipe the skillet clean. 4. Heat the remaining oil in the skillet, then add sliced apples, remaining salt and pepper, and rosemary. Cook for 5 minutes. 5. Return the chicken to the skillet and add apple cider-mustard mixture. Cook for 5 minutes, then serve sprinkled with rosemary!

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Inside

When Should My Child Begin Playing Sports?

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Willie the Parrot: The Ultimate Danger Alarm Marrying Someone With Mental Illness in Their Family History How to Spot and Fight Covert Narcissism One-Pan Apple Cider Chicken

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Nothing to See Here: Mystery Spot Tourism

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NOTHING TO SEE HERE A HISTORY OF THE MYSTERY SPOT

The most famous mystery spot is in Santa Cruz, California, but it has cousins in Oregon, West Virginia, and Michigan. Each one is inexplicable — drawing thousands of people every year to come and spend their tourist dollars. And for many, the whole thing is just one big hoax, designed to take in suckers and generate cash. Although Santa Cruz has the most visitors, it was “inspired” by the Oregon Vortex, which was a spot that had odd occurrences “documented” back to the early frontier days. From a mining office sliding off its foundation to the high presence of optical illusions, the Vortex was the home to some odd events. Naturally, the thing to do was build a structure there and start taking people’s money!

attractions” of all kinds have been the rage since people began to tour America by car, and it’s pretty clear that, real or not, these mystery spots fall into that category. That’s why many of them have updated over the years to suit changing tastes — such as the Michigan St. Ignace Mystery Spot’s addition of zip lines and other attractions. And unlike many other roadside attractions, mystery spots continue to draw attention. Something in the American psyche loves the idea of the paranormal; Google “Europe mystery spots” and you’re likely to discover lists of unique vacation destinations. Perhaps they recapture the “paradise is just over the hill” mystery that in part drove colonization of the American West.

It’s not a coincidence that these locations began to pop up at the same time as the average American got access to automobiles — “roadside

Or perhaps it’s all a bunch of hooey. The best way to decide, of course, is to visit one of these mystery spots for yourself!

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