The Manely Firm, P.C. - March 2022

The Manely Firm, P.C. - March 2022

Al l fami ly law. Al l around Georgia. Al l around the wor ld.

M arch 2022

FIGHTING OVER TEEN CUSTODY CAN CAUSE PERMANENT DAMAGE W inning the B attle , L osing the W ar

Too often, we see kids thrown into the middle of custody battles. Parents force children to become go-betweens or treat them like the rope in a game of tug-of-war. March 21 is National Teenager Day, so I want to take a moment to talk about the specific ways kids can be affected during one of the most stressful and transitional times in their lives — adolescence. Georgia recognizes that older children should have a say in where they live. As they mature, they can make more reasoned choices, understand the environment that’s best for them, and recognize unhealthy familial patterns. As a result, children aged 11-13 must have their views taken into account when the court is deciding their custody. Meanwhile, teenagers 14 and older have a presumptive right to select their custodial parent. Barring extenuating circumstances, the teenager lives with the parent of their choosing. “By opposing their teenager’s rights, a parent will often lose them forever.” The state takes teenagers’ rights seriously — or, they did. I used to tell people, “Unless your ex just got out of prison for ax murder, if your child wants to live with them, the judge will bless it.” But there’s a new trend of parents trying, sometimes successfully, to overrule their teen’s wishes. If the current custodial parent doesn’t want to lose custody, they might start slinging mud at the ex, exposing old secrets, and searching for any grounds on which they can deny their teen’s wishes. These fights often drag out and become very nasty. In my experience, these battles almost always backfire on the protesting parent — even if they do eventually win in court. By opposing their teenager’s rights, a parent will often lose them forever. I’ve seen many cases where parents have engaged in the folly of fighting their teenager’s election, and more often than not, those same parents end up excluded from seeing their grandchildren years later. The effects are that long- lasting and devastating.

In truth, when a teen wants to change their custodial parent, it’s often for a good reason. In many cases, the parent they’re currently living with isn’t doing a great job, and that’s why the teen wants to make a change. Other times, the teen may want to move closer to a specific school, friend, or set of activities — or maybe they just feel more connected to the other parent. Whatever the teen’s reason, opposing their election is rarely the best path forward. If this is the battle you choose to fight, be prepared to lose the war. If your child declares they no longer want to live with you, I understand that it’s painful. It can feel like a profound rejection of everything you’ve done to love and raise them. But your relationship with your child is a lot like holding a handful of sand. The harder you tighten your grip, the more it will slip through your fingers. It feels counterintuitive, but chasing after your kid won’t work. The best way to rebuild your connection with them is to respect their decision and give them the space they’ve requested. –Michael Manely 1

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I s Y our T een R eady for T heir F irst J ob ?

engaged in the conversation, you’re both more likely to feel comfortable with the outcome. Plus, teens need to learn how to make big decisions like this before moving away from home. A teen can experience many benefits when they have a part-time job. It will likely be your child’s first venture into the “real world,” and they’ll learn invaluable lessons about punctuality, responsibility, and conflict resolution. Before they’re responsible for their own living expenses, it will be the perfect opportunity to teach them about money management. And don’t forget, learning how to search for jobs, create a resume, and interview for a potential position will also serve them well in the years to come. Some people think it’s important to let kids be kids, though. After all, they have their whole lives to worry about work. Plus, while your child is still in school, that should be their primary focus — job or no job. For some, trying to handle studies and work might be too much. So, how can you tell if your teen is ready? You know them best. If your child is already responsible and conscientious, and they’re excelling in school, a dip into the job market may be fine. If, however, your teen feels overwhelmed easily, has trouble at school, or doesn’t accept criticism well, they likely need a bit more time to mature. Like so many other acts of parenting, deciding if your teen is ready for their first job is a leap of faith. Trust yourself — and them — to weigh the situation and make the right decision for your family.

Your teen is getting older, and they’re probably asking for more money all the time. Eventually, the Bank of Mom and Dad needs to close, so your teen might consider getting their first job. It’s a big step for any young person, and both you and they have a lot to think about before taking the plunge. Ideally, you and your teen will both have a say in your teen’s decision to get a job or not. If your teen wants a job but you have concerns, discuss them instead of putting your foot down. Similarly, if you feel strongly about your child getting their first job, try to encourage them, not force them. When both sides are

C rafting N ovel S olutions MEET KAITIE RUHL-PIRONE!

Kaitie Ruhl-Pirone grew up wanting to be a veterinarian. But when she took an organic chemistry course in college, it suddenly dawned on her that science was not a good fit for her skills and passion. She decided to pursue English and literature instead, followed by law school. In her first job as an attorney, she worked on child dependency cases, representing the state. During that time, she was exposed to the Georgia Legal Services Program, which helps indigent families receive representation. “I was interested in how those cases affected children in particular, but also how they affected families, and how they moved on from those situations,” Kaitie says. Soon, she was pursuing family law, and she joined The Manely Firm last August. Kaitie enjoys connecting with her clients and helping families; she also appreciates that each situation she handles is unique. “Every family operates differently,” she says. “It allows me to come up with different solutions. For one family, Halloween might be the most important holiday of the year. Another may operate on

the lunar calendar.” Seeing this diversity and helping clients find the right solutions for their families gives her a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment. In her downtime, Kaitie enjoys crafty activities. “It’s a way to calm my mind and take a break from critical thinking,” she says. “A hobby that has survived since middle school is making costumes.” Before the pandemic, she would cosplay and visit conventions with friends and hopes to start back up soon. In 2020, she married her husband in what she calls a “COVID wedding.” The couple is close with her family, and they’ve begun shooting compound bows. “We set up an archery range in my mother’s backyard,” she laughs. When asked what she likes best about working at The Manely Firm, Kaitie reflects on the team’s efficiency and camaraderie. “It’s very much like a well-oiled machine, but that’s a misnomer because the environment is also very familiar. Everyone’s doors are always open for advice, and it’s very much a teamwork environment. It’s a machine,” she concludes, “but it’s an organic one.”

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Removing Customer Pain OUR MODEL FOR CONCIERGE-LEVEL SERVICE

W e are what we repeatedly do . E xcellence , then , is not an act , but a habit . — A ristotle

Unfortunately, clients rarely wind up in our office because things are going well. Divorce and child custody battles are inherently painful experiences. The people we meet are often hurt, anxious, angry, and emotional about their situations. Part of providing concierge-level service is removing customer pain. We can’t erase all negative emotions associated with a family legal dispute, but we can reduce their impact and ensure we’re not adding to our clients’ difficulty. For example, Progressive Insurance advertises a concierge claims service for automobile accidents. You report the accident, and they take care of

1. OFFER UNEXPECTED PERKS OR AMENITIES. 2. PERFORM RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS

3. PROVIDE A SUPERIOR DIGITAL EXPERIENCE

4. PROVIDE AN ENHANCED IN-OFFICE EXPERIENCE

5. REMOVE CUSTOMER PAIN

6. SERVE AS A TRUSTED ADVISOR

finding a mechanic, getting an estimate, completing repairs, and ensuring you have a rental car to drive. Similarly, The Manely Firm strives to take over as much of the legal process as possible without our clients needing to get into the nitty-gritty details. One of the most painful aspects of the process for our clients is simply not knowing what’s next. The unknown is scary — and when we’re nervous about what will happen, we often imagine the worst. So, our attorneys and paralegals always educate our clients on the process. Knowing what to expect eases many of our clients’ fears. And we can often tell them about a lot more than just the legal process. Our years of experience help us intuitively read the situation and understand how their ex is likely to behave. Every case is unique, but we’ve been around the block enough times to have seen many people in similar situations. Sometimes, removing customer pain also involves telling harsh truths. Clients deserve honest assessments of their cases, even when they’re unpleasant. But as painful as it can be to hear that you’re extremely unlikely to win custody right now, it’s less painful than going through a protracted, expensive, emotionally draining process for little to no gain. Once the client accepts the situation, we can turn our attention to changing it for the better in the future. Finally, we always aim to lead our clients through the process with care and compassion. Even when handing out bad news, we can do so in a way that honors our clients’ emotions and humanity. Our goal is to treat every client’s case the way we would want ours to be treated — with kindness, determination, and their best interests at heart. That’s how we reduce customer pain.

S imple B ok C hoy C hicken S oup

Inspired by TheSpruceEats.com

I ngredients Is the chill of winter lingering? A hot bowl of this Asian-inspired soup will warm you right up! Our recipe makes 4–5 servings.

• • • •

3 cups chicken broth 1 tsp red pepper flakes

• • •

1 garlic clove, chopped

10 leaves bok choy, thinly sliced

2 tsp soy sauce 2 tsp sesame oil

2 cups shredded rotisserie chicken

D irections 1.

In a medium saucepan, bring chicken broth to a boil.

2. Stir in red pepper flakes, soy sauce, sesame oil, and garlic. 3. Add bok choy leaves and rotisserie chicken. Simmer for 10 minutes or until the bok choy is dark green and tender. 4. Enjoy with slices of your favorite whole-wheat bread!

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211 Roswell St. NE Marietta, GA 30060 (866) 687-8561 www.allfamilylaw.com

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How Custody Fights Can Permanently Damage Relationships

Is Your Teen Ready for a Job? Meet Attorney Kaitie Ruhl-Pirone!

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How We Work to Remove Customer Pain Simple Bok Choy Chicken Soup

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Meet ‘Dr. Peyo’ — France’s Only 4-Legged Doc

M eet F rance ’ s 4-L egged D octor

‘DR. PEYO’ THE THERAPY HORSE WILL SEE YOU NOW!

trainer to realize Peyo was more interested in the crowd than the competition. In a moving article about Peyo, The Guardian reported, “After shows, he would pick out people in the crowd, approach them, and choose to stay next to them.” This was the first sign of Peyo’s secret talent: Like a bomb-sniffing dog, it appears Peyo can detect cancerous tumors. In the hospital, he uses a raised hoof to point his trainer toward rooms he’d like to visit. Inside, he comforts the dying patients and their families. “What really pushed scientists to take an interest in him and open the health establishment doors to us was this [seeming] ability to greatly reduce [the patients’ dosage of] all hard drugs and thus allow a more peaceful departure,” Peyo’s trainer, Hassen Bouchakour, told The Guardian. Peyo has been working as a therapy horse since 2016 and stood vigil by the bedsides of more than 1,000 people, bringing them comfort and letting their children ride him through the hospital halls. It’s an amazing achievement for a 15-year-old horse! Of course, Peyo is far from the only animal visiting hospitals to bring people comfort. Here in the U.S., Johns Hopkins partners with more than 15 volunteer therapy dog teams that make patients smile, lower their blood pressure, improve their mood, and reduce their pain. At least 45 hospitals in the country have similar programs.

Imagine you’re sitting in a French hospital, minding your own business and waiting for a doctor to see you. Suddenly, the elevator doors slide open and a full-sized horse clip-clops out into the waiting room! That might sound like something out of a children’s book, but it’s actually a regular occurrence at Calais Hospital. There, a therapy horse named Peyo visits sick and dying patients to help ease their anxiety, bring them comfort, and distract them from their pain.

Peyo — affectionately known as “Dr. Peyo” by the staff at Calais — wasn’t always a therapy horse. In his early life, he competed in dressage, but it didn’t take long for his

Want to know if your local hospital employs therapy animals? Visit their website to find out. You might be surprised by what you learn!

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