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Risk Services Of Arkansas - June 2021
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AN UNEXPECTED BLESSING FOR A STEPFATHER
Walking My Daughter Down the Aisle
thing for her to do. Not only that, but Shelby’s decision to have me walk her down the aisle also meant a lot to my wife, her mother, as well. She took it as a huge affirmation of our family’s relationships, and by extension the approval of our marriage. In light of Father’s Day coming up this month, I just wanted to share this story in case there are any stepdads that might need a little encouragement. Maybe you’ve recently accepted the challenge, or maybe you’ve been one for a while, like me. Either way, it’s not always easy to care for kids as if they are your own because of the absence of their biological father, but things can get better down the road, especially if you put in the effort. They can become your kids, and when they know how much you love them, you can become their dad, regardless of blood. Whatever your family situation is though, I hope that all the fathers out there feel appreciated and affirmed by their children this Father’s Day.
for her when her real father hadn’t and that it wouldn’t be right for him to have the honor of walking her down the aisle because he just hadn’t been there for her in any way. Taking part in Shelby’s wedding was such an affirming experience for me. I think sometimes as parents, we don’t realize how much of an impact we have on our kids until we get the privilege of doing something like that. Sure, we might get the regular “thank yous” and “love yous” that come throughout everyday life with your kids, but when they ask you to be there for them on one of the most important days of their lives, that’s when the joy and honor of being a parent really hit home for me. I’ve been very blessed to have the family that I do. While I wouldn’t say that my wife’s biological children and my biological children are as close as real siblings, they’re all great friends. In fact, before she asked me, Shelby asked my biological daughter if it was okay with her that I walk her down the aisle because that would normally be an honor reserved for her. I thought that was a really thoughtful and mature
A few months ago, my eldest stepdaughter, Shelby, got married, and I got to walk her down the aisle. It was one of those incredible honors that comes with being a father, and I felt privileged to do it, especially since I’m not her biological father. When I married my wife 10 years ago, we each already had children from previous marriages. She has three daughters, and I have two sons and a daughter. Since then, however, her kids have become my kids, and my kids have become her kids. Be that as it may, however, when my eldest stepdaughter asked me to walk her down the aisle, after I let her know how honored and grateful I was, I felt compelled to make sure that was really what she wanted to do. Her biological father hadn’t been present in her (or her sisters’) life for over 10 years, but I knew that if I were to take the place of her father at her wedding, it would probably mean the end of any hope she might have for a future relationship with him.
She reassured me that it was absolutely what she wanted. She said that I had been there
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