The Bledsoe Firm - August 2021

The Bledsoe Firm - August 2021

The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 AUGUST | 2021

THE PASSING OF MY MOTHER

I have been out of the office a considerable amount during the months of May and June. After coming back, I wanted to say a few things about my mother since she had great influence in my life growing up and to the time she passed. She was 85 years old and lived in Washington City, Utah, and her death on June 4 followed the passing of my father on Nov. 9, 2019. Donna Anderson was born in 1933 in San Pedro, California. She was the oldest of seven children and primarily grew up in Long Beach, California. She met my dad in her junior year in high school, and they got married a couple of years later. She even gave up a scholarship to Brigham Young University to get married and have kids. And have kids she did. She gave birth to 10 children between the years of 1955 and 1969. Nine of the 10 children she had were boys! In fact, she gave birth to six of her boys before having her only daughter. I was the third oldest son, but my brother immediately older than me only lived a few days. All of her other nine children survived her, and five of us were at her bedside when she passed away, including three of my brothers who are also medical doctors. We had a somewhat unusual family given that there were so many kids so close together. Having experienced raising my own six children — and now also having grandchildren — I have amazing respect for the amount of energy she put into us since parents can have an incredible influence on their children. My mom always read to us, and for me that was huge! I saw books as entertainment, and I became a voracious reader. That love for reading got me in trouble sometimes. I remember

seeing a report card where my fifth-grade teacher expressed concern that I rushed through my schoolwork so I could read the book I had hidden in my desk. But my love of reading also helped me qualify for a career as an attorney! My mother was not perfect by any means, but she got darn close. She became very good at holding me accountable, and I felt my dad’s fireman’s belt on my backside a number of times to the point that I learned at an early age that friction causes heat. I had a smart mouth and more than once very deservedly got the receiving end of a kitchen utensil that was thrown at me. One morning when I’d been being particularly mouthy, she threw a large spatula full of scrambled eggs at me. Funny the things you remember about your parents. My mother also prayed with me every night during my early years. And she and my dad raised us as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. That provided a spiritual foundation which I have appreciated and benefited from to this day. She was a person of great personal faith who despite considerable hardships always believed that things would improve with time. The older I get the more I appreciate both of my parents. Parents are truly a blessing from God in almost all cases. My mom certainly blessed my life all of her days. Early on, she became a confidant and a wonderful grandmother to my own kids. The life she lived and the sacrifices she made for me and my siblings inspires me to be a better man and to be a better parent and grandparent to my own kids and grandkids. I am grateful and I know that I will see her again. —John Bledsoe

1

JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551

MEDITATION NOT WORKING FOR YOU? Try a Sound Bath

As is the case with many self-care trends like yoga and meditation, what’s old is new again. The latest relaxation practice with ancient roots to make waves in modern times is sound baths. Celebs from Charlize Theron to Laurence Fishburne say they help promote relaxation and reduce stress. Kendall Jenner, who’s been public about her struggles with anxiety and sleep paralysis, also swears by the practice’s healing powers and has even started creating her own sound baths and sharing them on Instagram. While you can create a sound bath experience at home, most practitioners “bathe” at in-person sessions with “sounders” — those who create the soundscape. These sessions typically last 45–60 minutes. The idea behind the sonic experience is that bathers sit or lay in a relaxing position while gently focusing on the sounds they are immersed in. Sounders commonly use singing bowls, chimes, gongs, and other instruments to create a meditative and relaxing vibe.

In fact, sounders say the vibrations of some instruments facilitate relaxation by literally changing the brainwaves. Health practitioners put it differently, saying that the practice promotes a parasympathetic autonomic nervous system response, aka a stress reduction response. Either way, the practice is a nice alternative to standard sitting meditation, which often focuses on the breath and can be difficult, especially for new practitioners. While there hasn’t been a lot of medical research done to test the efficacy of the practice, it is becoming a more widely used supplemental treatment for stress, anxiety, addiction, and post-traumatic stress disorder. If you get the chance to experience one yourself, try to approach it with an open mind and open ears. You just might be surprised.

REVENGE RESTRAINING ORDERS

H ow to P revent T hem F rom H urting Y ou

When used as intended, restraining orders can be an effective tool to protect someone, and potentially their children, from an abusive, dangerous ex-partner. However, this tool can have a dark side. At our firm, we call it the “revenge restraining order,” and instead of being created to protect someone from further harm or abuse, an abusive person creates one to shame, disparage, or otherwise discredit their partner. Revenge restraining orders can lead to devastating consequences for whoever the order was issued against. You might be tempted to think, “Well, if they’re really innocent, then someone filing a restraining order against them shouldn’t harm them.” Unfortunately, this is rarely true. At the very least, it will damage a person’s reputation without cause. When someone files a restraining order against you, people may rush to judgment, believing you must have done something horrible to whomever

issued the order. If the restraining order was made as an act of revenge, that simply isn’t true — but it won’t matter for your reputation. At the same time, an abusive ex could make up all sorts of stories about why they had a restraining order filed against you, further muddying the truth as they paint themselves as a victim. It only gets worse from there, however. A narcissistic or psychopathic ex could stalk you or follow you, then call the cops and say you were in violation of your order, which could land you in jail. These possibilities are no doubt frightening, but don’t worry — you do have the power to prevent it from happening. The best thing you can do is document every correspondence and relevant piece of information that will indicate the truth to the courts. Then, you can get in touch with the experienced divorce and family law attorneys at The Bledsoe Firm. Call today at 949.363.5551.

2

JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551

W ord S earch

COULD MY NARCISSISTIC EX HIRE A NARCISSISTIC LAWYER? W hat to D o and W hat to E xpect As you’re probably aware, The Bledsoe Firm specializes in divorce and family law cases that involve parties suffering from narcissism and other personality disorders. We can guide you through a host of complicated situations that can arise because of those disorders — including if your narcissistic ex- partner finds a narcissistic lawyer to represent them. Now, we should preface the rest of this article by saying we’re not sure how likely this scenario is. According to research, approximately 7.7% of men and 4.4% of women are narcissists, but no research has been done about whether those numbers would be higher among people who are attorneys. Nevertheless, the legal profession (or at least the stereotypes surrounding it) has a lot that would attract a narcissist: fancy cars, gobs of money, command of the courtroom, and enviable success. At the same time, narcissists will likely be attracted to the lawyers that are all flash and willing to “go for the kill” against the opposing counsel. So, if a narcissistic ex-partner is looking for a lawyer, they very well might find one who has narcissistic tendencies — and that could pose quite a few problems for you. As I briefly mentioned, narcissists go all in on inflicting maximum damage against the person their client wants revenge against. They’ll run up the bills on both sides, seek to punish rather than compromise, and paint a picture of you as an ex who’s completely awful and refuse to settle. They do everything they can to make the case a nightmare for whomever is at the business end of their litigation. While you can’t do much to prevent an abusive, narcissistic ex-partner from choosing narcissistic representation in court, you can choose representation for yourself that knows how to fight back. To ensure you can fight back against both a narcissistic ex and a narcissistic lawyer, call The Bledsoe Firm today at 949.363.5551.

Beach Fishing Friendship Garden Heat Outdoors Pool Rainy Rhubarb Sardonyx Schooling Vacation

EASY FOIL-GRILLED SAUSAGE AND VEGETABLES

Inspired by NutmegNanny.com

INGREDIENTS

•

4 sausage links of your choice

• • • • • • •

3 tbsp olive oil

2 cloves garlic, grated

• • • • • •

1 lb green beans

1 tbsp thyme 1 tsp oregano

1 red bell pepper, diced 1 yellow bell pepper, diced

1 tsp basil 1 tsp salt

1 red onion, diced 1 zucchini, diced 1 yellow summer squash, diced

1 tsp crushed red pepper (optional)

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat your grill to medium heat or your oven to 425 F. 2. In a large bowl, add all of the ingredients and mix well. Divide into four equal portions. 3. Prepare four 16-inch pieces of foil and place a portion in the middle of each section. Wrap each foil piece tightly and avoid holes. 4. Grill each foil packet for 20 minutes, flipping halfway through. You can also bake each packet for 20 minutes at 425 F.

3

JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551

PRST STD US POSTAGE PAID BOISE, ID PERMIT 411

JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551

23101 Lake Center Drive • Suite 310 Lake Forest, CA 92630

Inside

1

The Passing of My Mother

2

The Benefits of Sound Baths How to Handle Revenge Restraining Orders Could My Narcissistic Ex Hire a Narcissistic Lawyer? Easy Foil-Grilled Sausage and Vegetables

3

4

Are We Headed for the First War in Space?

‘SPACE LAW’ ARE WE HEADED FOR THE FIRST WAR IN SPACE?

Earlier this year, Russia announced it would abandon its missions to the International Space Station in favor of a new, Russia-only station orbiting Earth. At the same time, China has begun working in earnest on its own permanent space installation, raining construction debris down on coastal Africa and other places. With private American interests gaining traction in orbit (and the confidence of our government), things are getting awfully crowded up there — and not by actors that typically play well together.

The general principles were those of cooperation and goodwill, and that made sense in the 20th century, when it was unlikely any power would be able to seriously colonize stations in orbit or the moon itself, nevermind other planets. But in the past 20 years, many countries have been unwilling to seriously commit to more specific agreements or laws. When you see the rapidly increasing presence many countries are seeking in orbit, you start to understand why. Nobody wants to hamstring themselves and compromise their interests when the resources of our solar system are made available through technology. Even though this may be a new arena, the problem is an old one. International law — of which “space law” is a subset — is not typically enforceable and never has been. Private ventures, like those of Elon Musk, may face crackdown by their governments or the international community. But nations themselves will take what they want, when they want it — and right now, that could make peace on the final frontier a long shot in the 21st century.

All of which begs the question: Will the 21st century see the first violent conflict in space?

We have to delve into “space law” (yes, it’s really called that) to understand this question. It started in the 1940s and ‘50s, when the USSR launch of Sputnik signaled a new ground for scientific competition in the Cold War, as well as fears of more direct, armed conflict. The landmark "Outer Space Treaty" of 1967 was the response, and nations continued to deal with space concerns until the end of the century.

4

JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551