The Bledsoe Firm - October 2021

The Bledsoe Firm - October 2021

The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 OCTOBER | 2021

TOP 4 TIPS FOR TRICK-OR-TREATERS HOW TO GUARANTEE A SAFE HALLOWEEN

TRICK-OR-TREAT Getting candy from all the houses in a neighborhood is one of the best experiences of childhood, but that’s also where the most danger is. It’s best to accompany any child under the age of 12. Another good practice is to pin your child’s name, address, and phone number to their costume in case they get separated from the group.

Halloween has always felt like a special time of year for me. Not only does it help kick off the ever-exciting holiday season, but it’s a favorite for kids. While many kids find joy in the great feast of Thanksgiving or the gift giving of Christmas, nothing can top Halloween. Scoring lots of free candy, dressing up as whatever they want, and staying up way past their bedtime solidifies Halloween as the ultimate children’s holiday. However, hidden dangers lurk this time of year, so I want to make sure you and your family have a safe and happy Halloween. PUMPKIN CARVING Before the kids are even in their costumes, many families have a tradition of carving pumpkins. Though pumpkin carving dates back to the 1800s, the dangers associated with the activity haven’t changed. Do not leave your child alone with any carving tools, especially knives. Even some of the new “safer” carving kits still have tools with sharp edges. If you want to avoid using sharp objects, you can always decorate your pumpkin with paint or glitter and still have the coolest pumpkin in the neighborhood. COSTUME SAFETY Kids love to dress up and Halloween is one of the few times of the year they can go wild with their costumes, but you need to make sure their costumes are safe. While ninjas and witches may be cool costumes, their darker colors are not ideal. Bright costumes are the better choice. If they are adamant about their all-black look, stick some reflective tape to their costume. Costume sizing is also extremely important. If the costume is too long, the child could trip. Likewise, if there is too much fabric, the costume could get tangled or caught on something, resulting in an injury.

You should still follow this practice if you’re not with your older child. Set ground rules for their route and when they should be back home. I also advise giving your child a cellphone so they can call you if anything goes wrong. Though the rumor of razor blades in Halloween candy has been overexaggerated over the years, it is still best to inspect your child’s haul. Throw away any unwrapped candy or pieces with torn packaging. Gum, peanuts, and hard candies can also be hazardous to young children and should be removed. ADULT SAFETY Adults can still do plenty of things to ensure the safety of the children in the neighborhood. For example, remove any tripping hazards from your property, especially the driveway. While your Halloween props can stay, garden hoses and bikes should be put away. It’s also recommended to leave your lights on. This might take away from your spooky ambiance, but it will help kids find their way to the door.

If you decide to leave the house, drive safely. It is guaranteed that kids will be out and about. Keep your headlights on, drive slowly, watch for kids, and do not drive inebriated.

Halloween can be one of the most exciting times in a child’s life, but it will only stay that way if they are safe. Devise and follow a game plan that will leave little room for error. As you settle in for the spookiest season of the year, take time to explain the importance of safety to your children so they can have the best Halloween experience. —John Bledsoe

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SELF-HELP BOOKS CAN’T DO IT ALL HOW READING FICTION CAN BENEFIT YOU Many CEOs and other successful individuals continually espouse the benefits of regular reading. Many times, leaders read self-help books to improve their leadership skills and become more successful. This is all well and good, but even the most successful people in the world could be missing out on the unique benefits that come specifically from reading fiction. But what are those benefits exactly? GREATER EMPATHY When a psychologist analyzed 86 functioning MRI (fMRI) studies, he found that the same parts of the brain that fire up when reading fictional stories also fire up when we’re seeking to understand the thoughts and feelings of others. That’s because when the characters in the book we’re reading are thinking or feeling a certain way, we tend to think or feel that way with them. LESS STRESS AND BETTER SLEEP When we read fiction specifically, we tend to disengage from the world — and that’s a good thing! Our brains can’t always be functioning at their peak

capacity. We need breaks, or else we’ll stress ourselves out and negatively affect other areas of our lives. Stress tends to keep us from sound sleep, but reading fiction before bed engages the imagination, taking us away from the stresses of everyday life before we drift off. MORE COMFORT WITH UNCERTAINTY Even though many stories (particularly those portrayed in popular movies) have nice happy endings, most people would agree that life sometimes leaves things a little more open-ended. While this fact might stress out some people, researchers have discovered that fiction readers don’t need “cognitive closure” as much as nonfiction readers. GREATER HAPPINESS Even if none of the benefits of fiction interest you, everyone wants to find ways to make themselves happy — and for many, that is reading fiction. According to one survey, 76% of participants said that reading makes them feel good and improves their lives. So, what are you waiting for? Dust off that novel you’ve been meaning to read and crack it open!

DIVORCING A NARCISSIST

C an Y our L awyer H andle a D ifficult S pouse ?

Divorce can be one of the most difficult times in a person’s life, and things become substantially worse if your ex believes the world revolves around them. Finding a lawyer who can handle a challenging ex can be difficult. Sometimes the lawyer you hire does not seem to be handling the situation well. Before it’s too late, you can identify a few signs that suggest your lawyer is unfamiliar with narcissism, and then you can make a change. First, if your attorney fails to anticipate the opposing side’s moves, you could be in trouble. Narcissists are people with an inflated sense of their own importance who have a deep need for excessive attention. This behavior pattern is usually not new to the relationship, and you should inform your lawyer about your ex’s prior conduct. If they appear flustered or do not listen to your insight, it might be time to find a new lawyer.

outlandish even if you have proof. It’s even possible that your attorney believes you are crazy for coming up with this story. This could lead to your ex getting the upper hand in the divorce, and they could continue to abuse you throughout the divorce process. There is a light at the end of the tunnel for anyone who believes their attorney is failing them. You can find another one to help you win your case before you get too deep. The Bledsoe Firm has a long history of specializing in divorces complicated by mental illness. We have seen and navigated this situation countless times for our clients. Divorce is never enjoyable, but these difficult situations can make life unbearable. We can fix that. If you are struggling through a messy divorce and you feel like your attorney is not handling the situation well, give us a call at 949.363.5551.

Worse yet, your lawyer might not even believe you. If they are unfamiliar with narcissism or other mental health issues, they could find your story

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W ord S earch Black Costume Ghost Halloween Haunted Moon

BIPOLAR OR BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER? E asy W ays to S pot the D ifference When somebody suspects their spouse is suffering from a serious personality disorder or mental health problems, in most cases, the first place they turn is the internet. With so much information out there, it can become complicated when you realize that many symptoms overlap in the world of mental health. A clinician may be the only one who can truly diagnose someone, but your research can still be helpful. Bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder share some common traits and are difficult to discern from each other. Let’s take a closer look at how to spot the difference. WHAT IS BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER? Borderline personality disorder is an illness marked by an ongoing pattern of varying moods, self-image, and behavior. Symptoms can include, but are not limited to, an intense fear of abandonment, rapid changes in self-identity, suicidal thoughts, wide mood swings, and extremely impulsive or risky behavior such as gambling or drug use. WHAT IS BIPOLAR DISORDER? Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition that causes intense mood swings, including emotional highs and extreme lows. While many of the symptoms are similar to borderline personality disorder, there are actually three different types of bipolar disorder. These three types still involve clear changes in mood, energy, and activity levels. HOW CAN I TELL THE DIFFERENCE? Mental health problems are much more difficult to diagnose than a physical injury. Luckily, two telling signs help to differentiate between bipolar and borderline. The first sign is the source of the mood swings. An individual with the borderline disorder is often triggered by interpersonal conflicts, while someone with bipolar is more likely to be triggered by internal processing. The other difference is the length of their mood swing shift. Someone with borderline personality disorder may experience a shorter shift, lasting as little as a few minutes up to days. However, someone with bipolar disorder could experience a shift that lasts for months.

Mystery Orange Party Pumpkin Shadows Spooky

OKTOBERFEST SOFT PRETZELS

Inspired by Tasty.co

INGREDIENTS

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1 1/2 cups warm water

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3 tbsp oil, divided

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1 tbsp salt

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2/3 cup baking soda

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1 tbsp sugar

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2 eggs, beaten

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1 packet active dry yeast

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Coarse salt, for sprinkling

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4 1/2 cups flour

DIRECTIONS

1. In a bowl, combine water, salt, and sugar. Add yeast and let rest for 5 minutes. Add flour and 2 tbsp oil, then mix thoroughly into a dough. 2. Remove the dough from the bowl. Coat bowl with remaining oil, then return the dough, cover with plastic wrap, and set it aside in a warm place for 1 hour. 3. Preheat oven to 450 F. 4. Cut dough into 8 pieces. Roll them into thin ropes, then twist ropes into pretzel shapes. 5. In a large pot, boil water. Add baking soda, then boil each pretzel for 1 minute, flipping halfway through. 6. Transfer pretzels to a baking sheet. Brush them with egg and sprinkle with salt. Bake for 10–15 minutes. Enjoy!

Keep in mind that it is still best to get a diagnosis from an experienced clinician even after you’ve done your research and understand the basics.

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Inside

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4 Tips for Trick-or-Treaters

The Unique Benefits of Reading Fiction

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Divorcing a Difficult Spouse 2 Mental health disorders and How to tell the difference Oktoberfest Soft Pretzels

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Corn Mazes Date Back to Ancient Greece?

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CORN MAZES DATE BACK TO ANCIENT GREECE? A HISTORICAL LOOK AT THIS WACKY FALL TRADITION

Exploring a corn maze is a great way to get outside and enjoy the fall season with friends and family — but who came up with the idea of wandering around a corn field for fun? As it turns out, outdoor mazes are an ancient tradition, and the American corn maze of the '90s sprouted from the mazes of 17th-century European gardens. Don’t believe it? Here’s a quick tour of corn maze history. THE MINOTAUR AND THE MAZE Have you heard of Theseus and the Minotaur? This ancient Greek legend tells the story of the hero Theseus, who ventured into an elaborate maze to kill the half-man, half-bull imprisoned there. The monstrous Minotaur was known to eat heroes, and the labyrinth was known to trap them, but Theseus managed to slay the Minotaur and find his way home with the help of a string that he unspooled as he walked. This story isn’t the first recorded example of a maze or labyrinth — according to the World History encyclopedia, “[L]abyrinths and labyrinthine symbols have been dated to the Neolithic Age in regions as diverse as

modern-day Turkey, Ireland, Greece, and India, among others” — but it’s perhaps the most famous ancient tale. If you’ve ever navigated a Halloween corn maze staffed by ghouls and ghosts, you can see the parallels! GARDEN ART TO GET LOST IN Mazes formed from bushes began popping up European gardens in the 17th century. They were a popular artistic feature of upper-class gardens in England, more for looking at than solving. One famous example is the half- mile-long Hampton Maze, which was planted in 1690 and still stands today. THE CORN MAZE: AN AMERICAN INVENTION Garden mazes eventually hopped the pond to America but didn’t become interactive puzzles until Don Frantz, creative director of the American Maze Company, came on the scene. In 1993, Frantz created the “first ever cornfield maze for private and public entertainment” to attract college kids in Pennsylvania. Today, every small-town corn maze is a descendant of his “Amazing Maize Maze.” To learn more about that wacky history, visit AmericanMaze.com.

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